Let Me Be The One To Save You

Letting myself into the house I had an awful sense of foreboding. The house was quiet and I wondered where Toni and Austin were. The living room door was open a crack and I peered in, wondering why my aunt and uncle were being so quiet.
The dimly lit room was silent as the grave. The T.V. was off and Austin and Toni sat in silence, their hands intertwined, as they stared blankly at the blank screen.

“Uhm… guys, is everything okay?”

My aunt’s eyes shot up to meet my own and I could see tears in the usually bright, shining orbs.
I was scared, something must have happened. Why else would they be so upset? I began to panic and my breathing became slightly laboured, “W…what h…ha…happened?”

Toni just bit her lower lip and looked down at the ground. Austin sighed quietly and removed his hand from his wife’s tight grip and stood up to face me.

“This is going to be hard to accept Ciara,” Those words confirmed my fears, something bad had happened. “But, your friend Rachel, she’s… she’s gone. She took her own life last night.”

My eyes clouded with tears of grief and rage. It couldn’t be true; I’d only just spoken to Rachel on the phone recently. She couldn’t be gone. She had always been so happy, so full of life. How can she be gone? How could she be a cold corpse, never to laugh, never to breathe again?

“N…no!” My knees gave out and I collapsed to the floor. Through my tears I saw Austin leave the room, unable to handle my grief. Toni came to my side and wrapped me up in her arms, whispering soothing words to help calm me down.

“Do you wanna ring Gerard and have him over? We’re not leaving until tomorrow afternoon.”

I nodded against her chest, I needed my Gee. I needed the only best friend I had left in this world. I needed him to soothe the aggravated hole in my heart, the one that had been healing and had now been torn open once more.

My hands were shaking as I dialled Gerard’s familiar number. I almost didn’t expect him to answer, that maybe he’d forgotten his phone and didn’t have while on his way home.
“Yullow?”

I tried to stay strong but hearing his voice brought me to tears once more, “G…Gee, I won’t be at practice tomorrow.”

It was such a trivial thing to remember but it was all I could manage to say.

“What happened C? Are you okay?”

I let out a spine shuddering sob, “No! Rachel’s gone Gee! She’s gone!”

His sharp intake of breath was enough to tell me that he was also surprised, “Do you want me to come over?”

“Yes please… I need you.”

“I’ll be there in five.”

The phone clicked and he was gone. Despite knowing he’d be at the house in mere moments I was suddenly filled with despair, as if I had lost him too.

At their own accord my fingers began to dial the number I had known since I was a young child.
“Hello?”

“Mum? Is it true?”

She sighed and I could imagine her squeezing her eyes shut and pinching the bridge of her nose, “Yes, it is.”

She hung up on me, no goodbye, no offer of condolences. It hurt me but then again, that was the nature of my mother. I sighed and placed the phone back in its cradle and let my body rest against the wall as tears streamed silently down my face. I closed my eyes and slid down the wall. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not so soon. It had to be a dream.



My eyes opened slowly and I groggily observed my surroundings. I was lying in my bed with someone else’s arm around my waist. They were singing softly and even in my sleepy daze I knew who it was.

“Gee Gee?” I mumbled, turning to face him in my bed.

His hazel eyes were filled with worry and he had a tired smile on his face, “Hey Sugar.”

He pulled me into a tight embrace and I revelled in his scent as it soothed my pain. My eyes were aching from tears and my heart felt like someone had torn it apart, it was too much to bear.

“She’s gone Gee, just like Fergal.”

He brushed the hair back from my face and kissed my forehead, “I know Angel, but I’m still here. I’m never leaving you.”

He asked me to tell him about Rachel and so I did. I told him about how I knew her nearly as long as I knew Ferg. She never tried to replace Fergal unlike most people; she understood our bond and didn’t try to break it. She was sweet and kind, always willing to help those who needed it. I missed her already.

“She sounds nice,” Gerard whispered when I finished telling him about how Rachel had set me up with Aidan once she had discovered that I liked him.

“She is,” I mumbled and curled up into the crook of my best friend’s neck letting a few tears escape from my eyes. “I miss her Gee. Why did she do it?”

His hands rubbed little circles on the small of my back, “I don’t know hon, but why don’t you try to get a bit of sleep? You’re gonna need it.”

I knew he was tight but I didn’t feel tired enough to sleep. There was only one way I’d drift off into the world of slumber.
“Gee, will you sing to me?”

I could hear the smile in his voice as he replied, “Of course. Anything for you Ciara.”

He took a deep breath and soon his slightly raspy voice filled my room, “Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favourite scenes…”