Happiness Never-After

He was my one reason for being when I was alive. Of everything that I remember from that period, I remember his face the clearest. At that point in time, I had truly loved him. And now, almost 50 years later, there he is. Playing baseball with a group of unnaturally beautiful people, he included. So much and yet so little went through my mind as I saw him. 'Jasper,' I thought. The unnaturally beautiful bronze haired man whipped his head to look in my direction. I quickly stepped back so the tree was now covering all of me rather than just half. I closed my eyes listening carefully for any signs that he had seen me or was approaching. I heard none. I let out a quite sigh.

I looked out from behind the tree after I heard the game resume. I kept my eyes focused on Jasper. He looked so happy with the little pixie girl. ‘That used to be me,' I thought sadly. 'I wish I, we, could go back to the beginning. To the time we first met. To the time we were still human.'

>>>>>FB< <<<<<
A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I came across a tavern/inn. I had been walking for hours today trying to add as many miles between Wisconsin and myself as possible. I walked in slowly, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. I didn't have to worry. There were many others who were worse for wear then me. They barely even glanced in my direction.

I made my way up to the bar. "Excuse me, Sir? May I have a glass of water?" I asked the barkeep. He simply got me as I asked and then continuing on with his conversation with a man at the opposite side of the bar. It wasn't very far seeing as how there were only 5 seats to begin with. So, naturally, I couldn't help but overhear.

"I heard Major Whitlock has them Union soldiers runnin' scared," said the man to the barkeep.

"Aye. At the rate he's goin' the South is goin' to win this war in no time at all," the barkeep responded. I sipped on my water. 'If the Confederate Army won the war, well, my parents have a lot riding on this war, so they have a lot to lose.’ A small smile graced my lips.

The front door opened then and in walked three men, all of them wearing uniforms of the Confederate Army. A huge cheer rang out through the small crowd and a lot of ‘Halleluiah’s’ and ‘Congratulations’ were heard being shouted throughout the tavern. Obviously, these men were considered heroes around here. I took another sip of my water and turned my back on them. I wasn’t from around here and I didn’t plan on staying for too much longer.

The chairs beside me were pulled back. I glanced over and saw the chair the farthest from me contained a man about 5’10, longer curly brown hair, and brown eyes. The one sitting in the middle chair was a little taller than 6’, had short cropped dark brown hair and he too had brown eyes. The first two, I had to admit, weren’t that bad looking. The one who was taking the chair right beside me was the tallest of the three; he had wavy blonde hair, and vibrant green eyes. Now he was…. I couldn’t even think of an adjective apt enough to describe him, so I’ll simply say he was VERY handsome.

He looked at me tipped his hat and with a small smile said, “Evening ma’am.” His voice sounded just as good as he looked and that southern drawl just added to it. “I’m Major Jasper Whitlock.”

“Amarantha Michaelis,” I responded, returning the smile.

“Now what’s a beautiful young lady such as you doing in a place like this?” questioned the major.

“Oh, um, I was just… wondering around,” I replied while lowering my gaze as I felt my blood rush to my face.

“Just wondering around is a little dangerous around he-” he started to say, but was cut off abruptly as the man the farthest from us said,

“Nonsense! Thanks to you everyone here couldn’t be safer! There is no need to scare the little lady off!”

Major Whitlock sighed. “Lieutenant Shale is much more confident in my abilities then I am.”

“Yer darn right I am!” the man now known as Lieutenant Shale exclaimed. “This man has single handedly,” he started to say, but thankfully a few of the woman that were ‘working’ distracted him. I don’t think I could’ve sat through the agonizingly long dialogue that was promising to be.

“I apologize on his behalf,” The man that was sitting in the middle chair said. “We’ve just won a pretty big battle so he decided that we should celebrate in every town we passed through.”

I laugh a little. “That’s quite alright. It was entertaining to say the least,” I said.

“You thought that was entertaining?” questioned the Major. “Just wait for a few hours.”

“Heh. Yeah. He’ll be up on tables dancing the jig or something. Unless one of the ladies feels the need to lend ‘im a dress that is.” Both of the men shared a laugh.

“Well I’m very sorry to say that I’m going to have to miss that. I won’t be staying much longer,” I said lightly.

“You can’t leave now,” exclaimed the man in the middle chair.

“I have to agree with Lieutenant Olson. It’s going to be getting dark soon and the nearest town is at least 3 hours on foot,” Major Whitlock said.

“3 hours!” I exclaimed. I thought about it for a moment then sighed. “Okay then. I guess I will be staying for the night if they have any room here.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Lieutenant Olson said. “They always have room here. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to visit an old friend. Major. Miss Michaelis.” He tipped his hat and stood up to leave.

“Are all Confederate soldiers this polite?” I asked Major Whitlock.

He chuckled a little. “No. Not all of us are ma’am. You’re not from around here.” He didn’t ask.

“I’m not.” I agreed.

“So, where are you from?”

“Up North.”

“Where up North?”

“From way, way up North.” The Major laughed.

“I see. It’s a good thing you’re staying then. It really isn’t safe, especially for someone from way, way up North.” I smiled.

“So you’re going to stay the night here then?” asked a woman from behind the counter. I jumped. I hadn’t noticed her there.

“Oh! Um, yes. I am,” I responded rather flustered.

“Sorry dear. Didn’t mean to startle you,” she laughed. She looked nice enough. She was short and plump, but she had an air of cheerfulness about her. “It’s $5 a night. $7 if you want to have meals too,” she had barely finished her sentence when $7 was held out in front of her. The person holding the $7 was Major Whitlock.

“I’ll pay for her tonight,” was his response to our questioning glances.

“Oh no! I couldn’t let you do that!” I exclaimed.

