Breathe Me

“I understand if you want to say no, I just… merde! I shouldn’t have asked that”

He panics when I remain hushed and anxious at his question. He hastily gets up to leave, but I calmly grab his hand and his body turns toward mine; eyes bursting with hope. He slowly sits back down next to the tub; his deep brown eyes are analyzing my face. Had he really just asked me to move in with him? My heart thumps loudly in my chest, and I feel like I am about to faint at any moment.

“Do you mean it?” I speak softly, my heart beats louder when he grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips.

“Of course,” he places soft kisses on my skin, “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. I hate waking up without you, and coming home from practices to a lonely house. You always make me feel better, even after a terrible loss.”

He shakes his head as he tries to formulate his next words, “I need you, Sophia.”

I sit up more in the bathtub my eyes getting misty from the sweet words, “Yes”

“I understand if you don’t want to move in with me, I know this is all-“

I laugh softly and lean forward, pressing both of my hands to his cheeks and making him look me straight in the eyes, “Yes Kristopher, I’ll move in with you. Je ferais n'importe quoi pour vous”

A grin spreads across his lovely face, and he pulls me forward even more. My face turns scarlet as I try to keep my body covered by the bubbles in the tub. His lips press confidently against mine, and I giggle when he smiles brusquely into the kiss. I keep my eyes closed when he pulls away and I lean my head against the rim of the tub. The smile on my face is nearly permanent as his large hand brushes through my hair easily. He sighs softly, and tilts his head down so it’s resting on top of mine.

“When am I going to move in?” I whisper, almost bursting into a fit of giggles when his unshaven chin grazes across my cheek.

“Whenever you want, mon amour” He presses his lips against my cheek as he speaks calmly, his profound accent mixed with his hot breath tickling my face sends pleasant shivers down my spine. We sit there together for the longest time, not bothering to say any words. No words were necessary for this moment; I could just feel the love and kindness searing from his body.

Kristopher would never harm me deliberately.
****
“Are you almost ready?”

I jump at the strident voice; I hadn’t even heard Pascal come into my room. I nod my head, and glimpse back down at the photograph in my hands. My dad, Pascal, and I were all in the picture, Pascal obviously making an obnoxious face. It was one of my favourite pictures and it never failed to make me smile.

“Yeah, I just have a couple more things.” I reply, beaming up at him. I place the picture frame in a cardboard box, along with a few other things such as paintings and drawings.

“I can’t believe you’re really moving out.”

I peek up and I notice his eyes are sparkling, “Please don’t cry Pascal. I’m only a few miles away if you or the kids need anything. I’m never more than a phone call away.”

He laughs and wipes his eyes with his sleeves, “I can’t believe how much you have grown. I always knew you were emotionally tough, but I guess I never knew just how strong you were.” I pace frontward and enfold my arms around him, “I’m going to miss you petite fille”

I scowl lightheartedly at him, “I am not a little girl anymore.”

He ruffles my hair, “Come on, everyone is waiting outside.”

I grab the last cardboard box, and follow him out, only stopping when I get to the doorway. I rotate around and inspect my room one last time. It was a diminutive room, but it held a great amount of significance. It shows me just how much my uncle and aunt loves me, the fact that they took me into their care throughout my darkest days was still inconceivable to me. Not only did Pascal and Carole treat me so well, but the whole Penguins team had become my family. I had only been here for a few months, and I already felt like I belonged here.

I flip the switch on the wall, turning all of the lights off before making my way down the staircase. Just like Pascal said previously, everyone is waiting for me outside of Kristopher’s truck in the driveway. I place my last cardboard package in the bed of the truck.

“If you ever need anything you’re always welcomed back Sophia.” Carole pulls me into an embrace, which I swiftly return. She had become a mother to me, she was always so kind and never judged anyone based on their past. I hug all of the kids, promising to visit them on Saturday to watch some Disney movies and help with their homework. Kris stands next to the passenger side of the car, watching the scene unfurl with a grin on his face. He looks remarkably handsome today, his silky-smooth hair has been tucked away underneath a toque, and his facial hair is still growing steadily.

“Make sure she takes care of her arm, I know it’s only fractured, but it’s still very delicate. Also make sure she takes her painkillers in the morning and the evening, only two though. You should al-“

“Pascal!” I giggle as he starts to rant, “don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” I try to comfort him when he narrows his eyes at Kris.

His voice is now a tone I have never heard from him in my existence, he sounds like he’s nearly begging Kristopher, “Just… take good care of her… please.” He pauses for a moment and tries to be more threatening, “take care of her you stupid French fry!”

I snort, that was the least intimidating thing he could say.

