Jagged Edges

I've never been attracted to girls. Not physically anyway. They can be nasty creatures. Gossip and envy run through their veins. 

Well, not all of them. Some girls are actually really nice. I have lunch with three sweet freshmen sometimes. But that's another story for another time.

I guess my point is that I'm gay. I just feel the need to say that right now. Get it out of the way so that there's no confusion. It's not a secret. It's just one of those things that nobody asked so I felt no need to answer it. 

It would probably make me more of an outcast than I already am, though it'd be for an even more stupid reason. 

Homosexuality is a sin.

Yeah, okay. It's like Christians don't believe in gays. You know what I don't see that often?

Angels. They're half human half bird creatures. The devil is half human half goat. All I'm saying is that I've seen gays more. Now you tell me who doesn't exist. 

I'd also like to kill the myth that it's a choice. If it was a choice then why are there so many suicides over this issue? Why didn't those kids just choose not to be gay? End all the bullying and heartache? Problem solved, right? Wrong because that isn't the case. 

Another thing that makes me furious is when people say that it was a traumatic experience that turned me gay. Amren didn't turn me gay. I wasn't raped or molested in any way. I was born this way. It's just how I am. 

I had a girl tell me once that nobody's born any certain way. She had the balls to compare being gay to being a serial killer. They didn't come out of the womb killing people and I didn't come out of the womb fucking boys.

I then pointed out to her that neither did she. That we all, in fact, came out in a crying bloody mess. We already have certain traits and the rest develop over time. Guess who won that argument?

I never formally came out to my parents. I think they figured it out though, when I put up pictures of shirtless guys instead of half naked girls. If that didn't tip them off then the day I introduced them to my first boyfriend probably did.

Nobody was surprised, I think. Well, Amren was a bit but only because he didn't know about homosexuality much. After that was cleared up everything was mellow.

I'm sorry if you wanted a falling out between me and my dad in which he disowned me. Or maybe you wanted to hear that my mom kicked me out but soon realized the error of her ways. That didn't happen. Sorry. 

It actually doesn't happen as often as many think it does.

I am not, by any means, ashamed of myself. I don't wish I were different. I don't fill the stereotypes. I'm not flamboyant. I don't wear skinny jeans. I don't dye my hair. I don't paint my nails. I don't have a lisp. I'm still a virgin.

Whatever you think you know about gay people erase it from your memory. It won't help you here. 

Now, just because I'm not your average stereotype doesn't mean I'm not attracted to them. Quite the opposite, in fact. I love watching bubbly guys bounce around making everybody's day better. The tight clothes turn me on. Outrageous, controversial behavior is adorable.

And I'm sure that I could call one of those guys mine if it weren't for The Wall. There's just something about the idea of letting someone get that close to me thats terrifying.