P.S. I Hate You

“You’re getting married, you’re getting married, you’re getting married.” I could hear the phrase over and over again. I had to keep telling myself to make myself believe it. But this time it wasn’t my voice. And roses were being thrown all over my body.

I groaned and lifted my arm from the heavy thick sheets. I threw my arm around, blocking the petals from falling on my face. “Amber what the hell?” I yelped, knowing it couldn’t be anyone else.

“You’re getting married today!” She exclaimed. I heard her footsteps move away from the bed. Great, maybe I could sleep away the wedding.

Much to my disappointment a bright ray of sunlight shone through my thin eyelids. “Five more minutes.” I muttered and rolled around, placing myself on my stomach.

“Nope. You have to take a shower, get your hair and makeup done, put your dress on. Then we have to get you into the limo and take you to the venue. Then we have to make sure everything is in tiptop shape and then you’re getting married and then it’s the reception. And then you’re on your way to your honey moon.”

Damn, I had to do a lot today. I wasn’t too fond about the honeymoon part. Sure going to Hawaii seems fantastic, but does it have to be now? I groaned and let Amber pull me out of bed.

“Now get into the shower. You smell like dog.” Amber smiled and pushed me towards the bathroom. I smiled and walked the remaining two feet that she pushed me in. I closed the door behind me and turned the hot water on, ready for a shower.

I quickly removed my clothes and stepped into the shower. I let the steaming hot water fall onto my curly hair. I picked up the shampoo, and tipped over the bottle before opening the top. I looked my left hand and saw the ring glistening in the water. I opened my mouth, letting water drops softly land on my tongue.

I’m getting married today. I’m a 16 year old teenager getting married. I’m not just getting married to anyone, I’m getting married to a 19 year old prince of England. I’m not getting married because I’m in some crazy Amish family, but because my parents arranged for me to marry by the time I was a fetus.

I’ve found the only person I will ever and have ever loved. I’m about to rule a country. Become queen. I’ll never be able to make life’s mistakes, go on a wild ride to California or kiss some random stranger. This is it, no more holding back. The rest of my life is set for me and I couldn’t do a single thing about it.

I dropped my shampoo bottle. I looked down at the shower floor and watched as the water made impact with the white surface. I felt the saltiness touch the top of my lip. As soon as I realized I’d been crying I dropped to the shower floor.

Thirty minutes later Amber came into the shower. She opened the shower door and shook her head. “I knew something like this would happen.” She tsked and muttered. Amber kneeled down and finished washing my hair, noticing that I hadn’t done the task. Once she finished she turned off the water and wrapped me in a towel. I stood up with the help of Amber.

“Why do you do this?” Amber asked, handing me a white fuzzy robe.

“How could I not?” I answered, “How could I not break down each day? I wake up and walk around and everything I do, everything I touch reminds me of what I don’t want. Of what a failure I am. I cant become queen, I cant get married, I cant not have a dad. England doesn’t deserve me, James doesn’t deserve me, my dad needs me. I’m torn in every direction.”

Amber began to comb through my hair with a brush. “But you love James. You would do anything for him and he would do anything for you. You’re dad would want this for you. I bet he’s sitting in that hospital bed at home thinking about you and only you.” I doubt it, he doesn’t even remember me.

“I will do anything for James. I’m still going through with the wedding. I’m still going to give my youth away and rule a country. I would never disappoint my father or James.” I continued to let my best friend brush my red hair down until we heard a knock. I stood up and put on my undergarments in a place where Amber couldn’t see me.

I turned to her and looked her in the eye. “Tell me one thing. If you were in my shoes when would you break down and leave?”

*~*~*~*~*

My hair and make up was finally done after an hour or two of primping. I stared at myself in the mirror. Only two more hours. In two hours I’ll be Mrs. Ever Jones. Boy, does that sound weird.

“Ever, its time to put your dress on.” Meghan came behind me, holding the white fabric, along with my shoes. I looked at Meghan’s entire figure and a smile came to my lips. She was wearing the black and pink brides maids dress, along with the baby pink heels.

“Meghan, you look beautiful!” I said, standing up and hugging her.

“Thanks darling, but you’re wrinkling your dress,” I quickly let her go and stepped back, “And mine. I make look beautiful but you’ll look timeless. This is your wedding day. You’re marring the love of your life. You’re going to be a real life princess. This is what all girls dream of when they’re little.”

