Sequel: Dans L'Esprit ›
Dear Josh,
1/1
I sat down a couple hours ago with the determination to write you a piece. The more and more times I wrote it, the worse it got. I kept straying away from a story line, and would go on for way too long about what I feel and my thoughts on you (or your character, at least). So after a couple failed attempts, I gave up. I started writing over and over again about just straight why I think the way I do about you. I tried five times before this when it was just paragraph after paragraph about your smile, your humor, your plain brilliance, but it just didn’t feel right. I was pretty much just talking to myself, and it was just wrong. I figured that if I made it a letter, it would be better. This is try #6; I hope it works this time.
The first day I met you, I learned that you’re another hockey fan. That stuck out to me, seeing as especially in our little corner of the States, we’re pretty rare. This little, minor thing make you special in my mind—someone I could talk to about the latest games, teams, and players who I was pretty sure wouldn’t tune me out and nod ‘yes’ just because. I was sure you would at least hear me, if nothing else. Josh, you do more than hear me; you listen. When we’re talking I know you’re actually processing what I’m telling you and I know you’re paying attention. You go beyond the typical, ‘Oh, this is what she’s doing’ and you take it to, ‘this is why she’s doing this.’ It’s just a really nice feeling and I feel like because of this, you’re one of the top people I would go to in case of tragedy.
Josh, you have this ability to make me smile in more ways than one. Your sense of humor is a part of it. Y’know, I’ve always hated sarcasm because of how mocking it is. It just seemed mean and penetrating to me, but when I started talking to you, it just sort of worked. It doesn’t make me mad when you make fun of me; I don’t get upset. Quite the opposite, actually. Whenever I talk to you, it might be the way you word your sentences; it might be the things you say and how you say them, but it makes me happy, Josh. Remember that one day a couple weeks ago when I was crying for hours and hours because of Aunt Francis’s cancer? You were the one that I went to to cheer up. You were the first one that night that made me laugh, more or less smile a little. You have that effect on me so that whenever I talk to you, the world just seems lighter and brighter.
Now, I’ve always been a tiny person. After sixteen years, I still haven’t reached five feet tall, whereas you’re over six foot easily. Something that’s crossed my mind when we’re together is that even though you’re so much bigger than I am and you could easily crush me in a heartbeat, you don’t. You see me and you still haven’t stepped on me yet. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid and you’re probably laughing, but it happens more than you think! I’m not an amazing person; I’m not fun, or exciting, or great, or a lot of things, so I blend in and am easily forgotten. But not with you. You remember me and to quote The Princess Diaries, “you saw me when I was invisible.” You make me feel safe and protected and I love that.
One of the best things between us in the balance. I’m a Libra, so being represented by the scales, I live in a world of equality and checks and balances. I think the reason you and I get along so well is because of how different we are, but not so much so that we clash, but we’re alike to the point where we mesh, but we’re not clones. I always have a really hard time explaining this concept in words, because it’s sort of abstract, but in my mind, it’s like an art. The way our minds work is just amazing. Your motives, your actions, the things you say, and how you do things—it’s so different than what I’m like to the point where it’s complementary. It’s because of this that I don’t think I could ever get mad at you. That I trust you. That I feel like you’re predictable in a safe, but not boring way. That there’s so much about you that I don’t know, but I’m so anxious to figure out. That I want to be around you all the time to feel this harmony. That you and I understand each other, no matter how extreme or eccentric the other is. I feel like I can pretty much tell you whatever and you’ll find a way to understand, to put yourself in my shoes and walk around in them (Thank you, Harper Lee).
There’s so much little detailed stuff about you that just makes me happy. I love that you have blue eyes. I love that you’re cocky, but you have a reason to be. I love that you’re not judgmental of my conservative, sheltered life. I love that when I go off on my ADD tangents, you’re able to pull me back in and make me focus. I love how you’re not afraid to tell me when I’m being confusing or stupid or awkward, but you’re not mean about it. I love that when I go Crazy-Cat-Lady-Mode and obsess over my kitten, you don’t get freaked out and you join in and adore my baby. I love that you’re from Chicago, yet you’re still able to blend in down here in the south. I love that when you’re upset, you tell me. I love that when I’m upset, you’re always there for me. I love that you can always make me smile, no matter what. I love that we talk every single day, but we never run out of things to say. I love that you make me feel special and worthwhile.
