Wake Up

Its been a good month at lest I honestly have lost track of the time. I still can't open my eyes, I'm still not able move and every hour a nurse would come in to check on me. But they would never say anything, if they would say anything at all it would be " oh my," or " no change."

Adrienne comes to see me every day, and I feel so bad for her. Some days she thinks I'm dead, and others she thinks I'm two steps away from being dead when in reality I know I'm ok. I can feel every touch, I smell her perfume, I listen close when she speaks to me. I can only hope that she doesn't give up on me, I know I can pull my self out of this but how?

Adrienne stays with me every other night, and she talks to me; and she fills me in on what I'm missing.

(80) - " The boys miss you Billie, Jakob asks about you all the time."

I answer her even though I know she can't hear me.

(Me) - " I miss them to baby, really? Tell him dad is coming home really soon."

God I wish I could just give her some sign that I'm listening to her. But in a weird way Adrienne and I have been able to communicate threw the years with out having to really talk. So in my heart I know she understands me.

(80) - " I try and tell him you will be home soon, and Joey is trying to be strong about everything but he wont talk to me really. He just asks when your coming home and when I tell him soon he goes back up to his room and I don't see him for hours. I don't know how much longer I can lie to him Billie."

See I told you, me and her think alike.

(Me) - " Baby, don't lie to him, he is old enough to understand, but I am going to get better and I'm going to come home to my family."

I hate hearing my baby so stressed, and I hate just laying here and not showing her any sign of life. I then felt her lay beside me and she softly put her head in between my neck and my shoulder. Every night for 16 year she would lay there and I would just hold her close and whisper in her ear I love her.

But only this time she did the opposite and whispered into my ear " I love you Billie, and I wont give up on you."

I thought to my self, I never thought you would.