Status: Finished, check other stories.

P.S. I Hate You

Thinking Of You

I straightened my crème dress onto my legs and parted my once again red hair to both sides of my head. I sighed at the curled ends and deeper red color. I hated it even more than the natural red it was before.

I faked a kind smile to my best friend Amber sitting next to me in the dark truck. We’ve been in our home town for two weeks or so. Everyday I spent with my dad and everyday was also wasted with Amber. It was the most fun I’ve had since I came to Alabama. Although its also been the most depressing. To watch my father get worse and worse each day killed me a little bit more inside.

The last three days or so Mary took all of us by surprise by coming down and personally checking up on Dad and bringing Amber and me back here. Today would be the wedding reception. Next week we’ll be traveling to England to live. Within two weeks I would be married to James Jones.

The fact that I had to watch my life speed up so fast while I was still stuck behind the future as a kid made me want to end it right here. I wanted to date guys and go to the beach whenever I wanted. I wanted to actually go to school and go to college. I want to make mistakes and live in my own house. I couldn’t have any of that. I wanted to do this. I had to do this.

The drive took another hour or so. Amber and I said nothing. She knew what I was thinking, but she didn’t know how much it was to handle.

Once we got to the place where the reception was held we walked out the car and into the building. We went the back way into a back room to get ready to make our entrance. Amber gave me a hug and a quiet good luck into my ear as she walked out with my mother.

I faced the door, knowing James was behind me. I slightly smiled to myself, remembering what he looked like. I knew by the time I saw his face all I wanted to do was kiss him and hug him. Ask him for forgiveness and never go back to not speaking. I wanted to, but I didn’t.

James grabbed my hand and I shivered.

“Sorry,” He muttered with a slight smirk in his voice. I shook my head and looked at nothing but the wall.

“I’m sorry.” I told him ignoring his apology. I didn’t know why I said it. I mentally slapped myself for even thinking of telling him that before the reception. I wanted to tell him after when we were in the hotel.

Somehow he knew exactly what I meant. “Don’t be,” He told me, “I should be sorry.” Those were the last words before Mary urged us to go out the doors and make our entrance.

As we walked out the doors, with Mary following not to far after, I couldn’t help but put a real smile on my face. The cameras flashed and my smile became wider. My life was falling apart in front of my eyes. Though, there was one part that was slowly coming together. The only think keeping me from falling was the one person I was afraid to fall for.


After the long reception we decided to sleep at a nearby hotel since the house was far from where the reception was held. James was quite during the car ride to the hotel. Amber decided that was the time to blabber all day.

Once we got to the hotel, mom and Amber each got their own room. James and I had to share rooms again. My heart felt as if it were about to jump out my chest and onto the dark patterned carpet. I could feel my heartbeat all through my body and my face start to grow red.

We made it to our room and James used the key to get in. James and I passed the short walk way of the closets and fridge and made our way to the one bed. He sat down and started to untie his tie.

“You can take a shower if you’d like. I’ll take one in the morning.” He smiled at me and continued to undress. I could feel the deep crimson rushing towards my face. I quickly took the offer and rushed into the bathroom with my bag in hand.

I turned on the shower and took my clothing off while I waited for the water to get warm. Once the water was warm I jumped in the shower and bathed as quickly as possible. One part of me couldn’t wait to see James in his boxer briefs laying on the bed waiting for me to join him into the sleep. The other part of me wanted to get over with this night and never look back on it.

I took a towel from the counter and started to towel dry my hair. I continued onto my body and wrapped the towel around myself. I opened my bag and started to search for pajamas to wear. I was hoping to find my kitty pajamas. But what I was searching for wasn’t there. All I could find was skimpy lingerie and a short nightie.

I sighed. Of course Amber would switch my pajamas to this. I zipped the bag and put it aside on the floor. I put my undergarments on and peeked my head outside the bathroom door.

“Um… James?” I asked quietly. At first I thought he didn’t hear. I watched as he turned his head from the ceiling and looked at me. Just as I predicted, he was laying in the bed, partially covered by the blankets with his white boxer briefs on. He looked beyond perfect. All I wanted to do was lay on his chest and forget about the worries.

He raised an eyebrow in question. “Oh… Um, I was wondering if you could possibly give me a shirt of yours to wear?” I asked, hopefully in the most casual way possible.

He smiled and stood. He went into the corner and brought out a shirt from his bag. He handed it to me with a smirk on his face. “Why would you need to borrow my shirt?”

“Because, Amber thought it was funny to switch my pajamas to… um… hooker clothing.” I muttered, feeling the warmth on my cheeks.

He chuckled, “I’m sure you know I wouldn’t mind seeing that.” He turned on his heel and laid back down on the bed.

I took a deep breath and closed the door. I quickly put his shirt on. I buttoned the first four buttons to cover my bra and underwear. The shirt was long enough to reach about an inch above my knees. I looked in the mirror and ran my fingers through my wet hair. I turned the lights off and headed out the bathroom.

“You look much better with my shirt on.” James commented. I fought back the creeping blush and smiled. I sat on the bed and looked at the wall. For a while it was a complete silence filling the room. I adjusted myself on the bed and stared at James.

“What are you thinking?” I whispered.

“Nothing..” He muttered.

I rolled my eyes and laid on the bed. I prompted my head on my hand and continued to stare at him. “You don’t just look the ceiling and not think of anything. Now come on tell me what you’re thinking about.” I playfully pushed him and gave a slight smile.

He didn’t smile back and he looked at me in the eye. “You. I’m thinking of you.” The smile faded from my lips. I looked into his eyes. Then I could tell he was completely and truly sorry about what happened. I wish and hoped he could see in my eyes that I was sorry too.

He opened his mouth to speak. “I shouldn’t have said any of those things. If anything you’re the only person I ever think about. You’re the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person to come to mind when I go to sleep. You’re in my dreams and nightmares. One of my most fears now is not having you by my side for the rest of my life. I don’t know about you but that sounds a lot like love.”

I opened and closed my mouth. I didn’t know what to say. I was absolutely speechless. “I love you.” He stated. He shook his head and chuckled. “I’m in love with you.”

James opened his mouth to say something else. I ignored whatever words that were trying to escape his mind and took his head in my hands and kissed his soft plump lips. I broke apart and smiled, “I love you.”

James smiled in reply and continued to kiss me. The kissing continued and continued. It made my head rush and swim. I couldn’t think, I didn’t want to think. All I could do was feel the way his lips moved in rhythm with mine. I loved every single minute of it.

The make out session heated up. I couldn’t control my actions. All I could think of was trying to getting his white button down shirt off my body. Everything felt right. I finally felt myself again. I felt a warm sensation in the pit of my stomach and completely understood, I was madly in love with James Jones.
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You guys have been waiting and waiting and I'm sorry. I'm super busy. Just wait until after the second week of November and I'm totally free all my weekends. I love you all. 105 subs is insane. I wish I could hug you all and give you all love. Please comment, sub, rec if you wish.


I was thinking of the song 'Thinking Of You' by The Maine when I wrote this. So go take a listen if you would like to.