I Wish Forever Would Hurry up and End
Just Make it Stop
"Honey, you know I love you right?" I whispered to Jarvis, trying to calm him down as fast as possible before his anger hit maximum temperature.
"Do you? Really? Because I just feel that if you truly did love me, you wouldn't be caught flirting your ass off with Mitchell all the time."
"Jarvis, you know that Mitchell has been a good friend of mine since we were really young. Our mothers are really close friends. I don't like him like that, we've been over this millions of times."
"Well maybe I don't like you two being such close friends!" He took a menacing step towards me. "Actually, I don't like it. Not at all!" He wrapped his hand around my slender throat and pushed me against a wall. "Oh Raven... you're so, so beautiful," he murmured, caressing my cheek with his free hand, then running his fingers through my long, silky, black hair. "That's what makes it so hard when I have to put you in your place," he said, his voice getting louder and louder with each word.
And then he hit me. He slapped me hard across the face. I should have been expecting it. I should be used to it by now. But tears still filled my eyes before silently pouring down my cheeks. Jarvis stopped for a second and wiped them away with his thumb. "Oh Raven, my love, my beauty... I wish you wouldn't cry." And then he kneed me in my stomach.
I slipped out from his grasp around my throat and fell to the ground, coughing and spluttering. "Does this hurt? Does it hurt you? I hope it does!" It confused me, it truly did, how he could be so nice, and loving, and call me beautiful, at the exact same time as he was hurting me so badly.
"Bruises don't make me beautiful," I coughed out between kicks to my side.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing. I said nothing."
"That's what I thought."
About five minutes later, I felt the kicks and punches getting softer, and I realized that Jarvis was finishing up. I lay there, waiting for it to end, when finally I felt myself being roughly lifted up. Through my non-swollen eye, I saw Jarvis surveying me, checking for visible bruises. But it didn't matter. A combination of concealer and long sleeved-shirts would take care of them, and he knew it.
He lifted me up with a slight grunt, and then laid me on my bed with such carefulness, as if I was a china doll about to break. He lay beside me, watching, waiting, to see what I would do. I turned away from him slowly, facing the wall, feeling my entire body ache.
"Oh, babe," he said, exasperated. "Don't be like this. You know I love you."
"Then why do you hurt me?" I squeaked.
"I hurt you... because I love you. And I need you. And I just want you to stay by my side forever. But Raven, I feel terrible every time... I'm messed up, I'm hurt in the head, when I hurt you, it hurts me... and I don't think I can put either of us through that pain again. Don't worry Raven, you're safe with me from now on."
I turned over again, facing him, and smiling faintly. He pushed some hair out of my face and waited for my response. I had heard this speech so many times before... and yet every time it still got to me. It made me feel alive again, as if I was truly loved. It was dumb of me, I know. But I loved Jarvis, and I knew, that deep down, behind the fists and anger and the mean words, he loved me too. So I just did what I did every single time.
"I love you too Jarvis."
"Do you? Really? Because I just feel that if you truly did love me, you wouldn't be caught flirting your ass off with Mitchell all the time."
"Jarvis, you know that Mitchell has been a good friend of mine since we were really young. Our mothers are really close friends. I don't like him like that, we've been over this millions of times."
"Well maybe I don't like you two being such close friends!" He took a menacing step towards me. "Actually, I don't like it. Not at all!" He wrapped his hand around my slender throat and pushed me against a wall. "Oh Raven... you're so, so beautiful," he murmured, caressing my cheek with his free hand, then running his fingers through my long, silky, black hair. "That's what makes it so hard when I have to put you in your place," he said, his voice getting louder and louder with each word.
And then he hit me. He slapped me hard across the face. I should have been expecting it. I should be used to it by now. But tears still filled my eyes before silently pouring down my cheeks. Jarvis stopped for a second and wiped them away with his thumb. "Oh Raven, my love, my beauty... I wish you wouldn't cry." And then he kneed me in my stomach.
I slipped out from his grasp around my throat and fell to the ground, coughing and spluttering. "Does this hurt? Does it hurt you? I hope it does!" It confused me, it truly did, how he could be so nice, and loving, and call me beautiful, at the exact same time as he was hurting me so badly.
"Bruises don't make me beautiful," I coughed out between kicks to my side.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing. I said nothing."
"That's what I thought."
About five minutes later, I felt the kicks and punches getting softer, and I realized that Jarvis was finishing up. I lay there, waiting for it to end, when finally I felt myself being roughly lifted up. Through my non-swollen eye, I saw Jarvis surveying me, checking for visible bruises. But it didn't matter. A combination of concealer and long sleeved-shirts would take care of them, and he knew it.
He lifted me up with a slight grunt, and then laid me on my bed with such carefulness, as if I was a china doll about to break. He lay beside me, watching, waiting, to see what I would do. I turned away from him slowly, facing the wall, feeling my entire body ache.
"Oh, babe," he said, exasperated. "Don't be like this. You know I love you."
"Then why do you hurt me?" I squeaked.
"I hurt you... because I love you. And I need you. And I just want you to stay by my side forever. But Raven, I feel terrible every time... I'm messed up, I'm hurt in the head, when I hurt you, it hurts me... and I don't think I can put either of us through that pain again. Don't worry Raven, you're safe with me from now on."
I turned over again, facing him, and smiling faintly. He pushed some hair out of my face and waited for my response. I had heard this speech so many times before... and yet every time it still got to me. It made me feel alive again, as if I was truly loved. It was dumb of me, I know. But I loved Jarvis, and I knew, that deep down, behind the fists and anger and the mean words, he loved me too. So I just did what I did every single time.
"I love you too Jarvis."