Collision Kisses
Eight
Gerard’s P.O.V
As I walk back to mine and Mikey’s house with tears streaming down my face I think about what Frank had just said. Maybe it was my fault, I mean after all I didn’t try to save her. Was there a way to save her though? Frank was just shocked and needed to blame someone right? He doesn’t really hate me, he’ll see me again once he’s calmed down. If you believe that then you’re even stupider than I thought, should that be more stupid? Gee stop arguing with yourself! Think of a way to make things up to Frank. That’d be easier if he’d let me near him though.
I get back home and lock my self in my bedroom. Mikey knew about Linda, otherwise I’m sure he would have complained about me not being home as much.
“Gee?! Why are you home? Why aren’t you at Frank’s?” Mikey shouts through the door.
“I just fancied spending the night at home Mikey. That’s okay with you isn’t it?” I say through my tears.
“Gee, I know you’ve been crying I can hear it. What’s happened with Frank?” He enquires, he’s really starting to get on my nerves.
“Nothing has fucking happened with me and Frank, just leave me alone Mikey, please.” I say. Annoying clear in my voice.
“Gerard Arthur Way open the door now, I’m coming in whether you like it or not.”
I reluctantly get up and walk over to the door and let him. Before he has the chance to ask I tell him everything. That’s the thing I love about mine and Mikey’s relationship, there is no secrets. He listens to me and by the end of my explanation I’m sobbing. Mikey just holds me and when I’m calmed down slightly he finally talks.
“Do you want me to go and talk to him?” Typical Mikey, thinking about everyone else before himself.
“No Mikes its okay, he needs to calm down a bit I think.” I say, convincing myself as much as him.
“Gee, try and ring him tomorrow yeah? Not like as soon as you wake up but get in touch with him tomorrow.”
I smile and think that once I have finished work tomorrow I’ll ring him. It’s Friday tomorrow too, which means that if he’s willing then I’ll talk to him face to face and can talk as long as I need. Mikey has the best ideas ever.
“I will Mikey, I hope it works. I really do.” The tears are returning to my eyes rapidy.
“All he needs is time, it really is all he needs.” Mikey says trying to make me feel better. It works to a degree I assume, as I reply.
“Yeah Mikey, you’re right.”
Once Mikey has left my room I try to sleep. I just lay on my bed and cry, partly because of the loss of Linda. I’m going to miss coming home and talking about my day to her, and her telling me all the embarrassing things Frankie did as a child. I cry because Frank’s words cut so deep, he really is the only guy I’ve been serious about before and now, now he’s told me he hates me. Eventually I cry myself to sleep.
Frankie’s P.O.V.
I blink fast, three times before I am actually able to open my eyes and keep them open, I look up at my mother’s lifeless body and everything from the night before comes rushing back into my memory.
My first thought is if Gerard got home safe, I am still mad at him, even if I shouldn’t be. I’m mad at him because I wasn’t here, but I don’t blame him. He’s the only one to be mad at I guess. I kiss my mothers forehead before leaving the room to arrange for her body to be picked up. I’m not so sad anymore, she’s in a better place right? I hope so. I think this morning I have a different perspective of things, I have realised that she was in tremendous pain and that she’s died the way she wanted to. At home, and not alone at least she got that.
I sit on the couch and pick up the phone. Once I have finished I have half an hour before her body is being taken away. I sit on the cough wondering what I should do now. I look up and Mum is standing there watching me a small smile placed on her pale face.
“Mum? I thought you were dead! Mum you’re awake!” I almost scream at her with happiness.
“No Frankie, no I’m not. I just came back to ask you to do something for me.” I rub my eyes to make sure this is actually happening, she’s not alive? Well then how is she talking to me? I open my eyes again and she is still there looking down at me. Oh well, what the hell do I have to lose.
“What do you want me to do mum?”
“I want you to ring Gee. As soon as I’m gone. You have to ring him and take it all back. You don’t hate him. I know you don’t. You two were made for each other. I need you two to be together.”
“But mum. I’m angry at him, he didn’t try to help you!” I shout, surprised at her request.
