I Believe We're The Enemy

Ray’s P.O.V.

I wish I could understand why Ginny is so afraid of us. I know she’s had a heard life and everything, I mean, just thinking about her going through all that makes me angry. But I know that if she’d just let us take care of her, it would make up for all she’s had to deal with.

Mikey says I definitely like her, and that’s why I’m so sad that she keeps pushing me away. I think she’s so pretty and kind that I instinctively want her to be happy. She’s dazzling. And nice. And I really like hugging her... Maybe we will get married someday. Maybe then she’ll let me touch her without wincing.

Gerard walks into the room, his face dire, and sits down on the floor so that he’s leaning against Mikey’s skinny legs. Mikey is sitting on one of our two cots, while I’m on the other one. We also have a mattress, kept on the floor, and a number of tattered blankets. Dr. D always sleeps in his “office”, from which he makes his radio broadcasts. I turn to Gerard. “Is she okay?” I ask nervously, automatically tensing. Gerard shakes his head.

“I left her with Frank. I think she feels less threatened by him because he’s so small, especially since she’s shorter than all of us. She was still curled up in a ball, still shaking, and I think she was crying but she didn’t want us to see,” Gerard replies sadly. A funny shiver goes down my spine when he talks about how short she is; Ginny is absolutely tiny, making her apparent misery all the worse for me. I bury my face in my hands, feeling completely useless.

“I just want her to trust us!” I wail, feeling tears return to my eyes.

Gerard walks across the room and sits down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. “It’s okay, Ray. It’s not your fault. She’s just scared, and she’s only afraid to make friends because she thinks she’s gonna lose them. It’s our job to show her that having friends--having a family, really, ‘cause that’s what we are--is worth the risk,” he says, trying gently to meet my gaze.

“I hope you’re right,” I murmur, leaning my head on his thin shoulder.

Half an hour later, Frank calls Gerard into the front room, his voice barely more than a soft whisper. Gerard returns with Ginny, fast asleep but still adamantly curled up in a ball, in his arms. He deposits her on the cot next to me and returns to his original spot next to Mikey. Frank follows Gerard through the doorway and sits down on the floor between Gerard and Mikey’s legs. “Is she alright?” I ask him, running my fingers absentmindedly through Ginny’s bronzy hair.

Frank shrugs, not meeting my gaze. “She kept crying and stayed all curled up like that, but she didn’t move when I touched her. I played with her hair and sang a bit. That’s when she relaxed and started falling asleep, and when she was barely conscious she actually moved closer to me.” I bite my lip as a pang of jealousy arises in my throat. “She seems to like music. You should sing for her sometime, Gee,” Frank continues, looking up at Gerard, who nods.

“I feel like singing. I think I’ll sing.” I let myself collapse onto the cot, leaving a comfortable space between myself and Ginny, because I know that Gerard’s soft voice will put me right to sleep. Across the room Mikey follows my example, and Gerard lays down next to him, propping his head up on the pillow so that his singing can still be heard. Frank climbs onto the cot and curls up between them, resting his head on Gerard’s stomach just as Gee starts to sing one of his songs. I fall asleep before I can even tell which one it is, giving myself only enough time to notice that Ginny’s dust-streaked hair smells amazing before I drift off.

Ginny’s P.O.V.

When I wake up I’m not in the front room anymore. At first I panic, worrying that the dracs have recaptured me, but then in a small streak of light coming in through a small, grimy window I catch a glimpse of Gerard’s flaming red hair and I relax. Next to him I see Mikey and little Frank, who’s wedged himself firmly between the brothers and still manages to be sprawled all over them. I vaguely remember hearing Frank sing, and despite my continuous insistence on making sure that they boys become nothing more than allies, the memory soothes me. The one thing that I miss the most about Mum was when she used to sing to me. Music was squashed in Battery City; hearing Frank’s deep voice weaving a melody was enough to temporarily destroy my resistance. I had been still with acceptance, allowing him to stroke my hair and my wet cheeks without reacting. Something about Frank makes me feel safe. Not his size, exactly, but rather his kind and honest manner. I feel like I can trust him, like he’d never do anything to harm me. On the other hand, despite the fact that Gerard has a similar effect on me, I don’t trust him the way I trust Frank.

Suddenly, I’m aware of the weight of a thick arm wrapped around my waist, and behind that a warm body pressed against my back. Ray, I think, smiling reflexively. For a few minutes I lean back into him, feeling his sleeping breath stir my hair, until I finally come to my senses. However, I don’t jump away crying this time; instead I carefully remove Ray’s arm from my torso and inch away from his body. Even in his sleep he attempts persistently to reclose the gap. I sigh. I hope he’s not expecting me to soften up eventually, because I won’t.

A few minutes later Gerard wakes up and gently disentangles himself from the sleeping Frank. “Good morning, Ginny,” he murmurs, noticing with unusual speed that I’m only feigning sleep. “Feeling better than you were last night?” I nod curtly, refusing to meet his intelligent hazel eyes.

“Good.” Gerard opens the door quietly and walks across the front room to the battered refrigerator, his feet barely making a sound on the dusty floor. As I listen he begins to sing, his voice creating soft patterns of enchanting notes in the early morning air. Before I can even register what I’m doing I rise from where I lay and walk into the kitchen, my brain shutting down as I take on a moth-like state, irresistably drawn to the source of the music. Gerard looks up from his breakfast and grins when I sit down across from him at one of the small, dented tables.

“Frank told me you like music. It seems we’ve found your secret weakness,” he says, teasing me.

I smile shyly. “Music is banned in Battery City. My mum used to sing to me,” I murmur, finally looking him in the eye. Nodding, he leans across the table and brushes a few stray stands of hair out of my face, his rough fingertips lingering on my skin for a few seconds.

“I understand how you feel about not wanting to trust people. Not wanting to have friends, or a family. I’d be the same way if Frank died. I’d probably kill myself, I love that kid so much. If Mikey kicked the bucket on me... I don’t even want to imagine.” I briefly recall having those same feelings, being almost eager to love. I don’t miss it. “Ginny, just remember that Ray doesn’t quite get that. I think he’s feeling the brunt of love at first sight and he doesn’t understand that you’re afraid to even make contact with other human beings, so please try to cut him some slack.” Gerard rises and crosses the room to the refrigerator again, taking out another can of food. As it turns out, it’s for me.

“Gerard... Just talking to you about this almost wants to make me change my mind. You... you actually get it.” I can’t believe I’m being so openly honest, but I mean it. “I almost want to have friends now.”

Gerard smiles sagely. “I think it’s too late to choose,” he whispers in my ear, pulling me into a long, warm hug that melts away half my previous anxiety. I relax, leaning my head on his shoulder, but just in case I think about pulling away, he starts to sing.