Breathe Me

It was 1 in the morning and I was still wide awake. I couldn't get the image of her sad eyes out of my mind. When she told me about her dad,sure she said it like she was fine,but god her eyes held so many other emotions. It was scary to me. The look in her eyes reminded me so much of myself after Luc had died.

I could tell there was so much more to that though. She had been through a lot,even after her dad died. Someone had hurt her tremendously,and I wanted to know who so I could beat the living shit out of them. Pascal hadn't told me much about her. Only that she had been having a rough time at home. Pascal was hiding something though,every time someone would ask about Sophia he would change the subject immediately.

I rolled onto my side,desperately trying to clear my mind. My eyes closed,and I remembered the feeling of her in my arms. It was by far the best feeling in the world. The way her body molded perfectly with mine. She had rested her head on my chest,right above my heart and I had prayed she wouldn't hear it pounding. She smelled like honey and milk,which surprised me. Most women I had dated in the past drenched themselves in strong perfume. But then again she wasn't like most women.

I finally fell asleep 30 minutes later,thoughts of Sophia still running through my mind.
****

Pascal had noticed my change of emotions ever since I had gotten home last night. I was in a content mood as I sat at the kitchen table,eating my eggs and bacon aunt Carole had made for the family.

“You never told me about your date Aunt Sophia!”

I looked over at Maeva,blushing as I replied “It wasn't a date it was just lunch...”

“A lunch that lasted 6 hours? I don't think so” Pascal said with a smug look on his face.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he did the same to me. Except he still had food in his mouth.

“Pascal that's disgusting!” Aunt Carole scolded him as the children giggled.

He grinned “You still love me and you know it”

Aunt Carole smiled softly as she shook her head at my uncle.
****

“I think he likes you Sophie! I really do”

I gave Vero a skeptical look as she went on and on about how Kris and I would look adorable together. We were currently sitting in the bleachers on the Energy Consol Centre,watching the guys stretch. I glanced over at Pascal who kept pushing Kris around. I rolled my eyes at him,he was always harassing Kris.

“I don't think he does Vero...”

She suddenly looked at me concerned,noticing the sadness in my voice.

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are a beautiful young woman,and any guy would be lucky to have you. I know Kris can be a little intimidating sometimes,but he really is a sweetheart and when he's around you,I notice a change in his personality. He goes from being all quiet and shy,to a totally different person. He becomes happy,and I see this light in his eyes that I haven't seen since...Luc was still around”

My heart started beating hard in my chest at Vero's serious words. “You really think so? You think he likes me?” My words came out quietly.

Vero grinned at me, “I know so”

After practice ended, Vero and I decided to meet the guys at a restaurant for lunch. The restaurant was fairly quiet,and I tried to savour the quiet,knowing it wasn't going to last long when 20 other hockey players arrived.

I was right. The guys hadn't even entered the restaurant,and they were already making a scene. It was quite hilarious actually. However,the owners of the restaurant seemed less than amused as 20 huge,sweaty men entered the small restaurant.

Jordan sat next to me,and I suddenly felt intimidated. I probably looked tiny compared to his 6'4 figure.

“Hey there kid!”

I narrowed my eyes at him “You're only 2 years older than me”

He grinned and playfully tugged at the bow on my beanie,I scowled at him and swatted his hand away.

“Hey look your boyfriend is here” He gestured towards the front of the restaurant grinning.

“Jordan shut up before I kick you in the balls” Vero said,obviously annoyed,

Max snorted and nearly choked on his soda before busting out laughing along with the rest of the table. The scared look on Jordan's face made me giggle.

I glanced up,to see a pair of dark brown eyes staring back at me,everything seemed like a blur as I looked into Kris's tired eyes. He looked extremely exhausted and I wondered if he had gotten any sleep last night. Marc interrupted our staring contest when he asked Kris a question,but my eyes stayed on him.

“What are you going to get Sophie?” Jordan asked

“A burger I guess”

He busted out laughing at my accent, “Booger?”

I chuckled,but inside I was completely embarrassed. I was starting to really hate my accent,it was hard for people to understand me,or they would usually tease me about it. Even back in Quebec people would always make fun of my quiet voice.

'It's always going to be the same' I thought to myself bitterly.

I would never fit in,especially here,with a bunch of loud hockey players. I was terribly shy and there was no way they would ever accept me. I looked down at my lap,playing with the bracelet Pascal had got me 5 years ago. I could feel some of the guys staring at me,but I ignored them,scared that they might see the sadness or fear in my eyes.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I quickly took it out,reading the text.

'You ok?'

I glanced up to see Kris staring at me with worried eyes.

'Yea i'm fine,don't worry about me :)'
****

I could tell she was lying when she said she was fine,but I didn't say anything. I noticed how quiet Pascal had gotten,and how he would narrow his eyes at Jordan after he made fun of her accent.

The rest of the table was too engrossed in their own activities to notice what was going on. I looked across the table and noticed the disgusted look on Vero's face,and immediately understood as I watched Geno's girlfriend,Oksana,rub herself all over a scared Max. I never understood why he stayed with her,she always flirted with everyone on the team.

However the whole table got dead quiet when Vero spoke,and I saw Sophia's eyes go wide as Vero talked to the blonde Russian

“Hey Oksana,stop whoring around with Max, and while you are at it,put on a real shirt. I don't think Geno really appreciates you showing off your fake tits to everyone”

Jordan started coughing hard,and I thought he was going to choke on his food. Vero didn't seem to care as Oksana gave her a death glare.

“Whatever I don't have to take this shit from you,fat whore”

Marc's eyes went huge,and he quickly slapped his hand over Vero's mouth,muffling her voice as she screamed profanities at the Russian.

