Breathe Me

Saturday could not come soon enough for me. I had been looking forward to it since the moment Kris invited me to his hockey game.

The second I had walked out of the locker room,Pascal had started teasing me.

“You've only been in Pittsburgh for two days,and guys are already bowing down at your feet,I guess good looks just run in the family”

“Then what happened to you?”

“Oh I see how it is Sophie! Jealous of my mad skills”

The argument went on the whole ride home,and even at home,where he eventually won.

Despite feeling excited,I also felt tired. I hadn't been able to sleep good these past few days. Gruesome nightmares still plagued my mind. I guess you can't call them nightmares though. They were memories,seeing my dad die,my mom yelling curses at me,and worse of all,the painful beatings I received daily.

I would wake up in the middle of the night,salty tears pouring out of my tired eyes. No matter how hard I tried,I just couldn't forget about all of the pain this man had caused me.

I wondered if I would ever heal. Maybe I would find that special person someday,who would make me feel beautiful and loved. Someone who could heal my bruised heart,and look past all of the nasty scars on my body.

I smiled at the the thought,even though it seemed absurd.

“Aunt Sophia,can you help me with my homework?” Maeva asked. She really was a sweetheart

“Of course Maeva”
****
“Hey Tanger! Are you coming to Duper's for dinner?” Max Talbot asked the young defenceman

“I don't know,I just want to go 'ome and take a nap” he replied,tired from today's rough practice.

Max shrugged, “Okay...Sophia was going to be there though. Probably helping with dinner.” He started wiggling his eyebrows.

“I might go...I am kind of hungry”

“Thought so”

Kris sighed as the superstar roared with laughter.

It seemed like everyone on the team knew about his attraction with the quiet French-Canadian girl. He honestly didn't think he was making it so obvious. He never showed his emotions like some of the other guys. He had always been the type to keep everything in,not wanting anybody to know just how vulnerable he was.

But this girl,she made him feel these emotions he had never felt before. He wanted to tell her everything about his life,he wanted to know everything about her. She was like a mystery,he just wanted to solve her. Figure out her past,and fix her.

She walked into his life,and everything seemed so much brighter. She was like a burst of sunshine,yet she was so calm and peaceful. She was only 20,but I could tell she was so much more mature than that. It was obvious she had been through a lot. He was determined to get that sparkle in her eyes

Those blue eyes,those amazing blue eyes always held a strong sense of depression. Even though her lips would be smiling,her eyes were completely different. He found himself wondering what had happened to her to make her the way she is today,what caused those blue eyes to be filled with that much sadness and pain.

“You coming or not Tanger?” Max asked cutting off his thoughts. He merely nodded and followed the superstar out into the parking lot.

As he got closer to the large house,he felt his heart pound in his chest. He longed to see the girl again. To see her beautiful face,and hear her angelic voice.

'this is ridiculous,I have never been this nervous just to see a girl'

Max and I arrived at the house at the same time,not bothering to knock since all of the other guys were there. I prayed that I would see her,that she wasn't up in her room hiding.

My prayers were answered when I saw her sitting on one of the many couches in the play room, a sketch pad sitting on her lap as she drew and listened to her ipod.

She seemed even more beautiful than I remembered. It had only been three days since that last time I had seen her. I had been going crazy those three days.

'You don't even know her'

Max nudged me towards her, “Go get her tiger” he said laughing. I rolled my eyes,he really was too much sometimes.

I sat on the couch,she finally looked up at me,taking her earbuds out of her ears,and setting her pencil down.

“Hey”

she gave me a tiny smile. I could tell something was wrong immediately. She had been crying. Her eyes seemed darker than he remembered,and she could barely force a fake smile. I wanted to hug her,kiss her,comfort her,anything to make her happy.

'She's not yours idiot'

“Hi Kris”

“ 'Ow are you?”
****
'horrible,exhausted,hungry.'

I fought back the urge to say my thoughts out loud as he asked the simple question. Instead I gave him a tiny smile.

“I'm fine”

'lies'

“That's good”

We talked for a few more. Well,mostly he asked me questions,and I would reply with one or two words. I actually felt bad,here was this nice man,just trying to get to know me better,and I was being my old depressed self.

“How do you like it here so far?”

“I like it, I am not really used to being in a big city. It's definitely a big change”

I struggled with my words. I hadn't been speaking English for that long,and I still had trouble pronouncing my words correctly. My heavy accent and quiet voice usually made it hard for people to understand me,but Kris seemed to know everything I was saying.

