P.S. I Hate You

I closed my eyes as I moved my hand in the water making me move in circles on my floating chair. I moved my glasses from my face and on top of my head. I flopped over and looked at Amber who was panting from her couple of laps around the pool.

“Tell me why you did laps around the pool?” I asked her after I prompted my head on my hand.

She was breathing heavily and slowly swimming over to me, “One, I needed some exercise. Two, Gavin was watching and I just wanted to show him a little something.” She winked and leaned on my clear floating chair. I smiled and shook my head. Amber was always like this. Flirting and what not.

“Aren’t you dating that Shane Jordan guy?” I asked her, bringing up a guy from about a month ago.

“I was dating that Shane Jordan guy. He was too short. Hot, but short. But now I’m going for Gavin.” She smiled and winked then took a chair floating by and sat on it.

“I thought you said that Gavin was annoying and needed to get a life separate from his perverted ways and actions.”

“He may be perverted, but he sure is one hot guy.” She smiled and looked up at the window where the boys were watching. I looked up also and saw a different look on all the boys faces.

First I looked at Gavin’s. His was the easiest and the funniest to read. Basically he was drooling over two girls in their bikinis in a pool. I’m sure the only girl he’s seen close to a bikini was his mother from the way he was looking. He was probably one of those mommas boys who only gets kisses from his mom too.

Next was James. He looked anything but happy. He was just glaring at me. As if he hated me for years and years to come. Then again he was giving me a certain look that said I need to talk to you. Two completely different emotions but it fit his expression perfectly. I surely needed to talk to him soon.

Last I looked over at Terrance. He was just staring. Sort of a blank stare. Then once him and I looked at each other it all changed. His face grew softer, like he was about to cry. He sort of had the same look James hate. Instead of the hate. More like angry. Maybe angry that I broke it off with him like that. But he also showed that we needed to talk.

I slightly smiled at the three boys. I glanced at Amber and she was doing the same with a little flirtatious wave to Gavin. Gavin wiggled his eyebrows in response. I focused my vision on James and Terrance. Terrance was looking down at the floor pretending to be interested in something else. James was still staring at me hard.

I couldn’t stand them staring at me like that. Amber and I got out the pool and went inside with our towels wrapped around our bodies. We were sitting on a wood bench in the hall where the maids stayed. I leaned on the wall and moved my head toward Amber who was picking at her wet ends of hair.

I sighed loudly and stared hard at Amber. “Something wrong my dear?” She asked, not taking her attention away from her hair.

“Everything,” I muttered and let out another sigh.

Amber put all her hair to one side of her shoulder and rested her hands on her lap. “Well tell Aunty Amber all about it. Maybe she’ll give you some of her awesome wisdom on the love bakery.”

I gave her a odd look on the word love bakery. I rolled my eyes and whined as I leaned my head on her shoulder. “I don’t know what to do!”

“About which problem?” She asked while combing my hair with her fingers. “Problem A is James the ass whole. Problem B is Terrance the sexy brit. Lastly problem C is wedding.”

I smiled at my friend and said, “Problem A and B. I don’t think problem C is much of a problem since Mary is taking care of everything.”

“Taking care of what? Its your fucking wedding. I want to know what color my dress is so I can buy new accessories to match the dress." She motioned to two bracelets on each arm and a gold necklace. I rolled my eyes. Amber was always a jewelry person.

“The dress is going to be pink…” I whispered and then yelled, “This is not the big problem in hand! I need to know what to do about Terrance and James.” I whined again.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have told James to forget everything and go back to hating each other. You were dumb to have broken Terrance’s heart like that. You didn’t have to be so damn heartless. Then the only good thing you did during this whole thing was tell off Madiline. Which I really wanted to see… But that doesn’t matter because its in the past. Ever, you screwed up big time. Its going to take a lot of work to fix yet another mess you made.” Amber smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes and frowned. “Amber, I didn’t want to be reminded of all the bad I did. I want to know how to fix it. Tell me how I should fix Terrance and I. I don’t want to be with him. I just want us to be friends at lease. I want this marriage to somewhat work. You know, for my dad.” My voice kind of broke on the word dad. I stared at the wall for a second before shaking my head and turning to Amber for her response.

“Well sweetie, you could either leave him alone till he comes to you begging for forgiveness. Which might take forever. Then there’s a second choice you could talk to him soon and tell him that you had PMS, I don’t know, that you were sad about your dad. Something to let him know that everything you said wasn't true but you still want to be friends. You need to talk to him soon. And I do mean soon Ever, I know you, you’ll probably wait till its to late and Terrance will hate you forever and ever.”

I nodded my head and smiled at Amber. “Okay, so what about James? I really liked it when we were nice to each other. But when we're mean its so much more fun. Its like everything is simpler when I don’t have to be nice to James.” It made no sense but somehow it did. Maybe I just didn’t want to pretend I’m buddy buddy with James. I know that I hate him and he hates me. Hell, if it wasn’t for our parents knowing each other we wouldn’t be in this situation. But we are.

I don’t know what I was talking about. I was so confused. I wanted everything perfect. It wasn’t just my mom and the Joneses who set this up, but it was also my dad. My dad who was dying right now as I think. My dad who I just found out has brain cancer. My dad who might not even make it to see me walk to the dreaded isle and say my forced ‘I do’s’. I just needed to make him happy and I would be happy. I couldn’t do that with Terrance in the way.

I had to make everything right with James. Hopefully we could just gradually get back to how we were. Weather we were constantly yelling at each other like we were when we first met or how we were two days ago. Either way the decision needed to made right now. Its now or never.

Amber turned to me and looked me straight in the eye, “I can't tell you anything about James. Only you can fix that mess with that boy.” I nodded again and gave my best friend a hug. “But just remember,” She started in my ear, “I’ll be here with you through it all. Even with your dad.” I felt her smile into my shoulder. I smiled also and dug my head into her still wet neck.

I sort of felt some kind of water works going on. But before anything could happen I heard the front door open and then close. I heard a few sets of footsteps. I detached myself from Amber and turned around where my mother and Mary were standing.

Mary had her signature frown on her face. “My dear what have you done to your hair?” He yelped.

I slightly smiled and replied, “Well I thought it was time for a change. I wasn’t really thinking when I did it. But I like it.” I smiled again and shrugged my shoulders.

“Dear, you must change your hair immediately. Everyone was raving about how they loved you hair color and now you go and change it to the most dark color in the wheel!” She squealed and looked disappointed in me.

“Mary, its not that big of a deal. I’m sure it’ll come out in two months before the wedding. Plus it sort of looks good.” My mother said with a fake smile on her face.

“I suppose…” Mary muttered, “Anyway your dresses are here girls. Go ahead and pick them out as you wish.”

As they say, its my party and I’ll cry if I want to. So lets boogie on down.