Jagged Edges

The hardest thing that I have ever done in my life is pack for college. It’s not even the fact that I’m leaving, and that I won’t be in this place I’ve called my home for several years anymore. It isn’t the fact that I’m finally an adult and it’s fucking scary. No, it’s the smile on my mom’s face when she gives me my going away present- a new Berkely hoodie. It’s the joy in Gian’s eyes when he helps me zip my last suitcase. It’s not that I don’t want them to be happy; I do.

I’m just going to miss them so much.

I mean, yeah, there’s an insane number of ways for us to keep in contact but it’s not the same as being able to hug my mom or kiss my boyfriend. I just want to be able to be with them and still go to school. Is that too much to ask? Apparently.

My dad walks into my room and grabs the last of the boxes. “It looks pretty bare in here.”

I look around and nod. There’s still a lot of stuff here; it’s still my room after all. But the walls are bereft of the pictures of Gian and I that we hung up together almost six months ago, the dresser is cleared off, my desk is empty. “Yeah, it’s kinda depressing.”

“Hey, don’t be like that.” Dad smiles, “This is an exciting time in your life. It’s not like you’ll never be back. We’ll see you in a couple months.”

“In October for nana’s birthday.” I nod. “I know, it’s just bitter sweet.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited to be going to college. And to Berkely of all places. I’m told that I’ve already made a name for myself. Several of my new professors have emailed me specifically saying that they’ve seen videos of me playing and that they’re already impressed. I’m excited to go somewhere where no one knows about my past.

“Are you about ready?” Mom asks, poking her head into the room. “Gian just pulled up.”

“Yeah.” I grin, shouldering my beloved guitar and following her out, taking one last look at my room.

Gian smiles widely and hugs me when I walk outside. “Happy move in day!”

I laugh and kiss him softly. “Thank you love.”

“Alright guys, come on. It’s time to get on the road.” Dad rolls his eyes and secures the latch on the trailer he rented for the occasion. He and mom settle into the front seat of dads car, while Amren climbs onto the back. Gian and I get into my car and buckle up. You didn’t expect me to go Boston without my car, did you?

Gian was persistent about coming to help me move in, and I finally gave in. “Sunny, I love you.”

I raise an eyebrow and grin. “Random, but I love you too.”

“Like, I’m really really in love with you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, I really don’t.”

“I love you too, GiGi.” I sigh, taking his hand and steering the car in the direction of one of our favorite spots. “You don’t have to worry about losing me, you know that, right? If anything I should worry about losing you.”

He flat out laughs and shakes his head. “Not even.” My boyfriend looks around as the car stops and furrows his eyebrows. “Why are we here?”

Quiet Waters Park is one of our favorite places to hang out, go on dates, unwind, and relax. There was rarely a day over the summer when we didn’t come here or at least talk about coming here. It’s special to us. That’s why I wanted to make sure that my last moments in Annapolis were spent with my love at this place.

“I have something for you.” I shrug, grabbing the box I stashed in the glove compartment and my guitar and getting out of the car. Gian follows and takes my hand as we walk through the park. Our favorite spot in the entire, 600 acre park is in the wooded area where a forgotten gazebo sits alone and rotting. It’s right next to a tiny stream that runs off of the park’s main river.

The wooden structure is quite inconvenient to get to which means that no one uses it, which is why it’s our favorite. It’s our place.

I lead him here and we step into the faded gazebo. I push him to sit and sling my guitar strap over my shoulder. “Just listen to the lyrics, yeah? They pretty much sum up my entire life dream right now.”

Gian nods and sits on his hands, a sign that he’s really anticipating what I have in store for him. I smile at my beautiful boyfriend and begin strumming.



The sound of my guitar fades to the sound of the water running in the small stream. Gian’s got tears streaming down his face and I instantly feel guilty, but happy at the same time. If the song evicted that much emotion then that means he feels the same way. I set down my guitar and kneel in front of him so that we’re eye to eye. He immediately flings his arms around my neck and holds on tight.

“I love you so much.”

“Come on baby,” I soothe, clutching onto him and running my fingers through his hair. “You’re starting to make me regret my decision to leave.”

He sniffles and pulls back, wiping some of the tears from his eyes. “Don’t regret it, Treason. You are taking me with you, right? Metaphorically but still. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll still be here when you call or text or Skype. It’s not like you’re gonna forget about me. You’d better not forget about me.”

