Jagged Edges

My dad bought me a Teddy bear when he realized I was gay. It was his way of letting me know that he's supportive. That who I love doesn't affect his love for me. 

I named the bear after my all time favorite Power Ranger, Lucas. He's from Power Rangers: Time Force and Amren an I used to be obsessed. it seemed fitting since the bear was blue just like Lucas' ranger.

I still have him. Lucas, I mean. He's got a special position on my nightstand. I guess I just like being reminded of my dad. Even though I see him every weekend at the least I feel like I don't see him enough. We don't have that father son dynamic that I wish we did. 

But at least he's always here for me which is saying a lot. He's even given me 'the talk' gay style based on websites and pamphlets and that one sene in glee where Burt gives Kurt 'the talk'. My dad actually looked all this stuff up. 

That was an interesting conversation to say the least but it helped, I guess. I don't think I have more respect for anyone than I have for my dad. He's my hero. 

When you think about it he really is a hero. He's a man who's supportive of his gay son and if that's not enough for you he also took on the challenge of caring for his post-suicidal teenager. He has a good job and he's still on speaking terms with his ex-wife.

That's another thing I admire about my parents. They don't act like they hate each other even though they went through a bad divorce. They never talk badly about each other. They hardly ever fight and when they do it's always about their kids' best interest. 

Every other weekend I go to my dads house for a visit. Amren is with me and mom on the other weekends. The 'custody agreement' was chosen by yours truly. It seemed fair and it is. 

Not to be conceited or anything but I'm a genius. 

This weekend is my weekend to spend with dad so I gather all my favorite time wasters and take the twenty minute drive to my childhood haven. The house itself is slightly impressive. It's two storys with Victorian style architecture. There's lots of big windows and an incredible wrap around porch. The lawn is always mowed and the bushes are always trimmed. 

But my favorite part of the house isn't on the outside. My favorite part about my dads is the baby grand piano in the den. 

Dad bought it for me when he realized I had an interest in music. I've spent countless hours perfecting my playing to the point where Amren makes song requests instead of death threats. That's saying something.

As I let myself in I notice that dad isn't here as per usual at five on a Friday. 

"Treason! Get your ass in here! You're late and we've got Nazi zombies to destroy!" Amren's voice comes from the living room. I smile to myself and enter the room. 

"They're not going anywhere, man." I point out, jumping over the back of the couch and picking up my controller. Last weekend we got to the last level of Call of Duty: World at War but mom insisted on taking Amren home before it was too late which prevented us from defeating the game.

Amren grumbles something incomprehensible and presses all the right buttons to get is to the game. I lean my elbows on my knees and brace myself for the inevitable hours of screams, tension, gore, strategy and frustration ahead. 



After about four hours I drop my controller and rub my eyes hard as Amren jumps around, screaming in victory. That was probably the most mind numbing game I've ever played. I glance at the clock and see that it's almost nine. That paired with my stomachs incessant growling means that it's time for food. 

I stand and stretch, almost surprised that I even can seeing as my entire left leg is asleep. "Ren, what do you want for dinner? Dad'll be home soon." 

He stops jumping around long enough to tap his chin and grin. "Pizza Hut pizza. The works. Extra large." 

I cock an eyebrow at him. "Yeah? Fork over twenty dollars plus tip." 

He smirks, takes out his wallet and flashes a credit card to me. "No problem."

My eyes widen and I snatch the piece of plastic from his fingers. "Fuck, this is platinum! Where the hell did you get a platinum credit card?!" 

"Dad gave it to me the other day. He's got one for you too but seeing as you haven't gotten yours yet, dinner's on me." He explains. And, for once, I honestly don't have an argument.

Amren orders the pizza and then gives me an innocent smile. I eye him warily and ask the question I know he's dying to answer. "What should we do while we wait?" 

He grins wildly and runs a hand through his hair. "Actually, can you play me something? I've been looking forward to this all week."

I nod slowly and smile in return. "Yeah, I can do that. What do you want me to play?"

"Just anything." He shrugs.

I shake my head and hook an arm around his neck. As I rack my brain for a song I consider what mon told me about the dickheads who've been giving him trouble. Suddenly the perfect song pops into my head. 

We make our way to the den and I take position on the piano bench as Amren perches on the armchair next to me. I move my fingers into position and start playing softly. I count eight measures before I start singing. 



I stop playing slowly and turn to Ameen as the last notes ring clear in the semi-silence. He gives me a sad smile and hugs me tightly.

No words are needed and we both understand that. I start to feel tears soak through the shoulder of my T-shirt and I hug him tighter. 

We hear the door open and the faint sound of our dad calling out for us. Amren pulls away and wipes the excess tears away before giving me another grateful smile and leaving the room.

I run my hands down my face and follow after him. I wish I knew how to help my brother. Maybe The Walls could be taken down before they collapse completely.