You're The Only One That Can't See It

--CURRENT TIME--
Grade 11 isn't the best. I have enemies, I don't have any friends that I could call close. I have my music and that's about it. I sing, I write, I avoid almost everyone.
For the first week of grade 9 I had hung out with Drai and Christopher quiet a bit. During lunch time and stuff. Not after school or anything though. I began to be very shy when I was around him. Trying not to mess anything up. I felt stupid trying to get to his level, knowing I could never get close to that.
More people wanted to be his friend and I hung out with them less and less, trying to show that it's not that I don't like him, but that I understand that they have better ways to waste their time.

I didn't know what people thought of me because I didn't pay attention, and I definitely didn't care. Until that one day. It was the second week of grade eleven. Heather. That girl who had gotten mad at me the first day. She's popular, rich and very pretty. She also hates me. Why? No clue.

She had the new girl by the arm, whispering in her ear, while glaring at me. The new girl had long brown hair, curly. She leaned back to look Heather in the face, eyebrows raised. She started laughing a little. She slapped a hand over her mouth, trying to stop the giggles. Heather looked confused. This made me smile. The new girl said something to Heather while looking at her feet, still chuckling a bit. Heather flips her hair and storms off.

The new girl walks up to me and says quietly, "A-are you Andrea-Mary?"
I nod silently, in shock. She smiles at me and hesitantly places her hand in the space between us. I shake it as she says, "I'm Camille Rose. I j-just moved here from Ontario."
I smile and say, "Welcome to Semiahmoo High school. Umm, if you don't mind me asking, what did that girl say to you?"
She smiles with me and says, "Heather or whatever her name is? Well she said that you like to be alone because you're so ugly and that I shouldn't talk to you. I've always been good at seeing someones emotions, and I could clearly hear the victory in her voice when she said it. And that means she doesn't like you, I'm guessing. Which leads to, when she called you ugly and it's clearly not true, she's jealous. I started laughing at her, I couldn't believe how immature she was being!"

I laugh along with her then say in amazement, "You figured all of that out, just by listening to her voice, in a matter of seconds!? That's amazing!"
She blushes a light pink and says, "Yes, I always practiced on my parents and siblings while I was too young to know any of the "family discussions."
"Well that's amazing. Seriously, it's a gift."

We laugh together once again. Talking about our lives and any funny stories we have. We happen to have next period together so we sit together. That's how I got my new best friend. But also we happen to have Drai in our class as well. I usually spend my time drawing in my notebook and thinking about him all of class. Not only is Drai in our class, but so is Heather. For the first time, she sits beside me. Camille sits on the other side of me then looks at Heather strangely.

Camille leans over and says, "Why is she beside you? I would think she would be the farthest away she could get from you."
"She usually sits in the back corner while I sit in the front. So I don't know.."
Then she leans over to Drai, who's behind us and says to him, "Oh Drai, I love that shirt you're wearing, it looks really hot on you." Then she winks at him, flips her hair and sits to face the front again. That bitch. She looks at me and mouths, jealous? I feel like ripping that long blond hair of hers, right out of her head. I look at my paper and act like I don't care. Then a voice comes from behind me saying, while laughing a little bit, "Umm, aren't you the girl who called me immature on the first day of school? Yeah, great memories."
Drai pours a big bowl of sarcasm when he said Yeah, great memories.

I can't help it. I start laughing. I look down and hold my hand over my mouth. The look on Heathers face turns to anger. She's never been rejected. Ever. That causes me to laugh harder. Heather leans her face close to mine and spits in my face, "What are laughing about little miss loner? Did you look in the mirror today? Scared yourself so much you started to laugh."

I stopped laughing, but stayed smiling. Everyone was looking at me. God, I hate it when people look at me. Heather always tries to do everything to get on my nerves. I keep letting ignoring her. I would usually just shake my head, keep smiling and look down at my page. But I'm now at my breaking point.

"Can you leave me alone for one day? Are you capable of doing that? Because I don't like being fucking stalked everyday. It's not the funnest thing in the world to have a bitch following your every god damn move. Fuck off for once. Yeah, okay thanks." I had gotten to my feet but now I sloppily plop back into my seat. I close my eyes and lean my head back in relaxation. This teacher always goes out for lunch and always comes back half way through class. That's why I love English. Then I hear a chair knock over. I open my eyes in surprise. Heather is fuming, she got up to fast her chair had fallen over. Hands on her hips she said in a threatening voice.

"That's it. I sick and tired of you. Why don't you just go and fucking kill yourself? Make the rest of the school happy. Have you failed to realize that you have no friends. No one likes you. You're a waste of space!"

Oh god. She used those two lines. You're a waste of space! Just kill yourself!
My father got sent to prison for attempt of murder. Yes. He tried to kill me. He called me from jail and said that I'm a waste of space, that since he didn't get a chance to kill me, I should do it myself.

I stand up and in the same motion I sweep my hand swiftly across her face. A loud crack is sounded as my open hand makes contact with her face. "I already know I'm a waste of space, I know that I have no friends, I fucking know that I should just kill myself. Trust me, I know. My fucking dad already tried to do it for me! I've considered all of this. usually when someone is threatened, beaten, and tried to be killed, THEY LIKE TO BE ALONE."

I storm out of the room crying. Oh my god, I just told my enemy my biggest secret. No one knows that my father had tried to kill me, apart from the school. But not even my mother knows that I had attempted suicide. Only my sister, who promised to keep it a secret, when she had walked in on me trying a rope from my closet pole.

Now Heather knows. Not just the whole class knows, but soon the whole school. I stop running once I make it into the middle of the field. I fall to the ground and curl my legs to my chest. I hear footsteps running behind me and heaving breathing. Camille. Then a hand, too big to be hers, rests on my shoulder.

"Andrea?"

Oh god. Drai.