P.S. I Hate You

The ball was not fun. I’ll tell the truth. Most of the night consisted of James and I attached at the hip. People coming to congratulate us, people came to talk to us, reporters came to us to ask questions. Every time someone came up to us they had to bow or curtsy. Yet, I felt uncomfortable, no one told me what to do. So I just stood there like an idiot playing with my hair and holding James’ hand.

The whole night I had to dance and kiss James. Not to mention I had to pretend to love him. When ever I looked directly into his eyes I wanted to slap him. Every time we kissed I wanted to slap him. Every time we danced and he stepped on my foot on purpose I really wanted to push him to the floor. If I did I probably would be hated forever. But even though I wanted to do all those things, I was kind of happy about it. Deep down inside, but I’d never admit it.

I walked over to the bar, remembering to keep good posture. The whole down stairs was completely transformed. The furniture was in replacement of chairs and tables. In the corner by the kitchen was a legal bar. The lights were dimmed and everyone was in their suits and gowns. It was truly beautiful.

I sat down next to Amber.

“This party is a downer. The music is for like the 1800’s and the people are boring as hell.” She told me and took a sip from her drink.

I took the drink from her and took a sip myself. “I agree, we need to get this party bangin’.” Amber agreed and put the drink on the other side of her.

“Hey ladies,” Gavin, Terrance, and James came toward us. James shared a seat next to me, for the attention. Gavin sat next to Amber, and Terrance stood. I smiled at the three. “Amber, have I ever told you that your hot?” Gavin asked.

“Yes, about ten times tonight.” She answered with an eye roll.

“Just thought I should let you know again,” He replied and smiled. I also rolled my eyes.

“So what’s up?” Terrance asked us.

“This ball is lame. I thought balls were fun, exciting, and enchanting. Like on the Princess Diaries.” Amber said.

“You do realize those stories are fictional?” Terrance asked again. Amber nodded her head and sighed, taking another sip from her drink.

James arms went around my waist. I slightly tensed up, then looked around the room. Everyone was again staring at us. I started to nibble on my lip and ease up a bit.

“Don’t chew your lip, it’s a horrible habit!” Amber lightly smacked my face. I gave her a glare and started nibbling again. This time when Amber tried to stop me, I bit her finger. “Bitch,” she muttered. I smiled and continued with my nibbling.

“Will we ever get time alone?” I asked James. He shook his head, no. I sighed and leaned into his body. Pretending to be comfortable, pretending to be in love.

I looked across the room and stared at the stereo. There was a boy next it. He was sitting and looked bored with himself. A few seconds later he stood up and changed the song.

“Okay, now what the fuck is this shit?” Amber asked us.

“Beethoven.” Terrance answered with a smile.

I shuttered. Then a plan came to mind. “Amber.” I whined her name to get her attention. She rolled her eyes and turned to me, “I want you to go make friends with that guy over there and then convince him to let you put on some good music.” I told her.

“That’s easier than making cake. But considering that I can't make cake… okay I’ll do it!” Amber cheered, stood up, and walked over to the boy. I watched as the boys face lit up when Amber came over to him. As if it was the first time someone’s talked to him all night.

Within a matter of minutes the boy stood up and took out the CD. Amber turned to us and gave me two thumbs up. Next thing you know All Time Low was filling the room. Everyone who was dancing and talking before suddenly stopped and looked towards the boy and Amber. Amber smiled as Alex Gaskarth sang Jasey Rae.

I stood and dragged James, Terrance, and Gavin onto the dance floor. Amber came with us and everyone else just stared with their mouths slightly open. Amber and I smiled at everyone and started dancing.

Gavin, James, and Terrance followed along with us. Soon half of the people in the room were moving in a awkward rhythm. Then everyone followed along. People were finally laughing and dancing and having fun.

I turned around while I was laughing and ran into my mother.

“Oh, erm, hi mom.” I said as my laughing died down to giggles.

“What on earth are you doing?” She asked, with her hands on her hips.

“Having fun.” I answered with a shrug.

“You do realize what can happen? Countless things I can't name right now! Goodness Ever Jacquelyn.” She shook her head. “We have to talk,” She sighed and lead me over to the bar. I sat down and smiled as the song changed to something slower and calmer.

My mother opened her mouth and started to talk, but I heard a voice behind me. “Ever Jacquelyn, what in Gods name is this music? Do you know what could happen to you? To James? To what everyone thinks of the throne? This music could ruin you, me, James, and many other people. Do you know-” Mary was soon cut off.

“Mary, Mary! I have to tell Ever the bad news. Could you please excuse us?” My mom asked.

“Fine, but you and I are having a talk after this young lady.” Mary pointed her long pale finger towards me and turned on her heel. Walking the other way. Damn I hate her.

“So, what’s this horrible news you keep talking about?” I asked my mom once Mary was out of earshot.

