Status: Never give up. You are enough.
No One Said It'd Be Easy.
Sixteen.
Dear Keali,
You lied. You said you were on MY side. You said you were here for me when I needed to talk. SO guess what? I need to talk.
You think I'm taking this too far? You think I'M the problem in the situation? No one wants to hear MY story. I'm completely in the dust. I don't matter. I know that. But given so, I don't need YOU reminding me everyday. But you do. Faithfully. No one has asked me how I feel or how I'm hurting. But, in case you were wondering, I'm hurting, a lot.
Can you just understand ME for once?
Do you think I haven't cried because of how you make me feel? Did you not see me today at lunch? Because if you didn't, you're really dumb.
Did you know that Hunter and I would be dating right now if it wasn't because of you? If you would just stop starting shit, we'd be dating. And we'd be happy. But you can't let that happen, can you?
Why would you even think it was okay to imply that everything was my fault when you asked what I did this time to Alec. You don't know the story. So shut the fuck up. And for the record, we're not even fighting. I held back tears because you said that. I don't need a reminder of all the things I can't do right. Which is a lot. I tell myself every day how much of a failure I am. I don't need you reminding me too. Thanks though. I appreciate the "support".
My grades suck. I used to be a straight A student. But all that has changed, majorly. My friends are disappearing. And within all this, I'm losing myself. I'm losing who I was and I'm becoming a complete stranger to myself in all of this. But of course, you don't care because your life is peachy keen. You have the boyfriend, you have the looks, the grades, the friends. And I have...nothing. I have myself. But that's not enough anymore. I don't think it ever really was. I accepted myself. I finally accepted the fact that I was a lost cause. That I was only half as it was going to get. But you made me feel like I'm only 10% good enough. Like I'm just a waste of space.
I'm sure you don't mean to. But the worst part is that you can't even see what you're doing to me. You don't see me cry? You don't see the pain in my eyes when I say, "I'm fine." You can't see how I lie?
I guess that's what I am: a liar. It's not completely your fault. But you sure do have an impact on my feelings.
Stop. Stop telling me what to do. Stop talking to me. Stop "comforting" me. Just stop. K? Thanks.
I'm sure you're never going to read this. Because I'm pretty sure you don't even know what this website is or that it even exists. But if you ever come across this, this is how I feel. I hope you read it.
Love,
Megan.
You lied. You said you were on MY side. You said you were here for me when I needed to talk. SO guess what? I need to talk.
You think I'm taking this too far? You think I'M the problem in the situation? No one wants to hear MY story. I'm completely in the dust. I don't matter. I know that. But given so, I don't need YOU reminding me everyday. But you do. Faithfully. No one has asked me how I feel or how I'm hurting. But, in case you were wondering, I'm hurting, a lot.
Can you just understand ME for once?
Do you think I haven't cried because of how you make me feel? Did you not see me today at lunch? Because if you didn't, you're really dumb.
Did you know that Hunter and I would be dating right now if it wasn't because of you? If you would just stop starting shit, we'd be dating. And we'd be happy. But you can't let that happen, can you?
Why would you even think it was okay to imply that everything was my fault when you asked what I did this time to Alec. You don't know the story. So shut the fuck up. And for the record, we're not even fighting. I held back tears because you said that. I don't need a reminder of all the things I can't do right. Which is a lot. I tell myself every day how much of a failure I am. I don't need you reminding me too. Thanks though. I appreciate the "support".
My grades suck. I used to be a straight A student. But all that has changed, majorly. My friends are disappearing. And within all this, I'm losing myself. I'm losing who I was and I'm becoming a complete stranger to myself in all of this. But of course, you don't care because your life is peachy keen. You have the boyfriend, you have the looks, the grades, the friends. And I have...nothing. I have myself. But that's not enough anymore. I don't think it ever really was. I accepted myself. I finally accepted the fact that I was a lost cause. That I was only half as it was going to get. But you made me feel like I'm only 10% good enough. Like I'm just a waste of space.
I'm sure you don't mean to. But the worst part is that you can't even see what you're doing to me. You don't see me cry? You don't see the pain in my eyes when I say, "I'm fine." You can't see how I lie?
I guess that's what I am: a liar. It's not completely your fault. But you sure do have an impact on my feelings.
Stop. Stop telling me what to do. Stop talking to me. Stop "comforting" me. Just stop. K? Thanks.
I'm sure you're never going to read this. Because I'm pretty sure you don't even know what this website is or that it even exists. But if you ever come across this, this is how I feel. I hope you read it.
Love,
Megan.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know that readers probably don't understand but this is mainly for me. So I'm sorry that it's kind of confusing.