Let Me Be The One To Save You

When New Years came along I decided I’d do the whole “New year, new me” thing. I spent more time with my Jersey friends, especially Frank and Gerard - my new best friends. I broke up with Aidan on January 2nd. He had become jealous of my new friends and was not the boy I had first fallen for. It was time for me to move on with my life. My life was now in New Jersey. Ireland had become merely the place I associated with childhood memories and Fergal.

“C’mon C! Snap out of it, we’re here!” Frank’s excited voice brought me back to reality and to the small van we were crushed into.

We were all heading to a local bar for My Chemical Romance’s first ‘real’ gig. Everyone was excited and I couldn’t wait to see my boys perform in front of a bigger audience that just me.

“I’m coming,” I muttered, climbing out of the small white van and stretching my back until it popped.

The five guys had already gotten out and were talking to their brand new manager, Brian. Frank was practically bouncing with excitement and a nervous Bob looked ready to punch him.

“C’mon Frankie, let’s start carrying the equipment inside,” I practically the short boy away from the group before Bob could hurt him and leave the guys without a rhythm guitarist for their set.



My heart was pounding and my mouth felt like someone had dragged sandpaper against it. I was nervous for the guys. I wanted them to do well. I wanted people to appreciate their music and like it. I wanted people to see what I saw when I watched them perform.

Gerard waved to me as they set up and Frankie blew me a kiss. I smiled and waved at them both before sitting down at the bar, keeping the small stage in sight.
The bar we were at was not the nicest. It was dirty and dingy with sleazy men lurking in every corner. The furniture looked like it had seen better days with cigarette burns and beer stains covering everything. It would not have been my first choice of venue but it was a gig, and a surprising amount of teens were there for the live music.

“Hey guys,” Gerard into his microphone. “We’re My Chemical Romance and this song is called Vampires Will Never Hurt You.”

I sang along with the now familiar lyrics and watched the dark-haired teen rock out with his best friends. All I wanted to do was enjoy their music exactly as I would if I was in Frankie’s basement.

A few minutes into their set someone sat down on the stool beside me. I glanced at them from the corner of my eye and was nearly knock breathless. Sat beside me was a boy so gorgeous he could give Johnny Depp a run for his money. He smiled at me when caught my eyes and I blushed fiercely, quickly returning my gaze to my friends on stage.

Gerard caught my eye from atop the stage and grinned, “This song is a slow one and I’m gonna dedicate it to my best friend, Ciara. This one’s for you Sugar. It’s Early Sunset Over Monroeville.”

He blew me a kiss and all eyes in the bar turned to me. I just smiled and the returned the gesture as the beautiful soft into began to play.

“So you know the band?”

I turned to face the handsome guy beside me and nodded, “They’re my best friends.”

He nodded and smiled. Again I was nearly knocked breathless. He really was unbelievably handsome. The hair that flicked out were it reached the collar of his shirt was the colour of beautiful sandy beach, the chocolate brown eyes that glittered in the dim bar lights and the set of perfect white teeth - he was pretty much perfect.

“I’m James by the way,” He told me.

“Ciara,” I mumbled shyly, it was hard to believe that a guy as handsome as him was talking to me.

“Ciara? What a beautiful name, much like the girl it belongs to,” He laughed as I blushed, flattered by his flirting.

My eyes returned to the stage as the song Our Lady Of Sorrows began to play - my favourite to dance to. Frank looked at me from the stage and then shot a look at James, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I giggled a little and dropped my eyes to the glass of coke that sat in front of me on the ring stained bar.

“It’s kinda hard to talk in here, wanna go for a walk? I know a nice park around here,” James asked, leaning in so close that could smell the mint off his breath and feel it hit my cheek.

I thought of my boys who were finishing up their set. I promised to be there to tell them what I thought when they were done, but I knew that probably wouldn’t happen. Once they were done they would have to clean up and pack the van, then Brian would buy them all drinks as a celebration and they’d get drunk, despite being underage. No one would even notice I was gone, let alone miss me.

“Sure,” I smiled at the handsome boy I had only just met. “Let’s go.”

His brown eyes lit up and he took me by the hand, leading me outside to a dark alley around the side of the bar. I thought nothing of it, assuming he was just taken me through a short cut. But suddenly he pushed me up against the wall and placed his lips sloppily over mine, his tongue shoving its way into my mouth.

For a moment I didn’t know how to react. I just let him kiss me and grope my breasts through the thin material of my t-shirt. But, as his hands began to move their way south, I snapped out of my daze and pulled my face away from his, screaming as loud as I could. In an instant, his lips were back on mine, pushing down forcefully, muffling my cries fro help. I kicked and punched, tried to fend him off, but he was stronger than I had thought.

My skirt was pushed above my waist, my tights and underwear yanked roughly down to my ankles. I heard his zipper being pulled down and I whimpered into his mouth. I shut my eyes as I felt him enter me roughly, wishing I was elsewhere.

He thrust in and out of my quickly, the pain soon turning numb. It didn’t seem real. I had never even considered the thought that I’d ever get raped. It didn’t happen in my small town in Ireland.

I felt him finish inside me and I suddenly became aware of hot tears streaming down my freezing cold cheeks.

“Thanks whore,” James snickered as he pulled up his trousers. He threw some money at me. “I’ll see you around.”

He winked sleazily and was gone.

I scrunched up the twenty he had thrown at me and chucked it across the alley, as far away from me as possible. My black tight were torn and dirty but I pulled them back up with my underwear, praying to a God I didn’t even believe in that this was all just a dream.

Feeling too weak to move any further, I let myself collapse onto the dirty ground, curling myself up into the fetal position. My body ached and I felt as filthy as the ground I lay on. I hoped again, as unrealistic as it was, that it had all been just a dream.

“Guess you were right Mommy,” I whimpered to the empty alleyway. “You happy now?”