Jagged Edges

Treason (n.)- The betrayal of trust or confidence; Breach of faith; Treachery. 

If you were a parent, would you doom your child to a life of social rejection by 'gifting' him with such a name? Don't get me wrong, I love it. It's other people who have a problem. It's got a bad connotation which didn't exactly draw people to me when I transferred to this school freshman year.

Technically, school is a place to learn, not a place to make friends. The only way I can get into college anyway is by getting a scholarship. That way I can get away from The Walls that press in on me and suffocate my mind, making me an antisocial nutcase.

The Walls? My own little nickname for my history....or past, rather. 'History' gives the impression that it's over and done with and this part of my life is far from over and done with. 

The Walls contain the memories and aftermath of my brothers suicide attempt.

I wasn't the first one to find him but my mothers screams brought me running to the scene that haunts my nightmares. Amren's motionless body swaying from the upper balcony isn't something I enjoy seeing every time I close my eyes. 

Dad had cut the rope with his pocket knife while I held onto Amren's legs so that he wouldn't suffocate. Mom had called the paramedics and it's a good thing because he was passed out. We later found out that the drop had snapped his neck. 

Luckily, this didn't kill him. It just took a really long time to heal. Amren was on a strong dose of acetaminophen which he soon became dependent on. 

Three pills, three times a day and the pain would go away. Now, tell me that doesn't sound attractive. 

His dependency on the round white pain killers grew over the months and he continued to take them, even when the neck brace was off. 

Amren was eleven when he tried to kill himself and twelve when he became addicted to pain killers. I was twelve and thirteen. 

That's a lot to take in for anybody. 

Especially my parents.

Two years after the incident they divorced. Amren opted to stay in our childhood home with dad while I felt obliged to go with mom and take care of her. I think, out of everyone, she took Amren's addiction the hardest. He is her baby, after all.

That year I started at Broadneck High School. I didn't know what to expect and honestly, they didn't either. Somehow rumors spread claiming that I had just gotten out of a juvenile detention center for attempting to kill Amren. 

I'm sure my menacing name didn't help to dissuade them. I didn't care to stop the lie because I didn't know these people and obviously, they didn't know me. Why should I make the effort to stop a lie when no one cared to find out the truth? 

Besides, I wasn't here to make friends.

"Treason," My AP Chemistry teacher's voice breaks through my veil of inner thoughts. "Care to answer number twelve since you seem to be so confident in your answers that you're zoning out."

I glance down at my blank paper before examining the problem on the board for a few seconds. "Number twelve?" I confirm. Dr. Nay nods briefly, a smug smirk sitting on his lips. "The answer is, from the left, 1 ethyl, 1,2,3, dichloro, butane." I say simply. 

His face shows an ounce of disbelief before he quickly composes himself and moves on. 

I hear someone make a remark about me 'showing off' and I just smile, not feeling like coming up with a comeback. 

I'm not here to make friends. Friends would create drama and disappointment. That would only contribute to The Walls. 

If you don't get close to people then they can't disappoint you.