Let Me Be The One To Save You

The next few weeks were dramatically different to those first few I had spent in Belleville. I grew closer to Gerard and his friends. He kept trying to get me to open up, but I just couldn’t do it. The last person I had trusted had then left me. Fergal had known every little detail of my life, he was the one person I’d have trusted with my life, and then, he went and took his own. Leaving me. All alone. I was terrified that, if I opened up to Gerard - or any of the other guys- that I would lost them too. I couldn’t stand the thoughts of living through that pain again.

A movement caught my eye and I turned my head to see Ray and Frank engaging in an epic paintbrush duel, as opposed to actually doing their art assignment. Art was the only subject I shared with other guys from the group. We had a double class on both Thursday and Friday afternoons, and Ray and Frank always got hyper whilst Gerard tended to become incredibly quiet and concentrate solely on his artwork.
Neither Bob nor Mikey were in our class, Bob because he, according to Frank, “Can’t draw a straight line, even with a ruler” ; and Mikey because he was two years below us. Frank was supposed to be in the year in between, but his grades in Music, Art, Science and Math had gotten him moved up to our year group.

“Agh! Ray, you dickhead!” Gerard’s voice exclaimed rather loudly in the almost quiet room.

I looked over and saw that, during their duel, Ray and Frank had gotten to close to Gerard’s table. It seemed that Ray had knocked water onto the page lying in front of the raven haired boy and had ruined his efforts. Gerard did not look happy and Ray swallowed loudly, his eyes wide with fear. Gerard looked like he was about to hit Ray and I decided it was time to intervene.

“C’mon Gerard,” I placed my hand on his tense arm as I spoke calmly. “Let’s see if we can fix your drawing.”

The hazel eyes boy looked down at me and visibly relaxed. He nodded, “Yeah. Sure.”

Ray looked relieved and he mouthed a thank you to me as I sat Gerard down at his table in front of his sketch. I looked down at the paper and was amazed at the drawing. It was of a five piece band standing on stage. At first glance all appeared normal, but as I looked closer I saw the crowd was full of monsters - vampires, zombies and werewolves. It was really dark and I couldn’t help be drawn in by it.

“It’s ruined,” Gerard whined in an upset voice.

“I think it’s amazing,” I argued in a soft, soothing tone.

“But look at the band,” He pointed to the stage and I saw that the lead singer’s dark hair had been smudged, along with the guitarist’s afro an the bassist’s thick rimmed glasses. Realisation hit me.

“Gerard, is this you and the guys?”

He nodded, “Mhmm. . . I wanted it to be perfect and put it up in our practice place.”

“I didn’t you were in a band.”

He turned to me, his hazel eyes wide in disbelief, “I didn’t tell you already?”

I shook my head. He had never mentioned a band around me.

His face formed a sheepish smile, “Oops. Well, now that you do know, you should come to our practice in Frankie’s later.”

“Uhm. . . I dunno,” I felt intrusive. This was obviously something that the five guys did together- I didn’t want to butt in just because we were starting to become friends.

“Awh, c’mon Ciara. Please?” He turned those puppy dog eyes on me and I felt myself melt. “The guys have been telling me to bring you.”

I sighed, feeling my protests crumble before I even uttered them, “Okay, I’ll come.

“Yay!” He exclaimed in a manner much like Frank and pulled me into a side hug. “You can come with us straight after school.”

I nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. I was happy that he was excited, “Yeah sure. That sounds cool.”

He flashed me another grin before going back to his drawing, attempting to fix it. Soon he had lost himself to the world of art, only looking up occasionally to ask my opinion on something he had drawn.



“C’mon Ciara,” Frank cried grabbing my hand and dragging me along as he ran down the road that I assumed led to his house. “It’s band time!”

I chuckled and hurried my pace so as to not fall. I had to wonder how someone as short as him could move so fast.
In only a few minutes were standing in front of his front door, out of breath and fit to collapse. He dug his keys out of the tight skinny jeans he wore and let us both into the empty house.

I let myself relax on the arm chair in the basement he had led me to whilst he went outside to check where the other guys were. Soon I could hear the sounds of pounding footsteps on the stairs and laughed when all five boys came barrelling through the door, falling over each other in the process.

After they had picked themselves up we all sat around for a bit, just talking. In those twenty minutes I became better friends with Frank. I learned that beneath his cocky, joker exterior he was a real sweetheart.

“C’mon guys, time to practice,” Gerard suddenly announced as he stood up and headed to the pile of equipment at the far end of the dimly lit basement.