“Don’t remind me…” I mutter, taking off my robe, ready for the dress. Meghan handed me the dress and put down the shoes. I took the dress off the hanger and stepped into the short white wedding gown.

“James loves you Ever. He always will. Whatever you do. You’re not missing out on your youth. You will always be you. Make mistakes, take road trips, go to Rome with your friends. Do whatever you want to do. God knows you’ve already kissed another guy. If you feel the pressure of the world and well, England on your shoulders, just come to me. I’ll always be there for you. James will always be there for you. So will Amber, Gavin, Terrance, and your parents. We’re here for you. And we love you. Please don’t go now. Not like this.”

Meghan zipped my dress as she talked. Once she was finished she turned me and took my face in her hands. “Now, you’re going to walk down that isle and marry my brother. You both have been waiting for this moment for too long.” I started to panic and looked at all the clocks around me. Has it been two hours already. No, we still had another hour and a half.

Meghan lead me outside and into the limo once I put my white sparkling shoes on. In the limo the rest of my brides maids were seated drinking white whine. I slid in next to Amber and smiled. She smiled back at me and Kim handed me a glass with whine in it.

“I guarantee you’ll be needing a lot of that tonight.” I giggled and took the glass from Kim. She’s right, I’ll be needing more than a lot of this tonight.

The front black wall separating the front of the limo from the back rolled down and then shone Mary’s face. “Hello girls. I heard about your little break down today Ever. I hope your fit enough to get married. Have you figured out your wedding vows yet?”

“Vows? There’s vows? Since when do I have to say vows?” I panicked and looked all around at my brides maids. Mary shook her head and rolled the wall back up, quickly going back to talking on the phone.

“Oh, don’t worry honey. We’ll help with your vows. I’m sure it cant be that hard?” Amber bunched her eyebrows together. Oh great, now I made my maid of honor stressed. I’ll just do this myself. I looked around the limo and stared at my friends who looked so helpful.

“Does anyone have a pen?”

*~*~*~*~*

Breath in. Out. In. Out. Oh god I’m going to faint. I shook my head and tried clearing my thoughts. Okay, you’re getting married Ever, not that big of a deal. Time to grow up. Time to be in love and rule a country. Oh I cant do this. I sighed and took the bouquet of water lilies Kim handed me. She exited the door first, making her way down the isle with her own bouquet. Oh God, we were already starting?

“Breath babe. This is what you’ve always dreamed of.” Meghan gave me a quick hug and followed Kim down the rose petal isle.

Amber came up to me and grabbed my shoulders. “Okay, got your vows?” She asked. I nodded. “You’re okay?” I nodded again. “Good. See you out there chicka.” Amber winked at me and gave me a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too Amber. But you’re supposed to be out there by now…”

“Oh right!” Amber backed away and looked at me with tears in her eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand and smiled at her. “Oh my best friend. Okay, I have to go! Stop making me cry so much.”

I laughed as Amber hurried out from the threshold, almost tripping in the process. I breathed again. Okay, now should be my time. I should be coming out right now. I took a step toward the white isle. I shook my head. No, I cant. Just five more minutes.

I stepped back and put the bouquet of flowers in one hand. Oh god, now I’m sweating. I started to fan my face. I put my other hand around the bouquet and smiled. Okay, I’m going to walk down that isle with the biggest smile on my face. I’m going to say my vows and then my forced I do’s. Then James and I will finally be married. I’m marrying James Jones.

Oh my Lord.

I stepped forward with the big smile on my face.

“You really didn’t think I would let you walk down that isle without me did you?” I heard a familiar voice say to me. I looked to my left and saw my dad, smiling down at me like he always did. Like when he was healthy and smart and remembered. Like when he was my dad.

I smiled with tears in my eyes. “Dad!” I yelped and ran into my fathers open arms. He was back, he was really back. “How… Why?” I asked. I cant believe he was here. Really here in my arms. I thought he was dying. I thought he wouldn’t remember. But here he is. Here he really is.

“I got surgery. I’ll be fine. The cancer is gone. I’m here. I’ll always be here for my little girl.” Dad held me away from his warm embrace. “What’s most important right now is that I walk you down the isle. Dry your eyes little princess. I’m here, I’ll never leave you.” Dad took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away my face and nose.

Once he knew I was done crying and that I actually believed he was fine he put the napkin back into his tux pocket. “Ready” He asked, holding out his arm for me to loop mine through. I nodded and quickly did that.

