Let Me Be The One To Save You

I scrunched up my eyes as harsh sunlight hit my closed eyelids, bringing me out of the realm of sleep. I rolled onto my side to glare at whoever it was that opened my curtains and I was met with the sight of my grinning Aunt Toni.

"Morning Ciara," She greeted me brightly. "It's Monday morning so get up!"

I groaned and rolled onto my stomach, burying my face in the fluffy pillows, "What time is it?"

"Half seven," She responded in that same perky tone, obviously not realising that I am not a morning person.

"Oh fuck off Toni, it's way too early!" I whined, wanting nothing more than to just be allowed to sleep.

"C'mon, up! I'm heading to work soon and your first day of school is today."

Suddenly I was wide awake and I sat up in my bed, "My what?"

She nodded and stared at me like I was stupid, "I enrolled you when you arrived last week so you could start back with everyone on the first day of the Fall term."

Another groan escaped my lips and let myself fall back against the pillows, "I really hate you sometimes Toni."

"Yeah, yeah. Now out of bed."

She yanked the covers from off me before skipping out of the room. I just glared angrily after her. Sometimes I really do hate her.

After a few minutes I decided it was about time I got ready. I dragged myself out of bed and over to the last case of clothes I had yet to unpack. I grabbed blue skinny jeans, a white v-neck and a black cardigan and threw them on quickly, my eyes still half shut with sleep. The outfit was finished with a simple pair of black chucks.
I ran a brush through my hair and tied it into plaits before brushing my teeth in my en suite bathroom. After inspecting my appearance in the mirror I decided it was time for coffee.

Downstairs, as I entered the kitchen I was greeted by both Austin and Toni who were seated at the table.

"G'morning," I yawned and headed straight to the coffee pot.

Toni began talking to me but, as my thoughts were preoccupied with getting my caffeine fix, I was only half paying attention to her speech about school. She told me that she trusted me to make my own way to and from school by myself and then gave me directions that were difficult to understand in my coma-like state this morning.

"And Austin and I won't be home until six but I expect you back by four. I'll call to check, okay?" I caught the end of Toni's mini-lecture just as the caffeine started to kick in. "Got it all?"

I nodded, "Think so. I have to walk to and from school, which is only a few minutes away. You'll be home by six but you'll call at four to ensure I'm home."

She smiled and her authorative look faded, "Exactly, now I've got to go. Big day of work at the office."

Austin just laughed at her. Toni worked as his secretary and always made jokes about how she did all the work and he just sat there.

"C'mon babe, I'll drive us to work," He smiled affectionately at his wife, his green eyes sparkling with love. "I have to meet clients at nine anyway."

They both rose from the table and placed their dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Toni took great pride in having a clean house and you'd rarely find something not in its place. Dirty dishes had to be put in the dishwasher unless you wanted to suffer her wrath.

"Bye darling," She said cheerfully, kissing my head as she walked by me and out the door.

"Get to school on time," Austin said sternly before ruffling my hair and following his wife out the door.

I heard the front door close softly and then the sound of the car being started and it reversing down the drive. Soon the sounds faded and I was all alone.

A tired sigh escaped my lips and I looked at the clock- 8:40am. There was no way I'd manage to make it to school on time, twenty minutes was nowhere near enough time- what a great way to start off at a new school.
I got up and put my mug in the dishwasher before glancing at the time again. Suddenly I no longer felt like obeying my aunt and going to school. The urge came over me to skip school- something I had never done whilst living in Ireland.
After running back up to my room I gathered all the things I might need for the day. A sketch book, note book, full pencil case, I-pod and purse. With everything placed haphazardly into my black messenger I bounded back down the stairs. I grabbed the spare set of keys that were now mine from off the hook, and left the house.

For early autumn the air outside seemed bitterly cold. I shivered in my thin cardigan but decided against going back for a hoody. Instead I just continued walking down the road until reaching the town. The town was one of the many reason I hadn't wanted to move. It was dead. But despite being prepared, I was still disappointed with the lack of shops on the main street. There seemed to be more down the narrow side streets but I wasn't confident enough to explore them- not up to getting lost.

Soon, as I reached the end of the town, I came across a small children's park. It was a bit dilapidated and graffitied, but it was empty so I made my way inside and sat down on the one bench that was not burnt to a crisp. I took out my I-pod and put on some cheesy pop-rock by an Irish band called Hogan, so as to cheer myself up while all I wanted to do was go home.

“’Cos I just wanna dance,” I sang quietly to myself and pulled my sketchbook and pencils out of my bag. Then I began to draw.

The scene in front of me began to flow out of my hand as soon as my pencil hit the crisp white paper. I drew the swing set, only one seat remaining, the other just two chains hanging from the blue pole overhead; the roundabout covered in graffiti; and the ground, littered with beer bottles, syringes and cigarette butts. A place that was supposed to be full of innocence and childhood laughter had been destroyed by the scum of the area.
As the scene of despair unfolded on my page I automatically thought, ‘I can’t wait to show this to Fergal.’
But then I remembered. I slammed my book shut out of frustration and put it back into my bag, grabbing my notebook instead. Flipping to a blank page I grabbed my purple pen and began to write. It seemed fitting, that as I wrote, the song ‘Miss You’ by Hogan began to play, fitting my mood perfectly. I sighed heavily and continued to write.

“Dear Fergal,
Fuck I miss you right now! I’m sitting here in a derelict playground in New Jersey and my thoughts just keep returning to you.
I wish you were here to talk to me about the drawing I just did. I bet you’d have lots of advice about it. You always were the more talented of us two.
I hate Jersey. It’s grey and dank, no personality whatsoever. I miss the fields of home and the colourful streets of Temple Bar. I don’t belong in this strange state. The people here all seemed preoccupied with no consideration for those around them. It’s a cruel place.
Wish you could tell me what to do, how to survive it here. But, I suppose if you were here I’d still be at home in Ireland. With you.
Fuck, this is hard! I wish you hadn’t left me. You should still be here, enjoying life with me. I wish I could understand why you did this.
I’m never going to be happy without you. You were pretty much my everything. . .
I love you so much and miss you darling.
Love you baby,
Ciara.
Xo.

Standing up, I ripped the letter into tiny pieces and threw them into the sky, letting the breeze carry them away. I stood and watched, letting the sudden shower of rain soak my face as I watched the little pieces of white paper fly up in the sky.
“I hope you get my message Ferg,” I whispered to the clouds, my heart aching and my eyes burning with unshed tears.