“It gets easier” I gave him a confused look,but he continued, “When you're trying to learn English,it's hard at first,but it gets easier. I still have trouble sometimes too”

“Well at least people can understand you. 'Alf the time nobody knows what I am saying”

“Don't worry,you'll get it soon. You just need to practice more” He gave me a reassuring smile before asking me if I was still going to the game on Saturday

“Of course. I wouldn't miss it...I might need to borrow one on Pascal's jerseys though”

“You could always 'ave one of mine. I wouldn't mind”

I looked into his dark brown orbs,it was like he was begging me to wear his jersey to the game. As I looked into his puppy dog eyes,I realized I couldn't say no.

He was the sweetest guy I had ever met,and I wondered why he didn't have a girlfriend. Surely any girl would be blessed to have Kris as a boyfriend.

A depressing thought suddenly crossed my mind. What if he was only being nice to me because he felt bad for me? Taking pity on the depressed girl just to mess with me.

'This is dangerous'

I was starting to trust a man I had only known for a few days. I couldn't even trust my own family,people who had known me for all of my life,let alone a man I haven't even known for a week. He was practically a stranger,I knew nothing about him. How could I trust a stranger?

“If you don't want to that's okay.” Kris said quietly,cutting off my thoughts.

“No it's okay,I want to wear your jersey” The words came out before I could process them,and I blushed softly.

He was now smiling, “Vero will bring you to my house before the game,I will give you the jersey there. Is that okay?”

“Sounds great” I smiled back.

“Dinner is ready boys!” Aunt Carole called from the kitchen.

The playroom suddenly sounded like a stampede of elephants who were all competing for food. Max and Jordan fought the most as they raced to the kitchen.

“I was here first!”

“Move it or lose it short shit!”

“Who're you calling short you fucking sasquatch!”

“Girls dig tall guys!”

“Too bad you have a small-”

“Will you guys shut up! Where are your manners? Come here Sophia”

Aunt Carole gave me a warm smile,waving me over. I shyly squished in between Max and Jordan,who seemed to be taking up the most space in the kitchen. She put 3 scoopfuls of Spaghetti on my plate,and handed me a fork before giving me a warm smile.

“You remembered?” I whispered quietly,not really wanting the other guys to hear.

“Of course,how could anybody forget how much you love spaghetti? You used to eat it like it was the end of the world” Everyone in the kitchen laughed at my embarrassed face.

'god I love it here'
****
“Are you sure I look okay Vero?”

It was now Saturday,I was sitting in the bathroom at Vero's and Marc-Andre's lovely house. I was just going to a hockey game,obviously I wasn't going to dress up all formal,but I didn't want to look too plain.

“You look just fine mon ami! Kris is going to think you're beautiful” She grinned

“Not me...He probably sees a lot more prettier women” I said it quietly,hoping she wouldn't hear,but I think she did when I saw her frown.

“Are you ready to go? Kris is probably going crazy” Vero laughed.

The car ride wasn't very long,Kris lived pretty close to Marc-Andre. In about 10 minutes we arrived at a house. It wasn't huge like most of the other guy's houses. It was just a simple two story light brown house,with an auburn coloured door.

Vero walked in,not bothering to knock. I nervously followed behind her. There was no sign of Kris,as we walked into the living room. Vero stood there frozen for a moment.

“KRIIIS WE'RE HERE GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED BEFORE I DRAG YOU OUT MYSELF AND EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF SOPHIA!!”

She nearly gave me a heart attack as she screamed out the threats. It worked though,because in no time,Kris was rushing down the stairs,obviously tired as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Umm hey” He gave me a nervous little smile,and glared at Vero,who looked back at him innocently.

“I 'ave a jersey in my room,follow me”. He still sounded half asleep,and I understood why when we got to his room. His bed looked like the comfiest thing on this earth. His sheets were crumpled,not having time to tidy up before we got here. His room was suprisingly clean,only a few articles of clothing littered the floor. I looked over at his desk where a lot of pictures were scattered all over the surface. Some with his family,others with friends,but only one caught my attention. The picture was of him,and his best friend Luc Bourdon. I knew who he was,everyone who loves hockey knew who he was. I noticed how happy Kris looked,and I suddenly felt sad. I knew how he felt,how devastating it was to lose someone so special. There's no words to even describe it.

“Will this work?”

I looked over at Kris,who had just walked out of the closet, a #58 Letang jersey in his hands.