I took a deep breath as my dad helped me actually walk down the isle. Everyone stood as I made my way out. Oh God, don’t chicken out now Ever. You’re a big girl. You can get married. You’re already half way down the isle. I looked ahead at James and James only. His eyes found mine and he shone like a star. He loved me. He really loved me.

“You look beautiful.” My dad muttered to me, squeezing my arm with his. I smiled even wider. Once we made it at the end of the isle James took my other hand and Dad gave my bouquet to Amber.

“Took you long enough.” James muttered, facing the priest.

“Yeah, well I had a little troubles.” I replied smiling, taking his hand again.

I tried looking all around me without looking like a noob. In the corner of my eye I could see Terrance and Gavin in their tuxes. Then I could see Meghan, Kim and Amber in their dresses. I looked passed the priest and over the balcony. I could see the thousands of people looking up at us. Smiling. These people didn’t even know me and they were rooting me on, hoping I say I do and letting me rule there country.

“Time for the vows.” The priest said. Oh right vows. Crap. I haven’t remembered mine. James turned towards me and smiled.

He shook his head and looked at Terrance behind him, “Right, Terrance, come on.” I looked at the two boys, confused. Was he really going to use Terrance’s kind and sweet words as his own vows? Typical James. James smiled at me and lifted Terrance’s tux sleeve.

“You wrote your vows on Terrance’s arm?” I ask and laughed. James laughed and nodded.

“Okay. Ever,” James looked up at me from Terrance’s arm, “I hated you the first time I met you. I soon realized you’re everything I’m not. Smart, sweet, nice, and beautiful. You’re my other half and I couldn’t live another day without you. You make the best come out of me. You’ve made me whole and complete. I love you. I always will. From this day till our everlasting perish in Hell.” I laughed with tears in my eyes.

“I could count the ways of how much I love you. But if I did I’d never shut up. Ever Manning, you’ve bewitched me body and soul, and I love you.” Oh God now he was using quotes from Pride and Prejudice. Of course, only James. “I’m spending the rest of my life with you. I can’t fucking believe it.” I shook my head, oh lord was he getting a bunch of crap from his mother tomorrow.

“P.S. I hate you.” He said, just before everyone said aw and cooed and began crying. I laughed and wanted to kiss him right then and there. James let go of Terrance’s arm and he went back to where Gavin was.

Great how was I supposed to top that. The priest looked me and nodded, encouraging me to go on. I took a deep breath and looked down at my palm, where I had written my vows.

“You wrote your vows on your hand?” He asked. I laughed and nodded.

“Okay so. I could say I hated you when I met you. But I’d be lying. I loved you the moment I set eyes on you. Sure, I wanted to strangle you a couple of times. But that’s what comes with love. Sometimes I love you, I truly love you and want to wrap my arms around my neck. Then I realize you’re an asshole and I really hate you. I hate you so much I love you.” I looked up at James and he smiled.

“But then my heart starts beating really fast and I realize I cant keep my eyes off of you. I know that I don’t hate anything about you at all. I love you. Body, soul and mind. I guess what I’m trying to say here is, James Jones, I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Cue another set of coos and aws and crying women. I’m sure my dad was crying as well. The priest turned to us, but we didn’t turn to him. “If there are any objects speak now or forever hold your peace.” Thankfully there was silence all around.

“Good. James Jones would you take-” James cut the priest off and smiled at me, nodding his head.

“I do.” He took the ring from the abnormally tall ring barrier and slid it through my ring finger. Oh lord, it was so big and shiny and beautiful. I admired the ring for a while. Then I realized that the priest had finished saying his line and it was my turn to say mine.

“Oh, I do, definitely.” I smiled and took the ring from the white pillow, sliding it through James’ finger like he did mine. He didn’t take a moment to look at it like I had to.

“Now you may kiss…” Then again James interrupted the priest by planting a kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me from the ground, twirling me around. James’ lips parted from mine. I laughed into his shoulder. James Jones is my husband. I just married the Prince of England. Oh my lord.

Soon enough our friends were surrounding us in there arms. “You did it. You’re married. Oh my God, Ever.” Amber squealed and hugged me from behind.

James took my legs and carried me, bridal style. “Oh how cheesy of you.” I muttered to James.

“Oh shut up.” He smiled down at me.

So this is it. The fairytale of James Jones and Ever Manning. We hated each other and fought and broke up a couple of times. But here we are, now married and in love. I couldn’t ask for more. I didn’t want more. Just this moment here and forever. This was forever after. Our happily ever after. Maybe.

The End.