I don't think I have ever seen Geno so scared before. He looked lost as he looked between Marc and Oksana. Marc looked pissed,something that rarely happened to the happy goalie.

“Uhh we leave now. Come Oksana” Geno didn't sound very happy as he stood up from his seat,and the table seemed more relieved as the couple walked out of the restaurant. Marc tried to calm Vero down,who looked she was going to run out of the restaurant and murder Oksana.

“Welp. That was awkward. Hey frenchie are you going to eat the rest of that?” Jordan asked pointing to Sophia's plate,where half a burger sat on her plate.

She smirked before taking a huge bite of it.

“Yup”

“Come on,don't be a fattie” He whined.

“Dude she's tiny. She can eat whatever she wants” Sidney said,butting into the conversation.

“No that burger will go straight to her thighs,and then she will go crazy and start eating everything,and that flat stomach of hers? Yeah it won't be so flat anymore”

“Sounds like you have experienced this before” Sidney said grinning

Sophia let out a loud laugh,and I found myself smiling. She just had that effect on me. I could be having a tough day,and the second she laughs, my day would instantly be brighter.

I didn't know what had gotten into me. I felt confident,and I mustered up some courage as I looked over at Sophia. A huge smile was on her face,as Pascal kept playfully nudging her,begging for food. She looked up at me,her blue orbs sparkling.

“Sophie do you want to go for a walk?”

The table looked at her as I asked the question,she seemed surprised,but she nodded her head.

“Yeah, sure”

I looked back at Vero and Pascal before we walked out of the restaurant,they were both grinning at me like idiots and I shook my head at them, smiling to myself.
****

It was snowing lightly as we walked around the park,and I was glad I had dressed warmly for the cold weather. Kris and I walked mostly in silence,but it was comfortable to me.

“So what are you doing for Christmas?” I asked

He seemed kind of sad as he answered “I don't really know actually. We don't get any time off this year,so I don't get to see my family.”

“You could always spend Christmas with us!” He looked at me surprised as I spoke excitedly.

“I wouldn't want to intrude on your guy's Christmas”

“You won't,I promise. Besides Aunt Carole loves you,I know she won't mind”

He looked at the ground,taking my offer into consideration.

“You really wouldn't mind? I don't know if Pascal would-”

“Don't worry Pascal won't mind. I will make sure he is on his best behaviour. Plus nobody should be alone on Christmas” I said the last part softly.

“Well if you guys don't mind then,I would love to spend Christmas with the Dupuis family” He laughed,making me smile.

We sat on a cold wooden bench,and watched as kids built snowmen,or threw snowballs at each other. In the middle of it all there was a frozen pond,where a little girl was being taught how to play hockey,her dad coaching her as she skated around the ice.

I sighed “I wish I had a pencil and paper right now”

“When did you start drawing?” Kris asked curiously

“I was about 8 when I started to actually get interested. High School is when I really started to get into it though. That was all I ever wanted to do,write music and draw.”

Kris looked surprised, “You write music?”

“Well,not anymore really. I used to play the guitar,and... I don't really know. A lot of stuff started happening and I just couldn't find any inspiration anymore”

He nodded,not really knowing what to say.

“But when I am drawing or painting everything seems so much...better. You know? Like I don't have to worry about anything,it's just me and that piece of paper. And I can express how I am feeling or what's going on in my head. I know it probably sounds bad... but without art I would probably be really depressed right now. I mean so much has been going on,and I just need something to distract me from everything.”

“I completely understand. I honestly don't know where I would be without hockey. After Luc's death,I was horrible. I wouldn't really talk about it to anybody and I wouldn't let my friends help me. When I play hockey though,I feel like Luc is up there watching over me cheering me on. That's why I try so hard,I just want to make him proud”

I smiled at him “I bet he is so proud of you Kris”

Kris suddenly wrapped his arms around me,pulling me tightly against his body

“Thank you Sophia” He murmured into my hair.

I nodded,deciding not to say anything to ruin this moment.

His fingers lightly brushed against the skin under my coat and shirt,and I immediately giggled.

He grinned “Ticklish eh?”

“Nooo!!”

He laughed loudly as he continued to tickle me. I was laughing so hard my ribs started to hurt.

“K-kris please. My ribs h-hurt” I could barely get the words out of my mouth as I tried not to laugh.

“Okay okay. I'm sorry” He chuckled,and kissed my cheek.

I giggled “I forgive you Kristopher”

He gave me a precious smile and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I scooted in closer to his warm body,and rested my head on his chest,like I had the night before. The material of his coat was very soft,and his cologne was comforting to me.

'Please let Vero be right about him liking me'
****

That familiar feeling ran through me as she curled up against me like a kitten. I could feel her tiny figure shivering slightly,and I held her closer to me,not wanting her to be cold. The sweet aroma of her shampoo took over my sense of smell,and my urge to kiss her was stronger than ever. I knew that would scare her though. I had only known her for a little more than a week. I felt like I had known her for a long time though. I was completely comfortable around her,and I wasn't scared to talk to her about anything.

She hadn't told me about her past,except for he dad,and I was okay with that. I hoped one day that she could trust me enough though. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to know who hurt her,and I wanted to protect her.

It started to snow harder,and Sophia giggled trying to bury her head further into my coat. My heart pounded in my chest. The little kids started to scream as the snow started to come down hard.

“Come on,I'll take you home” I said softly into her ear.

She sat there for another moment though. She moved her head to the side,and looked up at me. The butterflies started flapping up a hurricane in my stomach as her blue eyes bore into mine. She wasn't sad,but her eyes held another emotion. Happiness. She sat up straighter,and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. She bit her lip,gave me a smile,and reluctantly got up. I closed my eyes,and tried to calm myself down.

I was falling in love for the first time in my life.

Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.