Kristopher gives Pascal a reassuring nod, “Don’t worry, I will.” He meets my gaze, and smiles. I give everyone a hug again, and climb into the passenger seat with Frankie in my arms. Everyone waves at us as we start to drive away, except for Pascal who holds two fingers up to his eyes, and points them at Kristopher before mouthing the words, ‘I’m watching you’

“He sure does care about you” Kris says tenderly, grabbing my hand smoothly while keeping one hand on the steering wheel. His eyes are focused on the road, where it is starting to rain hard.

“Yeah, I guess I never realized it until recently”`

“Everyone does,” he chuckles, “you’re part of this Penguins’ family now.”

I snicker, “What a dysfunctional family.”

He laughs with me as we continue to drive in silence. I nearly whimper when we finally get to our destination. Sure, I had been to Kristopher’s house numerous times, but this is different.

This is my home now.
****
“Tired?” Kris asks when he catches me almost falling asleep on his bed.

I’m lying sideways on the large mattress, my legs dangling off the edge. I stifle a yawn, “No.”

“Why are you twirling your hair?” He points out.

I blush and hastily pull my fingers away from my hair. It was a bad habit I did whenever I was worn out, something Kristopher had caught onto a while ago. Kris and I had been unpacking my stuff for a couple hours and setting it all in proper places. To be honest, I didn’t have a lot of stuff. It was all typically clothing, pictures, paintings, and art materials.

“I’m a little tired actually,” I confess shyly, “what time is it?”

“Almost 7, I have some water boiling in the kitchen for pasta, and Frankie is passed out on the couch. He already thinks he owns the place.” He lies down next to me, and wraps his arms around me, he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, “you’re not regretting your decision are you?”

I giggle, “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

I feel his lips turn up into a smirk against my skin; his hand lowers to the hem of my top and pushes past it, his fingers rest against the flesh on my hip, “Just try to keep your tampons away from my stuff.”

I snort and pinch his cheek mischievously, “Fine, then keep your stinky equipment away from me.”

He laughs, “Mon Dieu, when did you become all sassy?”

I run a hand through his hair watching as his toque falls off, “my boyfriend is a hockey player.” I murmur, “I guess it’s part of the requirement”

“You don’t have to change just for me,” he lifts his head up to look me directly in the eye; “I don’t ever want you think you have to change just because of me.”

“I know I don’t have to… I think you’re starting to change me for the better though,” I pause for a split second and try to figure out what I’m going to say, “I used to be scared of everyone, scared that they would hurt me or leave me, that’s why it’s hard for me to get close to people. You helped me let other people in, and you showed me that there are kind people in the world. You were there for me through some of my darkest moments, and that meant the world to me.”

His brown eyes peer up at mine through his long eyelashes, “You really mean that? I helped you through all of that?” He sits up and supports all of his weight on his elbow; he’s now looking down at me with that signature crooked smirk on his face that I adore so much.

“Of course, I’ve never experienced this type of love you have shown me.” I reach out and lightly touch his arm; my hand relaxes against the tattoo on his bicep. Just like me, he’s lost someone that meant so much to him; we share the same type of pain and we have both experienced the aftermath of it all. We’re totally opposite, yet we’re completely the same.

He places a hand against my cheek and presses his forehead against mine, I watch as his eyes close. He’s gorgeous, even with the scars he has obtained from hockey and all of his facial hair. His lips suddenly bend into a smile when I run my hand through his hair, he could deny it all he wanted, but I knew he loved it when I played around with his hair.

“I just don’t want to let you down.” I murmur and try to avoid eye contact when his brown orbs are suddenly peering into my blue ones.

He presses a kiss to the spot below my eyebrow, “arrêter de penser l'ensemble de ces mauvaises pensées… you could never let me down, so don’t even think that.” He gets up from the bed, pulling me with him and nearly dragging me out of the room. I jump on his back when we get to the stairs, and he pretends to stumble around.

I giggle, “Aren’t you supposed to be strong, Mr. Hockey player?”

He flexes his arms as he grabs the back of my knees, “Please, I’m stronger than all of the guys on the team.”

I wrap my arms around his neck tighter and bury my face against the skin on his neck; his cologne is invigorating, “I don’t know, Jordan is pretty strong too.”

He shakes his head, “Jordan is tall, not strong.”

I laugh at his defensive tone, “I’m just kidding, Mr. Arrogant.”

He pouts, “I have all of these adorable nicknames for you, and all I get is Mr. Arrogant and Mr. Hockey player? You should work on that Soph.”

“How about Mr. Arrogant hockey player?”

He laughs loudly and it’s contagious, “That’s more like it.” We enter the kitchen, and he drops me carefully onto the marble island, and starts to set up dinner for us. I sit there in silence, watching as he makes the sauce for the spaghetti.