“Its not easy to say. I don’t know how to say it…” She muttered.

“Mom, just spit it out.” I told her.

She sighed, “Your father. We went to the doctor a few days ago and he found something. Its why he’s not here today. Its just… Your father has brain cancer.”

*~*~*~*~*

The party was over once I ran upstairs in tears. Amber rushed after me, Terrance ran after me, and Gavin followed. But no James. I sobbed into Ambers dress when we first came up stairs. Terrance, who I think I liked, was lightly rubbing my back and soothing me. Even though Gavin and I barley talked, there he was trying to comfort me.

Still, after an hour or so of me crying, there was no James.

I sighed and cuddled up to my best friends leg.

“You got tears all over my new dress…” Amber mumbled and stared down at me.

She always knew how to make me feel better. But this time it didn’t work. I breathed a fake laugh.

Gavin had the TV turned on in the hopes of me laughing and focusing my attention on something else. When he turned on the radio it just made me cry even harder. When he turned on the radio the song my dad and I always listened to came on.

Terrance also tried to comfort me. He told me he was going to run me a hot bubble bath and make me cheesecake. I sadly declined. I hope I can get a bubble bath and cheese cake later though.

Well Amber, she’s known me forever so she did the one thing that would calm me down. She read me a book of jokes. She told me some dirty jokes. Made random jokes. We went over the good times and the bad. It made me laugh. Now all I was left of was sadness.

I sighed and laid my head in Ambers lap and placed my feet on Terrance’s lap. I heard a knock on the door. I slightly smiled. Hopefully it was James coming to comfort me. What was I thinking? A few days ago I hated this boy, and now I want to know more about him. I mentally slapped myself.

I needed more things to hate him. Quick, mental list of pros and cons.

Pro: He’s cute, He’s funny, He has a nice sense of style, He has gorgeous eyes, He has a nice body, His hair is wonderful and silky, and he can be nice at times.

Con: He’s cocky, ignorant, mean, gross, ruined my life, he makes my day a living hell, he doesn’t like me, he hates me, he insults me, his nose is crooked, he kisses like a dog, he’s a pervert, insensitive, and he’s an asshole.

I sighed, there, that made me feel slightly better. I prompt myself on my elbow as my mom came into the door.

I let out a puff of air I didn’t know I was holding in. “Amber honey, you have to be home by 11 tomorrow for church. We should get going.” My mom said, bringing out a luggage from behind her.

Amber lifted my head up and I sat up straight. I pouted, “Promise to visit me for my birthday?” I asked with my best puppy dog face.

“Of course sugar plum,” Amber wiped a tear from the corner of my eye and embraced me in a hug. I hugged back.

“You do know my birthday is next week?” I asked. She smiled and shook her head.

“You're so lucky your birthday is memorial day weekend.” With that she gave me another hug and left the room with my mother.

I let out another breath and laid my head on Terrance’s lap. It was very silent in the room except for Family Guy playing loudly and the two boys laughing occasionally.

It left me time to think.

I couldn’t hang out with my best friend like I used to until she graduated from high school in two years. I have crush on my fiancés best friend. Next year I have to continue school in England, which isn’t so bad. I have a fiancé that I didn’t even like and he didn’t like me back. I have to rule along with my said fiancé. To top it off my dad has brain cancer.

The only dad I have. The only dad I will ever have. He might be gone sooner than I thought. Might die without a goodbye. All because he has brain cancer.

A tear ran down my face.

“Shit, Terrance, we have to go.” Gavin said, standing up. Gavin came over and pulled me to the edge of the bed. He pulled me up and gave me a hug which almost made me fall backward. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning to make you soup.” He said and smiled at me.

I managed a chuckle. When we went upstairs at first he didn’t know what was wrong with me. So he told me he was going to make me soup. Even after I told him what happened he still promised me that soup.

Gavin walked over to the door and patiently waited for Terrance. Terrance scooted over to me and gave me a big hug too.

“I promise tomorrow I’ll make you cheese cake and make you a bubble bath.” Terrance told me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Terrance and Gavin left and a second later James walked through the door. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked me.

I looked at him as if he was stupid. “Do I look okay?” I asked and went under the covers.

James sat on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes. He too went under the covers. “Look I know we haven’t really been getting on the right foot here. So lets start over.” He put his hand out in front of him. “Hi, I’m James Lovett Jones. I’m your forced fiancé. You can call me Lovett for short if you may.” He smiled at me.

I sighed, he made me melt. I took his hand, “I’m Ever Jacquelyn Manning. Your forced fiancé. Call me Jacquelyn and your dead.” He smiled and turned the other way.

I turned off the TV and the lights. “James…” I said.

“Hmmm…” He muttered, ready to go to sleep.

“Thank you.” I said and went into a deep sleep. Nothing filled with dying dads and forced marriages.