Make Me Wanna Die

My doctor wants to put me on Prozac but my parents say no. I’m not sure if I want to go on meds or not, but honestly I don’t think anything will be better when I get home. The hospital social worker made me do a meeting with my father. All we did in the meeting was argue. And afterward, the social worker came in my room and told me that my father defending himself was stupid. She made me tell her the story of him kicking me out again. I told her, just as I had before. I told his girlfriend about him drinking and making fun of me. She decided that we should schedule an intervention. We did for a Friday (the Friday before I came here). Well, I got home from school that Friday and my father was already drunk. I was watching the music video for “Firework” by Katy Perry when my father walked in and decided to watch with me. He saw the two guys kissing and made a comment about how it wasn’t alright with him. I went to my room and started crying on my bed, texting his girlfriend who was on her way. She got there and I was showing her the video. My father walked in just in time to see it again and he turned away dramatically saying, “Ew.” I stomped to my room, not being able to hold back the tears because he had just humiliated me again, but this time in front of my role model. Steph is her name. She argued with my dad about it for a while, before I walked back in to do the intervention. We both were concerned, neither of us acted angry. He, on the other hand, got pissed. He decided to bring up everything bad Steph and I had ever done, instead of acknowledging his problem. Eventually he got so mad that we weren’t listening to his ramblings about what we’ve done in the past that he told us both to “Get the f**k out of his house.” So we did. I lived with her until Sunday night when I moved in with my dad’s mom, and Monday I came here. Also, yesterday we had visiting hours from 5:30 to 6:30. My father told Steph the number for the hospital, so she called and we talked. She wanted to come visit by my father refused to let her come. I was so angry that I started throwing things randomly around in my room. It’s gotten to where I can’t control my anger anymore. Maybe I do need the meds…