“It's perfect”

I pulled the oversized jersey over my hoodie,taking comfort in its warmth. It smelled like laundry detergent,and cologne.

“I guess I should go now. Thanks for the jersey” I smiled up at him,noticing our height difference.

“Yeah,I'll see you at the game” We stood there for a few more moments,smiling shyly at each other,before I finally walked out of the room,leaving him alone once again. I was genuinely smiling for the first time in a long time,Vero noticed this,and grinned at me.

“Ahh young love how cute”
****
When we arrived at the arena,the stands had already seemed to fill out. Vero guided me to our seats,right next to the penalty box,where a hairy guy sat next to me in an Ovechkin jersey. I looked over at Vero,who just shrugged with a smirk on her face.

Vero took a huge bite of her cotton candy as we waited for the game to start.

'so that's where she gets all of her energy from...'

The lights dimmed,and everyone started to cheer as the Pittsburgh Penguins skated onto the ice. I immediately spotted my uncle,skating with Matt Cooke.

Then I noticed Kris. He was skating by himself,concentrating on the ice. I wondered what he was thinking about that caused him to be so focused. He skated in front of where Vero and I were sitting,looking up in time to meet my eyes. I blushed and quickly looked down at my shoes. I could hear Vero laughing at me.

“AND NOW,THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS!”

Boos immediately erupted from the crowd,except for a few fans who were obnoxiously cheering,including the drunkard sitting next to me.

The first period started off slowly,Sidney tried to take a few shots with no luck,

“Ovechkin passes the puck to Laich,HE SHOOTS! Oh and it bounces off Marc-Andre Fleury's goal post”

Vero and I let out sighs of relief,before letting out screams of excitement as we watched Max pass the puck to Kris,who shot the puck as hard as he could,making it touch the back of the net. We jumped up and down happily,Vero grabbed my cheeks painfully.

“YOUR BOYFRIEND JUST SCORED A GOAL OH MY GOD” She yelled it loudly causing the people surrounding us to give us weird looks.

She chuckled nervously and sat back down when I glared at her.
****
It was third period and the score was tied 2-2,there were only five minutes left in the period,and pittsburgh was currently on Power Play with 50 seconds left. Vero had been gripping my hand tightly,every time someone would come close to marc-Andre she would spazz out and nearly rip my hand off.

“Sidney is in control of the puck! HE SHOOTS HE SCORES!!”

Everyone shot out of their seats,cheering as Sidney scored his first goal of the night,while Caps fans just sat in their seats,not looking happy at all. I laughed hard as Vero pointed and laughed at the Caps fan sitting next to me

“OVECHTRICK?! MORE LIKE OVECHICKEN” I laughed even harder at the guys shocked face.

“Come on Sophia let's go see the guys” She looped her arm through mine as we walked through the corridors of the Consol Energy Center.

“You guys better not be naked! We're coming in.” Vero shouted as she cracked the door open. We both walked into the chaotic smelly room.

Before I could even walk three steps,I was tackled by a huge sweaty man.

“Eww Pascal get off of me. You smell like crap” Despite the horrid smell,I let out a loud giggle.
****
It was the first time I heard her laugh,and it was like a beautiful melody to my ears. It was loud,not obnoxiously loud though. It was just right,and just like her smile,it was contagious. Soon enough,a lot of the guys were laughing along with her. Pascal told her something,and she nodded before looking around the room,and finally spotting me. She smiled and walked over,looking down at her shoes. My jersey looked huge on her small frame,but she didn't seem to care.

“Congratulations on the goal”

“Thanks,it was just a lucky shot...”

She raised her eyebrows and looked at me skeptically.

“I should be going,Pascal wanted to go home”

“Sophie,do you think I can uh...get your phone number?” He suddenly felt shy,but she smiled once again,taking his breath away.

“Yeah here's my cell phone”

We exchanged numbers,both smiling like teenagers who were crazy in love.

“I'll call you soon Sophie,maybe when can go get an ice-cream or something tomorrow?”

ice-cream? In the middle of December? Nice one Tanger'

“That sounds great,call me tomorrow.bye Kristopher,I'll see you later.” She grinned at me one last time before walking out the door. All the guys started teasing me,but nothing could bring down my mood. I was actually happy for the first time in a long time.

Don't be afraid
What your mind conceives
You should make a stand
Stand up for what you believe
And tonight
We can truly say
Together we're invincible