Grumbling, the rest of the guys followed. They organised themselves quickly, each grabbing their own instruments. Bob was hidden behind a drum kit; Mikey stood near him, a black bass slung over his shoulders; Ray and Frank stood either side of the room, guitars in their grasps; and finally, Gerard. He stood in the middle of the room, a microphone in his hand and a confident aura around him, something I had never noticed before.

They spent a few minutes tuning up before a soft intro began to play and Gerard stepped forward to sing. He flicked his black hair out of his eyes and grabbed the microphone stand with force.

“And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart. . .”

I quickly lost myself in the lyrics and the sound of Gerard’s voice. The song was about vampires and saving the one you love from them. Gerard sang it with urgency and I found myself caught up in the song, not wanting it to ever end. But, of course, it did.

My hands came together as I applauded they boys’ hard work, “That was amazing. Who wrote it?”

Gerard’s cheeks flushed red and his hand awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, “I did. It’s called Vampires Will Never Hurt You .”

I smiled, “It’s really good. Now play me some more.”

The guys chuckled but began another song, one they had entitled Drowning Lessons.

They practiced for nearly an hour and I found myself enjoying every song they played. Gerard was so confident when performing, he’d lose himself in the lyrics and just let loose.

“Okay Ciara, this is our last song. It’s called Early Sunsets Over Monroeville ,” Gerard told me as Frank and Ray hurried to change guitars.

Soon a melodic intro began to play and Gerard closed his eyes. He swayed slowly from side to side and began to sing.

“Late dawns and early sunsets, just like my favourite scenes
Then holding hands and life was perfect, just like up on the screen. . .“

Like with all the other songs they had played, I lost myself in the story. The lyrics seemed to be about a man wondering if he’d have the guts to kill his lover if she was ‘changed’. I considered the reference to Monroeville and assumed Gerard was singing about zombies.

“But does anyone notice there’s a corpse in this bed?” The song ended with a line that Gerard sang with pain in his voice. Like me, he seemed to lose himself to the songs, letting the lyrics transport him to another world.

“Movie time!” Frank suddenly exclaimed and put his guitar down gently before running up the stairs.

He was quickly followed by mikey and Bob who were saying something about junk food.
I looked at Ray and Gerard, a confused look on my face.

Ray laughed, “It’s our weekly tradition. Since we practice on a Friday, afterwards we watch movies and then crash here for the night. The Ieros are cool about it.”

“Oh okay,” I nodded. “Now I understand.”

The two guys laughed before Gerard told me to text my aunt ask her to stay over. I did just that and she replied with a positive answer- finally glad I had gotten some friends.

“We have movies and food!” Frank yelled coming back into the room with Bob and Mikey in tow, all of their hands full with food, drinks and DVDs.

“Let’s get this movie marathon started!” Ray exclaimed, settling down onto the couch.


Four hours later everyone but me and Gerard were asleep. Mikey and Frankie were curled up on either end of the couch; Ray was on the floor lying in the fetal position and sucking on his thumb; and Bob was in a ball on the armchair, looking like he was sleeping peacefully. Gerard and I were both seated on the only chair, a red beanbag. I was leaning against him and he had an arm wrapped around my waist. Occasionally he would pull me tighter so as to prevent me from falling off, and every time he did, a spark of electricity went through my body.

“So what do you think of the band?” He asked me in a hushed tone so we wouldn’t wake the others.

I smiled against his chest, “You’re amazing. If you work hard enough, I bet you could be huge.”

“I doubt it. The rest of the guys could but not me, I’m not good enough,” He sounded so resigned, as if what he was saying was a truth he had long ago just accepted.

I pulled back from off his chest and sought to find his eyes in the dark. His hazel orbs glittered in the dim light radiating from the TV. and it looked as if he was crying.

“Why would you think that Gerard?” I asked, disbelief evident in my voice. “You’re brilliant at everything you do.”

He sighed and looked away from my gaze, “My parents made me realise it was a stupid dream. I could never be as good as people like Billie-Joe Armstrong anyway.”

No-one had ever had any faith in Gerard I realised. He’d been told to give up on his dreams, that he’d never amount to anything. Well I disagreed with those idiots and I made sure to tell him.

“Gerard, I believe in you. Those people are stupid, you are good enough to be like Billie-Joe. Just have some faith in yourself like I do.”

I saw his eyes light up considerably and I realised that I had been right. He just needed someone to believe in him and say that they thought he could do it.

“Night,” I whispered and kissed his cheek before snuggling into his chest and letting my eyes close.

“G’night,” He mumbled softly and kissed my hair. “And thank you.”

I smiled and let myself drift off into the world of sleep.