Status: Never give up. You are enough.
No One Said It'd Be Easy.
Four.
I went to the preppiest, most judgmental middle school there was in my city. We'll call it: Hell. So Hell was pretty much, hell. I attended Hell for four years: fifth through eighth grade. My fifth grade year was great. I had friends, school was easy, and I liked it. The beginning of sixth grade was good as well. I still had friends, school was still easy, and I still liked it.
I knew a girl named Ashley. We were some what close, not as close as I would have liked to have been though. We sat next to each other in math class and always giggled over the dumbest things. We were eleven, can you blame us? We passed notes, even though we sat right next to each other. We were friends I suppose. In November, she died. She, her dad, and two brothers were driving home from Parables when a semi-truck hit her side of the car and flipped over. Her dad flew out of the car with only a couple bumps and bruises, one of her brothers was the same, and the other with a broken arm. But Ashley's injuries were more severe. She had head trauma and multiple injuries seeing as the truck hit her. She went to the hospital and was in a coma for almost a week before her parents decided to pull the plug seeing as the doctors said she wouldn't wake up. Her brain was already dead so to speak. But she still had a pulse. There was just no way that her brain could regenerate and wake up the rest of her body. Her parents donated her organs after she died.
Ashley was the type of girl that everyone wanted to be friends with. She wasn't necessarily "popular" but she had a lot of friends. She was a practicing Christian and her smile could light up a whole room. She was a ray of sunshine, literally.
Her funeral was a few days after her death and I attended. Our school did a lot of projects for the family and they were all at the funeral too. Every one was devastated. But it was only a matter of time for people to be okay again, and we were. Things returned back to normal shortly. Vanessa continued to stuff her bra, Brandon continued to flirt with every girl he could. Stupid sixth grade stuff, I suppose.
I had a best friend. We'll call her, Kaylyn. So Kaylyn and I did everything together. We were two peas in a pod. But she was bisexual. I really didn't have a problem with that at all. I was straight and I always have been but she was dating a popular girl. Let's call her, Stephanie. Stephanie could not have her reputation at Hell be ruined so she had to blame the rumors of the two dating on somebody. That somebody turned out to be me. Since Kaylyn and I were such good friends, we were always together, it was easy for people to believe. I lost a lot that year. All my friends, including Kaylyn eventually. My reputation, my view on school. Almost everything that was important to me.
I remember one day at lunch and it was just me and Kaylyn sitting with each other alone at a table. A counselor came and sat with us. She made small talk. Things like "What are you girls doing? How's school?" And my personal favorite "Are you two actually dating?"
I was astounded. I mean, seriously? Someone told a counselor. That was the dumbest thing I ever experienced at that time. I didn't answer. I simply took my lunch, threw it away and walked out of the cafeteria. We weren't supposed to do that, but no one stopped me.
I went into the bathroom and cried for the rest of lunch. I knew at that moment things were never going to be the same for me. And I was right.
For the next three years at Hell I was constantly tormented and teased. For gym, girls would hide while they changed into shorts and t-shirts for fear I would, I don't really know what they thought I would do. Rape them? I was four foot tall for crying out loud. I couldn't do much damage. It broke my heart to know that every one hated me over a dumb lie. I was asked every day if the rumor was true and I always said no. I got pushed and shoved and kicked and slapped. Even around the teachers, but no one ever helped me. I decided enough was enough and begged my Mom to let me transfer. By that time, we were living with her boyfriend of a year. They both said no. I pleaded on my knees until I couldn't feel my knee caps and yet they still refused to let me switch. School was literally Hell. It kept me from experiencing a true relationship. Thus bringing me to: Mr. Gavin Brion. My first "boyfriend" in seventh grade.
By then, I had made a few friends. Rachel, Sara, and Hanna were my only friends. Then all of a sudden Gavin took an interest in me. I liked him. He had sort of a bad-boy vibe and one time brought his pet spider to school and let it loose. Every one freaked out and I think it may have been the funniest thing I had seen in a while. We started talking and texting. He asked me out in the spring and I said yes. So there we were: my first boyfriend and I. We hugged in the hallway and I went to his track meets with him and we would hang out in the park. We were good together, you know, until we broke up. We lasted two months. It turns out he was just using me because he thought I was bisexual and he had heard things about stuff I had done with other girls/guys. For example, apparently I made out with Kaylyn in the bathroom at school, and let Brandon feel me up (not that there was anything to feel. I was about as flat as a pancake and I still kind of am). So many rumors about how sexual I was. Hi. I was an eleven year old girl. I hadn't had my first kiss and I didn't until I was thirteen. Ironically enough, it was with Gavin. Ha. So, he used me to try to "get some." Damn those horny eleven year old boys.
