Jagged Edges

I never understood why study hall was called 'study hall'. Nobody ever actually studies. Wouldn't it make sense to call it 'nap time' or 'social hour' or 'do-the-homework-you-were-too-lazy-to-do-yesterday period'. 

I guess it doesn't really matter what it's called, though. It's talking place of a class that I probably didn't want to take anyway which is fine with me.

Sitting alone at a table in the library is usually how I spend the two and a half hours of free time. It's not that I mind being by myself. I actually prefer it that way. Watching my peers interact is interesting, to say the least. For example, how else would I know that Skipper Thompson and her brother Bradley are going skiing next weekend and can't go to the rager that Tori Cruz is throwing.

But on a more serious note, study hall is probably one of the only times I'm completely relaxed. I can allow my head to fill with melodies and lyrics and I don't have to worry about missing out on anything because there's nothing to miss out on.

The door behind me opens and several people turn to look. Some eyes sparkle with interest and others just return to what they were previously doing. A few seconds pass and the person who came through the door hasn't moved. 

I turn curiously and my eyes catch those of the blond from yesterday. A look of relief washes over his features and he approaches me quickly.

"Can I sit with you?" He asks quietly, eyes shifting around consciously. "I don't know anyone else."

I nod slowly and push out a chair. "Go for it."

He sits an let's out a sigh of relief. "Thanks. You don't know how much I love you right now."

I smile when a blush covers his cheeks as he realizes what he just said. "It's no problem."

"I'm Gian by the way." He says slowly. "I don't think we were properly introduced."

"Treason." I smile once again, offering a hand. 

He takes it and laughs with me. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." I hold his gaze for longer than necessary before looking away and catching a few people from the next table staring at us. They look away and pretend that nothing happened. 

"So, uh," Gian starts, capturing my attention. "Why are you sitting all alone?" 

I look at him and make a split second decision that  maybe it's not such a bad idea to talk to him. "I don't generally like talking to people. 

"Oh." The rejected look on his face makes me feel guilty so I backtrack.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. You're um...you're fine. It's just that nobody makes an effort to talk to me so I don't make an effort to talk to them either. I don't mind sitting alone." I explain. 

Gian bites his lip and brushes his hair out of his eyes. "So, uh, how do you know Sabrina then?"

"She just sat at my lunch table one day and started talking." I shrug. "And then Jade and Ivy came along." 

"So you like them then?" He asks, curiously.

I think for a second before nodding. "I guess I'm glad that they're the one who sought me out. Some people at this school are just ridiculous."

"What do you mean by that?"

I glance up and lock eyes with him once again. "You'll find out soon enough. They can show you better than I could ever tell you." He looks thoughtful for a second. "I have to go, Gian, but I'll see you at lunch." 

He looks up at me as if I just abandoned him in a field full of rabid wolves, which, might not be that far off considering the fact that this is high school. 

"Oh, okay. See you then." He says, sounding apprehensive. 

I sling my bag over my shoulder and nod to him before pushing open the library door and making my way to the music room. 

One question is running through my head and that is why? who did I talk to Gian when I'd been so closed off for so long?

The answer is so simple yet so confusing.

It's not that I'd been closed off.

It's not that I didn't want to talk to people. 

It's that nobody wanted to talk to me. Nobody made the effort. Nobody has ever taken the time to before. 

Now that someone has, I don't know how to feel about that.