Breathe Me

“You almost done?”

I look up in time to see Kristopher leaning against the door frame; arms crossed and eyebrows raised expectantly. I pout and try to zip my overflowing suitcase shut. I refused to take more than two suitcases back to Montreal and was currently attempting to stuff all of my clothes into the second one. Kris shakes his head in disbelief as I finally tug the zipper so it’s closed, muttering some nonsense about how women always pack too much. I lean back against the bed frame, and glance around the nearly empty room. Kris walks forward and sits next to me on the floor, taking everything in with me. I knew he was still upset about the Penguins losing in the playoffs against Tampa Bay, but he was really starting to accept the situation and had also come to terms that the Pens can’t always win every game they play.

He stares at my facial features for a few moments, “Are you sad we’re leaving?”

He knew I was a little sad, but not because they were leaving Pittsburgh for the summer. I was sad because we wouldn’t see some of the guys over summer because they were being traded to another team. Kristopher noticeably remembered how I had reacted when Max told me that in all likelihood, he wouldn’t be back with the Penguins next season. I felt as though I had been stabbed in the heart, and it took everything in my power to not burst into tears at that moment.

“A little,” I answer truthfully, “I mean this place has become a home to me, it’s going to be strange being back in Montreal.”

“It’s weird isn’t it? How everything can change in just a few months.” He glances at one of the walls, where the drawing of Luc and him that I got him as a gift for Christmas is framed and hanging on the wall.

“It is,” I agree with a nod, “I’m glad it did though.”

I recall the moment I had first arrived in Pittsburgh, how terrified I was. Pascal had amiably taken me into his care on a whim; I knew I could never express my gratitude for all that he has done for me. He provided me with protection and gave me a new family. Then there was Kristopher; the man who changed me for the better. I knew from the very beginning I had met him, Kristopher Letang was different from any other man that I have ever met. He’s affectionate, funny, considerate, and he gives the best hugs. I know there’s no such thing as perfection; but Kristopher is pretty damn close to it.

I rest my head on his shoulder and conceal my face into the crook of his neck, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. My eyes close just for a few seconds, trying to take this moment to truly absorb everything into my brain. This isn’t just a dream; I’m not going to wake up in my old bedroom to Ryan trying to beat me or rape me, or to my mom shooting up heroin in the corner of the kitchen. I didn’t have to live my life in fear of what troubles tomorrow might bring, or who’s going to hurt me next.

‘It’s over…’

Kris wraps his powerful arms around me, the facial hair on his chin scratches against the top of my head, and I cherish the simple gesture.

He kisses my cheek adoringly, “Are you scared?”

“Of what?”

He merely shrugs, “Everything I guess… I know this is all new for you; spending the summer together, most likely alone most of the time.” He grins and tries to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m actually not scared… you are going to be with me, right?”

He nods, “Then I have nothing to be afraid of.” I murmur and my fingers play with the pendant that hangs down from my neck.

His lips skim over the base of my throat, and I feel the blood rush to my face, “What about being back in Montreal? Do you think that’s going to bring back some bad memories?”

“Probably,” I sigh and run my hand through his silky hair as his teeth sink into the sensitive flesh on my shoulder, “It’s definitely going to be tough being there… but I’ll get through the pain like I always do.”

“And I’ll be with you every step of the way, so if you ever feel like crying you know I’ll be there to hold you.” He assures me soothingly.

“I know,” I whisper softly, “You always are.”

He lifts his head, and his solicitous, profound eyes stare into mine. I lift my hand up and touch his cheek with my fingertips; the skin is smooth and sweltering hot all at the same time. It’s a horrendously blistering day in Pittsburgh; well into the upper 90’s and even though we have central air conditioning in the house, we’re still victims of the remorseless heat. We both sit on the floor of the bedroom for nearly half an hour, taking everything in; Kris’ hand carelessly rubs against my back comfortingly the whole time.

“It’s time to leave.” He finally says when his cell phone buzzes; an alarm he had set last night so we wouldn’t forget. He gently tugs my wrist and pulls me up from the wooden floor. Frankie trots into the room gleefully and stares up at both of us; wagging his imaginary tail.

“Oh, we didn’t forget about you cutie pie!” I speak in a baby voice and pick up the restless puppy, Kristopher watches and rolls his eyes lightheartedly. He picks up my suitcases effortlessly, and I notice his biceps flex underneath his grey v-neck. It’s hard to just disregard his muscles; he’s almost like a machine and I could never comprehend why anyone would want to even think about fighting him on the ice. Ryan’s battered face runs through my mind, and I remember when Geno told me how furious he had been that night in the club.

But I remember how safe I had felt in his arms that night.

We exit the house and into the scorching heat, locking everything down in the process.

“Alright,” Kris says when he stuffs my suitcases next to his in the back of the truck, wiping the sweat off his forehead, “Are you sure that’s everything?”

“Positive,” I scratch the top of Frankie’s head, “Are we ready to leave?”

“I am,” He says with that crooked smirk of his, “Are you?”

I bite my lip, and glance back towards the house, “Yeah,” I whisper, “I’m ready.”

We both get into the truck, and Kris quickly flicks on the air; chuckling when Frankie sticks his face in front of the vents. I watch the house disappear as Kristopher drives down the street; I can’t find the strength to speak, and I have no idea why I’m so emotional all of a sudden. I stare out the window as we drive further and further away from Pittsburgh until we’re in the outskirts of the large city. I glance back, taking in all of the tall buildings that I had become so well acquainted with.

Kris offers me a smile, “Don’t be sad, Sophia. It’s going to be a great summer, I promise.”

I smiled back, not only because I knew he was right, but also because I was excited to spend it with him.

Just another step in our journey together.