Guy

I knew that no one lived forever, just like I knew that I wasn't going to be alive forever. It just wasn't clear to me that I would actually die so soon. The thought of me dying just seemed like lifetimes away, like I had years upon years of living left. I couldn't imagine being gone. I mean, life at that time for me was just brilliant, that the thought of it being over someday just never occurred to me. Every day I loved just being, not caring about anything else. Now, every day, I think about how long I have left, and how my metaphorical rug was yanked out from under me and I was left to fall with no one to catch me. My days now are limited, and knowing that, it gives you this anxious feeling that by the time they're up, you'll still have done nothing for yourself or anyone else. That feeling, it's the worst feeling in the world. And it's all there is for me.