“Of course you could,” he said with a grin. “Besides, I was the one who insisted you stay for the night.” I tried, and failed, to come up with a suitable argument. So I just sighed. His smile got bigger. “Well I better go make sure Shale doesn’t cause too much trouble. Take care of her Mrs. Oldmen. Have a nice night Miss Michaelis.” He gently took my hand in his and slowly brought it up to his lips. “I hope to see you soon.” With that he was gone. I knew my face must have been very red at that point.

“Well I’ll be. I do believe I hear wedding bells in the future for the two of you.”

“What! No! I mean, I’ve only just met the man!”

“Honey, haven’t you ever heard of ‘love at first sight’? He like’s you.”

“You’re mistaken. He’s polite. That’s all,” but a part of me couldn’t help but wonder ‘what if.’

“He’s polite all right. But I ain’t never seen him look at a girl the way he was just looking at you. Now, come on. I’ll show you to your room.” I followed Mrs. Oldmen to the stairs. I couldn’t help but take one look back. My gaze met the waiting one of none other than Major Jasper Whitlock. He smiled, as did I. I turned and climbed the stairs.

>>>>>FBE< <<<<
“If only,” I whispered. But I knew that going back in time wasn’t a possibility, at least not physically. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t able to remember my past so clearly, much less to see anyone else’s. That is my ‘ability.’ I can see the past of any being I touched, with the exception of animals. When it comes to vampires that includes their human memories. I learned long ago that if I didn’t want to see something potentially disgusting that I should avoid physical contact of any kind. It’s more of a curse then a gift.

“Safe,” a voice rang through the clearing, and through my thoughts. I blinked. My eyes found Jasper just as he and the pixie girl kissed. I had to keep myself from wincing. Of course Jasper and I had our fair share of kisses in the months that we knew each other. None could really compare to our very first though.

>>>>>FB< <<<<
To see how he moved. How quiet his footsteps were. To see how tall he was; the ease as he reached up to pin up the decorations. To see the way the clothes he wore clung to him. He was truly perfect.

“You’re staring,” my best friend, Krista, said.

“I’m not staring. I’m simply….. gazing?” I stated half-heartedly.

“It doesn’t matter what you call it! Why won’t you just admit you like him?”

“Of course I like him Krista. He’s very nice,” I said like it was the most common thing in the world. Which it was.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it! You’re attracted to him. And it’s obvious he’s attracted to you too,” Krista stated in a tone that sounded like she was talking to a child. “What I don’t get is why it’s taking so long for two to get together!”

“Honestly Krista, I have no idea where you came up with that outrageous thought. Major Whitlock is just very nice. He’s just concerned about my wellbeing because I’m on my own. That’s all.”

“You are in denial. It’s been three months since you’ve been here. Jasper has been here to see how things are going almost every day for the last three months. And he has only seen one person every time he’s been in town. You. So be in denial all you want. Everyone else can see the truth. One of these days you’re going to realize the feelings you have for him. I just hope it’s not too late by the time that you do.” With that she stood up and walked away.

I watched her for a few moments before glancing back at the Major. He was laughing with Lieutenant Olson. Then his eyes met mine and he smiled a smile that made my heart flutter like a butterfly. I couldn’t help but smile back.

Then, I’m not quite sure if it was against my will or not but, I began to think about a possible future with Major Jasper Whitlock. I began to hope that maybe, just maybe, he really did have strong feelings toward me. That maybe he actually saw something in me that might have been worth keeping. That might have been worth loving.

I don’t know how long I was just sitting there entertaining those thoughts, but the next thing I knew I was staring directly into the beautiful green eyes of Major Whitlock. I blinked.

“Miss Michaelis? Are you alright?” He asked in his smooth southern voice.

“I’m fine. Sorry. I was just lost in thought,” I responded with a small smile.

“I see. Well everyone’s outside for the fireworks. Are you up for joining them?”

I looked around. I saw that the place was indeed empty save for the two of us. “Oh, I hadn’t realized it had gotten so late.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” he asked in a voice filled with concern.

“Of course I am Major Whitlock. Thank you for your concern.”

He sighed. “How many time must I ask you to call me Jasper?” he asked with a half smile.

“Only as many times as I have to ask you to call me Amarantha,” I responded with the same half smile.

“Fair enough. So, are you up for the fireworks? They are going to start any minute.”

“Yes. Let’s go.” I started towards the door. Once I was about 2 feet from it I turned. “And by the way, I never did get the chance to thank you. If it weren’t for you having convinced me to stay here that first night, I might have been roaming around the country side still. So, thank you. For everything Jasper.” Just saying his name felt right.

At that moment he looked happier than any person I had ever seen in my entire life. He crossed the distance between us in two long strides. “You are most welcome Amarantha.” The way he said my name sent sparks flying through my body. His face started getting closer to mine. As the first firework went off, our lips met.

>>>>>FBE< <<<<
When I came back to reality I found myself meeting the gaze of the bronze haired vampire. My breath caught in my throat. But I needn’t have worried; he simply gave me an understanding smile, tipped his head, and turned back to the game. I was both confused and relieved. I didn’t need nor did I want Jasper to see me.

I could see how happy he was with this new girl. He looked happier then I had even seen him before. I had known that happiness during the time I was with him. I had given him the looks that he was now giving to her. And I truly hated the vampire that had taken him away from me, and probably the memory of me away from him. So there wouldn’t really be any point in trying to make him remember now. All that would do is cause him pain. Pain was the last thing I wanted him to know. I had loved him then, and I love him now. He is happier with this girl then he would be with me. I had my time with him; that time is enough to last me for the rest of eternity.

I turned to walk away. My decision to leave and never look back having been made. He’s happy now and that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t risk his happiness for my own sake. I’ll find my own somewhere else. I would never forget him. For I will always love him. Eternally.