Picking up the Pieces
Chapter one
Gerard’s POV:
“Frankie, I am fine today. Are we going to play soon?”
As I heard the words my brother spoke I felt my heart sink. I knew that I had caused the reaction by what I had said before. I had meant it though; I just couldn’t look at him like I once had. He wasn’t the only one hurt by it and he couldn’t see that. I had lost my best friend simply because I was unable to control my feelings. He loved Frank and even though I was with Bob I was in love with my brother. I knew that was wrong and that was why I had kept away. I had kept away to stop the pain and it had effected Mikey so badly that he had regressed in the same way I had done recently.
I bit my lip and looked into those eyes. Those eyes of melted chocolate that I could drown in. I tried to pull my hand from his but he gripped so tightly. I couldn’t deal with him vulnerable but then at the moment I just couldn’t deal with him, “Mikey, please, go to your… ah… go to Frank.”
I looked at Frank and instantly regretted it as he was glaring at me, “you did this!” he hissed, the venom dripping from his voice, “you told him that you couldn’t look at him. I hope you are happy with your work Gerard, look what you have done!”
“I… I am sorry,” I said quietly.
“I tried to help you, God I even defended you and now I have lost the one thing I care for most in this world. I have lost my boyfriend.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“Mmm!” was the reply I got as he looked at my hand locked in Mikey’s grip, “I just don’t think you care because you have got what you want!”
“How could I possibly want this?”
“A Mikey who wants you?” he snorted a laugh, “yeah, why would you want that?”
“He want’s a brother and not me,” I responded quietly, “he needs you Frank, you know that he does.”
“You know what?” Frank said as he stood, “I wish that you had left that night or that you had never been found,” he was shaking with anger and unshed tears, “all of this has been caused because we tried to help you. Gerard Way, you have destroyed everything!” he fled from the room following his outburst and I heard a bedroom door slam.
I sighed and hugged my knees. He was right of course because if I had left that night then everything would have been fine. I felt a tug on my shirt and looked at my brother, “bad Frankie made your eyes rain!” he told me as he wrapped his arms about me, “I hate Frankie!”
“No Mikey he is… ah…,” I faltered before telling Mikey that Frank was right because he wouldn’t understand right now, “just… just don’t hate him sugar, please don’t.”
“OK,” he hugged me again.
I stiffened at his touch, my own desire raising its head. Frank was right about this too because maybe I did want this. A Mikey who was too innocent to know what I might do was wrong. I dropped my head to my knees and howled softly knowing that fighting my inner demons now would be even harder for me.
“Frankie, I am fine today. Are we going to play soon?”
As I heard the words my brother spoke I felt my heart sink. I knew that I had caused the reaction by what I had said before. I had meant it though; I just couldn’t look at him like I once had. He wasn’t the only one hurt by it and he couldn’t see that. I had lost my best friend simply because I was unable to control my feelings. He loved Frank and even though I was with Bob I was in love with my brother. I knew that was wrong and that was why I had kept away. I had kept away to stop the pain and it had effected Mikey so badly that he had regressed in the same way I had done recently.
I bit my lip and looked into those eyes. Those eyes of melted chocolate that I could drown in. I tried to pull my hand from his but he gripped so tightly. I couldn’t deal with him vulnerable but then at the moment I just couldn’t deal with him, “Mikey, please, go to your… ah… go to Frank.”
I looked at Frank and instantly regretted it as he was glaring at me, “you did this!” he hissed, the venom dripping from his voice, “you told him that you couldn’t look at him. I hope you are happy with your work Gerard, look what you have done!”
“I… I am sorry,” I said quietly.
“I tried to help you, God I even defended you and now I have lost the one thing I care for most in this world. I have lost my boyfriend.”
“Don’t you think I know that?”
“Mmm!” was the reply I got as he looked at my hand locked in Mikey’s grip, “I just don’t think you care because you have got what you want!”
“How could I possibly want this?”
“A Mikey who wants you?” he snorted a laugh, “yeah, why would you want that?”
“He want’s a brother and not me,” I responded quietly, “he needs you Frank, you know that he does.”
“You know what?” Frank said as he stood, “I wish that you had left that night or that you had never been found,” he was shaking with anger and unshed tears, “all of this has been caused because we tried to help you. Gerard Way, you have destroyed everything!” he fled from the room following his outburst and I heard a bedroom door slam.
I sighed and hugged my knees. He was right of course because if I had left that night then everything would have been fine. I felt a tug on my shirt and looked at my brother, “bad Frankie made your eyes rain!” he told me as he wrapped his arms about me, “I hate Frankie!”
“No Mikey he is… ah…,” I faltered before telling Mikey that Frank was right because he wouldn’t understand right now, “just… just don’t hate him sugar, please don’t.”
“OK,” he hugged me again.
I stiffened at his touch, my own desire raising its head. Frank was right about this too because maybe I did want this. A Mikey who was too innocent to know what I might do was wrong. I dropped my head to my knees and howled softly knowing that fighting my inner demons now would be even harder for me.