“It’s not him you need to be angry at, he didn’t make me die honey. Please promise me you will make up with him.” I can hear the desperation in her voice, I can’t not let her have her one last wish.
“What if he doesn’t want me now mum?” my voice is as weak as a mouse’s I’m surprised she heard, but she shouldn’t even be able to talk to me so it’s not overly surprising I guess.
“Of course he wants you Frankie. He’ll always want you, just trust me my darling. Make up with him Frankie. Promise me.”
“I promise.” And as soon as I had said those words, she was gone. I knew it was for the rest of my life this time.
I looked at the phone on the table, and I knew exactly what I was going to do, it was like I wasn’t myself. I picked it up and dialled Gerard’s number it rang, and rang, and rang, and rang until eventually he picked it up.
“Frankie? Are you okay?” I smiled. He knew it was me and he was willing to talk to me.
“I’m coping, Gee I’m ringing to apologise. What I said last night, it was out of order. It’s not your fault she’s gone. I know that now and Gee well..” I pause, not quite sure how to say what I want to
“Well what?” Gee says, with anxiety in his voice.
“Well, I need you Gee. There is no way I’m going to get through this without your support.” It was as if I could hear him smile down the phone.
“Babe, I’m here as long as you need me to be. Frankie?”
“Yes baby?”
“I love you.” Those three words, said so plainly but still mean so much.
“I love you too. I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. It was amazingly out of order.” I say, still feeling guilty for my behaviour, the words of my mum still in my head.
“It’s okay Frankieboy, you we upset and grieving I understand that.” He says simply.
“Frankieboy?” I say, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, Frankieboy. It’s your new pet name.”
“Is that so? Okay then Babygee.” I then giggle. “That makes you sound like one of those designer watches.”
“Well you can watch me anytime you want Frankieboy but I have to get back to work now.”
“Okay Babygee. Come to the coffee shop tonight on your way?”
“Course I will Frankieboy. Love you.”
“Love you too Babygee.” We both laugh at how immature we are and hang up at the same time.
As I walk back to mine and Mikey’s house with tears streaming down my face I think about what Frank had just said. Maybe it was my fault, I mean after all I didn’t try to save her. Was there a way to save her though? Frank was just shocked and needed to blame someone right? He doesn’t really hate me, he’ll see me again once he’s calmed down. If you believe that then you’re even stupider than I thought, should that be more stupid? Gee stop arguing with yourself! Think of a way to make things up to Frank. That’d be easier if he’d let me near him though.
I get back home and lock my self in my bedroom. Mikey knew about Linda, otherwise I’m sure he would have complained about me not being home as much.
“Gee?! Why are you home? Why aren’t you at Frank’s?” Mikey shouts through the door.
“I just fancied spending the night at home Mikey. That’s okay with you isn’t it?” I say through my tears.
“Gee, I know you’ve been crying I can hear it. What’s happened with Frank?” He enquires, he’s really starting to get on my nerves.
“Nothing has fucking happened with me and Frank, just leave me alone Mikey, please.” I say. Annoying clear in my voice.
“Gerard Arthur Way open the door now, I’m coming in whether you like it or not.”
I reluctantly get up and walk over to the door and let him. Before he has the chance to ask I tell him everything. That’s the thing I love about mine and Mikey’s relationship, there is no secrets. He listens to me and by the end of my explanation I’m sobbing. Mikey just holds me and when I’m calmed down slightly he finally talks.
“Do you want me to go and talk to him?” Typical Mikey, thinking about everyone else before himself.
“No Mikes its okay, he needs to calm down a bit I think.” I say, convincing myself as much as him.
“Gee, try and ring him tomorrow yeah? Not like as soon as you wake up but get in touch with him tomorrow.”
I smile and think that once I have finished work tomorrow I’ll ring him. It’s Friday tomorrow too, which means that if he’s willing then I’ll talk to him face to face and can talk as long as I need. Mikey has the best ideas ever.
“I will Mikey, I hope it works. I really do.” The tears are returning to my eyes rapidy.