Josh, I can’t even put it into words how much I care about you.
Love forever, Catherine.
The first day I met you, I learned that you’re another hockey fan. That stuck out to me, seeing as especially in our little corner of the States, we’re pretty rare. This little, minor thing make you special in my mind—someone I could talk to about the latest games, teams, and players who I was pretty sure wouldn’t tune me out and nod ‘yes’ just because. I was sure you would at least hear me, if nothing else. Josh, you do more than hear me; you listen. When we’re talking I know you’re actually processing what I’m telling you and I know you’re paying attention. You go beyond the typical, ‘Oh, this is what she’s doing’ and you take it to, ‘this is why she’s doing this.’ It’s just a really nice feeling and I feel like because of this, you’re one of the top people I would go to in case of tragedy.
Josh, you have this ability to make me smile in more ways than one. Your sense of humor is a part of it. Y’know, I’ve always hated sarcasm because of how mocking it is. It just seemed mean and penetrating to me, but when I started talking to you, it just sort of worked. It doesn’t make me mad when you make fun of me; I don’t get upset. Quite the opposite, actually. Whenever I talk to you, it might be the way you word your sentences; it might be the things you say and how you say them, but it makes me happy, Josh. Remember that one day a couple weeks ago when I was crying for hours and hours because of Aunt Francis’s cancer? You were the one that I went to to cheer up. You were the first one that night that made me laugh, more or less smile a little. You have that effect on me so that whenever I talk to you, the world just seems lighter and brighter.
Now, I’ve always been a tiny person. After sixteen years, I still haven’t reached five feet tall, whereas you’re over six foot easily. Something that’s crossed my mind when we’re together is that even though you’re so much bigger than I am and you could easily crush me in a heartbeat, you don’t. You see me and you still haven’t stepped on me yet. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid and you’re probably laughing, but it happens more than you think! I’m not an amazing person; I’m not fun, or exciting, or great, or a lot of things, so I blend in and am easily forgotten. But not with you. You remember me and to quote The Princess Diaries, “you saw me when I was invisible.” You make me feel safe and protected and I love that.
One of the best things between us in the balance. I’m a Libra, so being represented by the scales, I live in a world of equality and checks and balances. I think the reason you and I get along so well is because of how different we are, but not so much so that we clash, but we’re alike to the point where we mesh, but we’re not clones. I always have a really hard time explaining this concept in words, because it’s sort of abstract, but in my mind, it’s like an art. The way our minds work is just amazing. Your motives, your actions, the things you say, and how you do things—it’s so different than what I’m like to the point where it’s complementary. It’s because of this that I don’t think I could ever get mad at you. That I trust you. That I feel like you’re predictable in a safe, but not boring way. That there’s so much about you that I don’t know, but I’m so anxious to figure out. That I want to be around you all the time to feel this harmony. That you and I understand each other, no matter how extreme or eccentric the other is. I feel like I can pretty much tell you whatever and you’ll find a way to understand, to put yourself in my shoes and walk around in them (Thank you, Harper Lee).
There’s so much little detailed stuff about you that just makes me happy. I love that you have blue eyes. I love that you’re cocky, but you have a reason to be. I love that you’re not judgmental of my conservative, sheltered life. I love that when I go off on my ADD tangents, you’re able to pull me back in and make me focus. I love how you’re not afraid to tell me when I’m being confusing or stupid or awkward, but you’re not mean about it. I love that when I go Crazy-Cat-Lady-Mode and obsess over my kitten, you don’t get freaked out and you join in and adore my baby. I love that you’re from Chicago, yet you’re still able to blend in down here in the south. I love that when you’re upset, you tell me. I love that when I’m upset, you’re always there for me. I love that you can always make me smile, no matter what. I love that we talk every single day, but we never run out of things to say. I love that you make me feel special and worthwhile.
Josh, I can’t even put it into words how much I care about you.
Love forever, Catherine.
♠ ♠ ♠
Inspired by my life.Thoughts?