The Sound of Letting Go
deejay take me away
With his fist pumped upwards towards the ceiling and his head thrashing back and forth to the music, Carlos felt invincible.
The groups of people dancing around him helped to reinforce that feeling, in some way insulating him, keeping his feel-good high contained as his body bounced to the beat.
While his friend James was drifting through the crowd, trying to find a girl to dance with, Carlos didn’t budge. He was perfectly content dancing along; actually, he preferred dancing alone to dancing with a partner. There were too many things to think about when it came to dancing with girls, and Carlos found himself more focused on the girl than on the actual music, which defeated the purpose for him.
After a long week of school, recording, and dance rehearsals, Carlos needed to feel the music take him over. He needed to release all of the tension that had built up inside of him over the course of the week and transformed him into something he didn’t recognize. He needed to music to bring him back.
He could feel the raging house mix pound against his eardrums, fire across the synapses in his brain, and course through his veins, slowly overtaking him from the inside out. As he convulsed to the rhythm, he could feel all of the insults, insecurities, and stress fall off of his body like a discarded second skin.
Even with all of the positive energy he seemed to exude, Carlos still had those times where he despised himself. And even with that genuine glow in his warm brown eyes, there were still some things that he kept to himself, things he buried deep within the folds of his thoughts, things that he wanted to forget.
Sometimes Carlos felt like the tumbleweed of the group; he didn’t have that aspect of his personality that defined him as an individual, and a part of him envied that. He wasn’t strong and fearless like Kendall. He didn’t have James’s charisma or Logan’s brains. In the end, he was himself, and that was all he had to give: a bundle of insecurities and confusion wrapped in a sunny yellow paper.
Carlos hadn’t “accidentally” invited all of his contacts to what was supposed to be a small gathering. Though he wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, he knew how to work his cell phone. The other guys were just so accustomed to their perception of him that they brushed it off as another one of his clumsy mistakes.
In all honesty, Carlos feared the intimacy. He felt more comforted surrounded by throngs of people than he did in a more personal setting. Surrounded by people, Carlos was just another face in the crowd.
The tube lights above gave Carlos’s caramel skin a violet glow, and as the rhythm grew faster and more intense, his thoughts faded away until he was just a bobbing, thrashing, fist-pumping body of energy.
This was the sound of letting go.
The groups of people dancing around him helped to reinforce that feeling, in some way insulating him, keeping his feel-good high contained as his body bounced to the beat.
While his friend James was drifting through the crowd, trying to find a girl to dance with, Carlos didn’t budge. He was perfectly content dancing along; actually, he preferred dancing alone to dancing with a partner. There were too many things to think about when it came to dancing with girls, and Carlos found himself more focused on the girl than on the actual music, which defeated the purpose for him.
After a long week of school, recording, and dance rehearsals, Carlos needed to feel the music take him over. He needed to release all of the tension that had built up inside of him over the course of the week and transformed him into something he didn’t recognize. He needed to music to bring him back.
He could feel the raging house mix pound against his eardrums, fire across the synapses in his brain, and course through his veins, slowly overtaking him from the inside out. As he convulsed to the rhythm, he could feel all of the insults, insecurities, and stress fall off of his body like a discarded second skin.
Even with all of the positive energy he seemed to exude, Carlos still had those times where he despised himself. And even with that genuine glow in his warm brown eyes, there were still some things that he kept to himself, things he buried deep within the folds of his thoughts, things that he wanted to forget.
Sometimes Carlos felt like the tumbleweed of the group; he didn’t have that aspect of his personality that defined him as an individual, and a part of him envied that. He wasn’t strong and fearless like Kendall. He didn’t have James’s charisma or Logan’s brains. In the end, he was himself, and that was all he had to give: a bundle of insecurities and confusion wrapped in a sunny yellow paper.
Carlos hadn’t “accidentally” invited all of his contacts to what was supposed to be a small gathering. Though he wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, he knew how to work his cell phone. The other guys were just so accustomed to their perception of him that they brushed it off as another one of his clumsy mistakes.
In all honesty, Carlos feared the intimacy. He felt more comforted surrounded by throngs of people than he did in a more personal setting. Surrounded by people, Carlos was just another face in the crowd.
The tube lights above gave Carlos’s caramel skin a violet glow, and as the rhythm grew faster and more intense, his thoughts faded away until he was just a bobbing, thrashing, fist-pumping body of energy.
This was the sound of letting go.
♠ ♠ ♠
Another characterfic type thing, since I automatically thought of Carlos when I got this song (since he sings lead in it and all). This was actually pretty difficult since Carlos is the one I write the least about, but I still had fun writing this.