Jagged Edges

Gian. Gian. Gian.

The name was like a mantra that my head repeated against my better judgement. I didn't have the balls to face him and that's what made it worse. For me, letting Gian get close to me meant telling him everything. Of course, it would be gradual but the mere idea of having someone know me so completely was enough to make me shudder.

To make matters even worse, people know I'm avoiding him. L'von asked about it in chemistry the other day and I gave him an excuse about service hours. I don't think he believed me but it got me off the hook. Sabrina asked, very bluntly, why I was avoiding the new kid and I gave her the same excuse. She definitely didn't believe me and asked where I disappear to. I had no choice but to tell her the truth which got her off my case.

Mr. Rexroth continued to be understanding about not wanting to talk about it but set me to work every time I chose to spend time in the music room. Moving around the equipment, stacking and unstacking chairs, alphabetizing sheet music.

I think it was his stealthy way of trying to get me to face my fears but, honestly, I don't mind doing the work. When I finish I get to play music and that's kinda the whole point.

As I finish rearranging the chairs in a way that maximizes spacial use while still being able to keep students' eyes on the teacher, I lean back and admire my work before picking up my favorite Gibson and settling back in a chair in the first row.

I pluck the pick from between the strings and fix the tuning from the person who used it before me.

A few songs and melodies float through my head and to my fingers which play the notes softly.  My eyes slip closed as the notes wrap around me and I settle on a tune subconsciously. I smile when I realize what it is and how perfect it is, playing the intro without hesitation. Soon it's time for the lyrics to come in and I take a deep breath to give it all I've got. 



The acoustics in the room carry out the last notes perfectly and I sigh in content. Beautiful.

"He's great, isn't he?" Mr. Rexroth's voice comes from the direction of the door and my eyes snap open as a familiar voice answers him. 

"Yeah, he's . . . perfect." Gian's eyes focus on mine, a little gleam telling me that he heard everything. "Treason, that was-"

"What are you doing here?" I ask, somewhat defensive, before standing and setting the instrument down in my vacant seat.

"Oh, I . . . uh, I came to talk to you about something but, seriously, Treason you're amazing." He exclaims. 

"Isn't he?" Mr. Rexroth steps into the room and grabs his wallet from the top drawer of his desk. "I keep telling him that but he refuses to accept the lead musician's spot in the showcase. Oh, Treason, the usual?" He asks, pointing in the vague direction of the lounge.

"Yeah, sure." I answer absently, nodding as he leaves. 

Gian looks confused. "Showcase?"

"It's a thing Broadneck does every year for musicians and I was offered the feature spot but I just . . . I don't know." I bite my lip and look everywhere but at him, still unsettled that he heard me sing.

"Why not? You're amazing! You would kill!" The shorter boy walks fully into the room determinedly. 

"Look, can we not talk about it? Why did you come here?"

"Oh. Yeah." A blush covers his cheeks and he bites his lip. "Sorry. Anyway, I'm having this party. I mean, L'von and I are having a few people out on our boat this Saturday and then a sleepover type thing at our house and I, uh, wanted to see if you would come? I think it'd be fun and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I'll go." I agree, resisting the urge to grin like an idiot at this unusual opportunity. 

"Really?" He asks excitedly, eyes lighting up.

"Yeah. Sounds like fun."

Gian jumps up and down giddily before composing himself. "It will be fun, I promise."

With that he flounces from the room and I can't help but to admire his joy, thankful for his desire to include me which, ultimately solved my problem.

Maybe this won't be as scary as I thought but, for some reason, I can't help but dwell on the fact that he called me perfect.