“There’s no way in hell I’d forget about you. And I don’t want you to forget about me either.”

He snorts and rolls his eyes. “As if.”

I grin and reach a hand into my pocket. “Even still, I have something for you.”

He takes the box eagerly as I offer it to him. “You’re the one going away. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know, but you gave me this,” I tug on the chain that holds the locket Gian gave me as a graduation present. “I want you to have something to look at every day that reminds you of me.”

He opens the box and stares at the knot ring for a second before looking back up at me. “Treason-“

“It’s not really an engagement ring but the idea is kind of the same. It’s a knot but notice that it’s not quite tied, yet it has every intention of being tied. A promise ring.” I explain quickly. “I know that we’re not nearly ready enough to make that commitment, but Gian I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you. You saved me, you know that? And I love you more than anything or anyone else in this world.”

Gian removes the ring from the box and holds it in his hand for a second. “I love it, Treason.” He whispers. “And I love you. I feel the same way.”

“You do?” I ask, slightly stunned that a guy as amazing as he is loves me as much as I love him.

He smiles and nods. “Do I have to put it on myself or?”

I grin and take it from him, sliding it onto his left ring finger and kissing him soundly on the mouth. Just as Gian wraps his arms around my neck my phone rings and we break apart.

“What is it?” I answer, sighing loudly.

“Did you guys get lost or what?” Amren asks rudely.

“We had to stop somewhere. We’ll catch up.” I tell him. We hang up and I stand, taking Gian’s hand in one of my own and my guitar in the other.

Car trips aren’t usually my favorite but the six hours pass too quickly with Gian in the car with me. Knowing that it’s the last time we’ll be alone together for a while is hard to digest, especially considering the fact that there wasn’t a single day over the summer that I didn’t see him.

When we arrive, I have to go check in and get my room key before we can unload the car. With five people and professional movers roaming around, it takes only ten minutes to get all my belongings to my room.

Gian and my mom help me unpack while dad and Amren work to get the Ethernet and cable cords hooked up. It’s a weird experience, moving in to a college dorm, knowing that this is your temporary home.

Once everything is put away all nice and neat, mom and dad say goodbye with hugs and kisses. Amren tells me that he loves me and that he’ll miss for the first time during this whole process and follows mom and dad out.

Gian looks at me with genuine unhappiness for the first time since he broke up with that douchebag all those months ago. “I changed my mind, I want you to come home.”

I smile and pull him towards me by his belt loops. “It’s too late for that baby.”

“I know, I just- How am I going to be able to function without you?”

“You’ve got Sabrina and Ivy and Jade and your brother and Bradley. And Skipper.” I add the last name as an afterthought. “You have people all around who won’t let you sit home alone on a Saturday night.”

“I know, but nothing will compare to cuddling on the couch with you watching cheesy ABC Family movies.”

I smile and kiss him softly. “I know, baby. It won’t be easy but we can do it.”

We stand in contentment for a while wrapped in each other’s arms before pulling apart reluctantly. Gian stands on his toes and kisses me with everything he’s got.

Nobody wants to be here and nobody wants to leave. No one expected our relationship to become what it has. We're completely different people. Despite our differences we do have some similarities. We're both broken. But that's okay because his jagged edges fit mine perfectly. We complete each other in the most cliché way.

The sound of the door opening causes us to break apart regretfully. My roommate walks in with a team of family with armfuls of belongings trailing in behind him.

“Oh hey,” He dumps his armful onto the bed and holds out a hand for me to shake. I’m Jackson. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Treason.” I greet. “And this is my boyfriend Gian.”

“Nice to meet you.” Gian says.

“Likewise.” Jackson beams before turning back to set up his side of the room.

I take Gian’s hand and lead him to the hallway for a little more privacy. Gian kisses me one more time. “I should probably go. Your parents are most likely wondering where I am.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Skype me tonight, okay?”

“Of course.” He agrees.

“Okay, I’ll see you in October.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Je t’aime.”

Gian grins and kisses me one last time. “I love you too.”

I watch as he retreats down the hallway and turns the corner. The next four years aren’t going to be easy but this is what’s best. I know we’ll last because we love each other too much for it not to. One day we’ll build a life and a family but until then we’re settling for being undeniably in love.