I knew a girl named Ashley. We were some what close, not as close as I would have liked to have been though. We sat next to each other in math class and always giggled over the dumbest things. We were eleven, can you blame us? We passed notes, even though we sat right next to each other. We were friends I suppose. In November, she died. She, her dad, and two brothers were driving home from Parables when a semi-truck hit her side of the car and flipped over. Her dad flew out of the car with only a couple bumps and bruises, one of her brothers was the same, and the other with a broken arm. But Ashley's injuries were more severe. She had head trauma and multiple injuries seeing as the truck hit her. She went to the hospital and was in a coma for almost a week before her parents decided to pull the plug seeing as the doctors said she wouldn't wake up. Her brain was already dead so to speak. But she still had a pulse. There was just no way that her brain could regenerate and wake up the rest of her body. Her parents donated her organs after she died.
Ashley was the type of girl that everyone wanted to be friends with. She wasn't necessarily "popular" but she had a lot of friends. She was a practicing Christian and her smile could light up a whole room. She was a ray of sunshine, literally.
Her funeral was a few days after her death and I attended. Our school did a lot of projects for the family and they were all at the funeral too. Every one was devastated. But it was only a matter of time for people to be okay again, and we were. Things returned back to normal shortly. Vanessa continued to stuff her bra, Brandon continued to flirt with every girl he could. Stupid sixth grade stuff, I suppose.
I had a best friend. We'll call her, Kaylyn. So Kaylyn and I did everything together. We were two peas in a pod. But she was bisexual. I really didn't have a problem with that at all. I was straight and I always have been but she was dating a popular girl. Let's call her, Stephanie. Stephanie could not have her reputation at Hell be ruined so she had to blame the rumors of the two dating on somebody. That somebody turned out to be me. Since Kaylyn and I were such good friends, we were always together, it was easy for people to believe. I lost a lot that year. All my friends, including Kaylyn eventually. My reputation, my view on school. Almost everything that was important to me.
I remember one day at lunch and it was just me and Kaylyn sitting with each other alone at a table. A counselor came and sat with us. She made small talk. Things like "What are you girls doing? How's school?" And my personal favorite "Are you two actually dating?"
I was astounded. I mean, seriously? Someone told a counselor. That was the dumbest thing I ever experienced at that time. I didn't answer. I simply took my lunch, threw it away and walked out of the cafeteria. We weren't supposed to do that, but no one stopped me.
I went into the bathroom and cried for the rest of lunch. I knew at that moment things were never going to be the same for me. And I was right.
For the next three years at Hell I was constantly tormented and teased. For gym, girls would hide while they changed into shorts and t-shirts for fear I would, I don't really know what they thought I would do. Rape them? I was four foot tall for crying out loud. I couldn't do much damage. It broke my heart to know that every one hated me over a dumb lie. I was asked every day if the rumor was true and I always said no. I got pushed and shoved and kicked and slapped. Even around the teachers, but no one ever helped me. I decided enough was enough and begged my Mom to let me transfer. By that time, we were living with her boyfriend of a year. They both said no. I pleaded on my knees until I couldn't feel my knee caps and yet they still refused to let me switch. School was literally Hell. It kept me from experiencing a true relationship. Thus bringing me to: Mr. Gavin Brion. My first "boyfriend" in seventh grade.
By then, I had made a few friends. Rachel, Sara, and Hanna were my only friends. Then all of a sudden Gavin took an interest in me. I liked him. He had sort of a bad-boy vibe and one time brought his pet spider to school and let it loose. Every one freaked out and I think it may have been the funniest thing I had seen in a while. We started talking and texting. He asked me out in the spring and I said yes. So there we were: my first boyfriend and I. We hugged in the hallway and I went to his track meets with him and we would hang out in the park. We were good together, you know, until we broke up. We lasted two months. It turns out he was just using me because he thought I was bisexual and he had heard things about stuff I had done with other girls/guys. For example, apparently I made out with Kaylyn in the bathroom at school, and let Brandon feel me up (not that there was anything to feel. I was about as flat as a pancake and I still kind of am). So many rumors about how sexual I was. Hi. I was an eleven year old girl. I hadn't had my first kiss and I didn't until I was thirteen. Ironically enough, it was with Gavin. Ha. So, he used me to try to "get some." Damn those horny eleven year old boys.