“All he needs is time, it really is all he needs.” Mikey says trying to make me feel better. It works to a degree I assume, as I reply.
“Yeah Mikey, you’re right.”
Once Mikey has left my room I try to sleep. I just lay on my bed and cry, partly because of the loss of Linda. I’m going to miss coming home and talking about my day to her, and her telling me all the embarrassing things Frankie did as a child. I cry because Frank’s words cut so deep, he really is the only guy I’ve been serious about before and now, now he’s told me he hates me. Eventually I cry myself to sleep.
Frankie’s P.O.V.
I blink fast, three times before I am actually able to open my eyes and keep them open, I look up at my mother’s lifeless body and everything from the night before comes rushing back into my memory.
My first thought is if Gerard got home safe, I am still mad at him, even if I shouldn’t be. I’m mad at him because I wasn’t here, but I don’t blame him. He’s the only one to be mad at I guess. I kiss my mothers forehead before leaving the room to arrange for her body to be picked up. I’m not so sad anymore, she’s in a better place right? I hope so. I think this morning I have a different perspective of things, I have realised that she was in tremendous pain and that she’s died the way she wanted to. At home, and not alone at least she got that.
I sit on the couch and pick up the phone. Once I have finished I have half an hour before her body is being taken away. I sit on the cough wondering what I should do now. I look up and Mum is standing there watching me a small smile placed on her pale face.
“Mum? I thought you were dead! Mum you’re awake!” I almost scream at her with happiness.
“No Frankie, no I’m not. I just came back to ask you to do something for me.” I rub my eyes to make sure this is actually happening, she’s not alive? Well then how is she talking to me? I open my eyes again and she is still there looking down at me. Oh well, what the hell do I have to lose.
“What do you want me to do mum?”
“I want you to ring Gee. As soon as I’m gone. You have to ring him and take it all back. You don’t hate him. I know you don’t. You two were made for each other. I need you two to be together.”
“But mum. I’m angry at him, he didn’t try to help you!” I shout, surprised at her request.
“It’s not him you need to be angry at, he didn’t make me die honey. Please promise me you will make up with him.” I can hear the desperation in her voice, I can’t not let her have her one last wish.
“What if he doesn’t want me now mum?” my voice is as weak as a mouse’s I’m surprised she heard, but she shouldn’t even be able to talk to me so it’s not overly surprising I guess.
“Of course he wants you Frankie. He’ll always want you, just trust me my darling. Make up with him Frankie. Promise me.”
“I promise.” And as soon as I had said those words, she was gone. I knew it was for the rest of my life this time.
I looked at the phone on the table, and I knew exactly what I was going to do, it was like I wasn’t myself. I picked it up and dialled Gerard’s number it rang, and rang, and rang, and rang until eventually he picked it up.
“Frankie? Are you okay?” I smiled. He knew it was me and he was willing to talk to me.
“I’m coping, Gee I’m ringing to apologise. What I said last night, it was out of order. It’s not your fault she’s gone. I know that now and Gee well..” I pause, not quite sure how to say what I want to
“Well what?” Gee says, with anxiety in his voice.
“Well, I need you Gee. There is no way I’m going to get through this without your support.” It was as if I could hear him smile down the phone.
“Babe, I’m here as long as you need me to be. Frankie?”
“Yes baby?”
“I love you.” Those three words, said so plainly but still mean so much.
“I love you too. I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. It was amazingly out of order.” I say, still feeling guilty for my behaviour, the words of my mum still in my head.
“It’s okay Frankieboy, you we upset and grieving I understand that.” He says simply.
“Frankieboy?” I say, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, Frankieboy. It’s your new pet name.”
“Is that so? Okay then Babygee.” I then giggle. “That makes you sound like one of those designer watches.”
“Well you can watch me anytime you want Frankieboy but I have to get back to work now.”
“Okay Babygee. Come to the coffee shop tonight on your way?”
“Course I will Frankieboy. Love you.”
“Love you too Babygee.” We both laugh at how immature we are and hang up at the same time.