“I don’t think you’re arrogant.” I blurt out; my face turns red at the unexpected outburst.

He turns around and chuckles, “I know you’re just messing around Sophie, you’re allowed to make jokes you know.” He hands me a plate with three scoops of spaghetti and I nearly salivate at the sight.

“This looks so delicious” I hop off of the island and take a seat on one of the barstools, Kris smiles almost bashfully and sits across from me.

“I’m not the best cook, but I know how to make pasta at least.” He takes a bite out of the garlic bread.

“This is so good” I take in a mouthful of spaghetti and almost moan, my taste buds are having a celebration inside of my mouth.

He laughs, “I know how much you love your spaghetti… guess I’ll have to make it more often.”

“Oh my gosh you better not! I am going to gain so much weight if you do.”

“Wait until you meet my mom, she will stuff you until you feel like you’re about to explode.”

We eat in peace as we both shove our mouths with the delicious food. Every now and then we make eye contact, and smile at each other. After we’re finished eating he insists on doing the dishes regardless of my protests. So instead I go upstairs and change into my pajamas. It had been a long day and I was sure if I took another step I would collapse from exhaustion. I pull the tie that is holding my hair up in a messy bun, and crawl into the huge bed. I can’t imagine how lonesome it would be to sleep in this bed with no one else to hold you. I haul the comforter up to my chin, taking in the faint smell of cologne and laundry detergent.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Kristopher asks when he walk into the room.

“Sure, I’m not ready to go to sleep yet.” I throw the comforter off of my body, and walk to his entertainment stand where he has a ton of movies. Most of them are typical movies a guy would watch The Hangover, Superbad, Slapshot, Miracle, and a lot more. I grab a movie and pop it into the DVD player before skipping back to the bed and jumping under the covers. Kris follows me and I noticed he has changed his jeans for a pair of sweats. He pulls his shirt over his head before getting in bed next to me, and my breath gets caught in my throat. I had seen him shirtless numerous times, but his muscles never failed to take my breath away, and don’t even get me started on that tattoo.

“I didn’t picture you to be a Rocky Balboa person.” He chuckles when the title display for the movies pops up.

“I love Rocky. Pascal and I would always watch them together, and he would always cheer for the bad guys, even though Rocky always won.” I curl up against his body as he presses the play button on the remote. He wraps his arms around me, and rubs my back soothingly. Most of the fight scenes and jokes are incredibly corny, but it remains one of my favourite movies to this day. The first four movies were always the best, the fifth and sixth were just dreadful. I’m starting to doze off, I sink against Kristopher’s warm body, and I hear him laugh softly.

“bonne nuit mon amour”
****
“Jesus, when did that girl learn how to skate so fast?” Vero exclaims as Max and Sophia whiz past the bench we’re all sitting at. Everyone is watching the two friends’ race each other with smiles on their faces, even Coach Dan and Mario Lemieux are watching with amused smirks on their faces.

“I’m pretty sure Pascal and Kris have been taking her skating like every day” Jordan snorts and shakes his head.

It had been only a week since Sophia moved in with me, and we couldn’t be any happier. It was one of the greatest feelings in the world to come home and not be alone. Even when I had away games she never complained when I came home in the wee hours of the morning due to a delayed flight. Instead, she slept unwearyingly in our bed, always bundled up in one of my hoodies and the heavy comforter that she loves so much.

“You cheater!” Sophia yells when Max sticks his leg out, causing her to trip and slide down the ice on her stomach. She scowls and quickly gets up, chasing after him and using all of her strength to push him into the boards.

“Ouch! Mon Dieu, has Kris been giving you fighting lessons too?”

She giggles and skates away from him, plopping down on the bench next to me and Pascal. I notice a tiny frown appear on her face as she presses her hand against her forehead. She looks kind of pale, and I notice her hands are shaking.

“Hey, are you alright?” I ask her quietly. Pascal looks up; a worried expression crosses his face when he sees the state Sophia is in. I pull her close to me, and press my hand against her cheek. Her skin is smoldering hot against my hand.

“My head kind of hurts.” She murmurs

Pascal glances at me, and I can tell he’s holding something back from me. His eyes contain distress and trepidation, and I know that it’s more than a headache.

All those times her stepfather had hit her and slammed her head against hard surfaces...

My thoughts are cut off when Sophia doubles over in pain. Everyone watches noiselessly, and I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her up with me, I make the decision to take her to the team’s doctor to see what’s wrong. Pascal stands up with me, and I hear Maeva sniffle.

“What’s wrong with Aunt Sophia, daddy?”

“It’s okay sweetheart, she’s just not feeling well.” He lies; he knows it’s worse than that.

How much brain damage can she possibly have?