Picking up the Pieces
Chapter thirteen
It took Frank and me mere moments to scramble from under my brother. Terror made us forget our differences and as one we turned him to find his arm criss-crossed with marks. We both removed our shirts and grabbing an arm each we tightly wrapped him hoping to stem the blood flow. I stroked Mikey’s face as Frank rang for an ambulance, “hang on Mikey, I am here and so is Frank.”
He looked up at me although he seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness all the time, “I knew you would come… that he needed you to get here.”
“Shush, don’t try to speak sugar,” I soothed as I concentrated on gripping his arm and elevating it. “Frank?” I stated as Mikey seemed to slide under again my voice full of concern. I slid my hand to my brother’s jugular vein to feel for a pulse. It was there but it was weak.
Frank glanced at me and then looked at Mikey whose eyes fluttered open, “we have you baby,” his hand stoked at Mikey’s cheek, “I need you baby so please don’t leave me.”
“I need Gee and to find me you did too,” Mikey rasped out, “now you know how it feels,” before Frank could respond to that Mikey lapsed into unconsciousness once again.
Frank looked at me with wide eyes, “I never meant for him to… Oh God, what have I done?”
“You were doing what you thought you had to and if it helps I would have done the same thing in your shoes. I never thought this would be the result Frank or I would have told you.”
“I wouldn’t have listened to you Gerard as I would have thought you were saying it so I wouldn’t separate you,” he admitted to me and then he sighed, “I thought Mikey was stronger.”
“The man is but if he regressed then… well, as a child Mikey was different. He took the divorce badly and blamed himself despite what anyone said. Then he met you and because Mother rejected him then…,” I sighed, “I stayed with him then so at least he had me.”
“That’s why he was so quick to blame himself when you regressed,” Frank said, “also why he took your rejection so badly and now the goodbye,” he took a deep shuddering breath which indicated his underlying tears, “I feel like I have let him down in some way.”
“You couldn’t have predicted this,” I said quietly. I wished that I could hug him without letting go of Mikey’s arm but instead all I could do was look at Frank, “this has nothing to do with you,” I said but Frank just shook his head and looked down at his still boyfriend, “we won’t lose him Frank.”
Frank hugged the arm tightly to his chest and kissed the fingers of my brother’s hand, “baby I am so sorry for this but you have to live through this. I thought I was helping you not deliberately hurting you. Please forgive me, please.”
The siren of the ambulance and its red lights pierced into the playground and as crews took over our grips I moved to hold a distraught Frank. We got into the ambulance and watched as Mikey was hooked to some drips and loaded inside with the ambulance worker trying his best with the patient.
It left at speed with sirens blaring. All Frank and I could do now was wait.
He looked up at me although he seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness all the time, “I knew you would come… that he needed you to get here.”
“Shush, don’t try to speak sugar,” I soothed as I concentrated on gripping his arm and elevating it. “Frank?” I stated as Mikey seemed to slide under again my voice full of concern. I slid my hand to my brother’s jugular vein to feel for a pulse. It was there but it was weak.
Frank glanced at me and then looked at Mikey whose eyes fluttered open, “we have you baby,” his hand stoked at Mikey’s cheek, “I need you baby so please don’t leave me.”
“I need Gee and to find me you did too,” Mikey rasped out, “now you know how it feels,” before Frank could respond to that Mikey lapsed into unconsciousness once again.
Frank looked at me with wide eyes, “I never meant for him to… Oh God, what have I done?”
“You were doing what you thought you had to and if it helps I would have done the same thing in your shoes. I never thought this would be the result Frank or I would have told you.”
“I wouldn’t have listened to you Gerard as I would have thought you were saying it so I wouldn’t separate you,” he admitted to me and then he sighed, “I thought Mikey was stronger.”
“The man is but if he regressed then… well, as a child Mikey was different. He took the divorce badly and blamed himself despite what anyone said. Then he met you and because Mother rejected him then…,” I sighed, “I stayed with him then so at least he had me.”
“That’s why he was so quick to blame himself when you regressed,” Frank said, “also why he took your rejection so badly and now the goodbye,” he took a deep shuddering breath which indicated his underlying tears, “I feel like I have let him down in some way.”
“You couldn’t have predicted this,” I said quietly. I wished that I could hug him without letting go of Mikey’s arm but instead all I could do was look at Frank, “this has nothing to do with you,” I said but Frank just shook his head and looked down at his still boyfriend, “we won’t lose him Frank.”
Frank hugged the arm tightly to his chest and kissed the fingers of my brother’s hand, “baby I am so sorry for this but you have to live through this. I thought I was helping you not deliberately hurting you. Please forgive me, please.”
The siren of the ambulance and its red lights pierced into the playground and as crews took over our grips I moved to hold a distraught Frank. We got into the ambulance and watched as Mikey was hooked to some drips and loaded inside with the ambulance worker trying his best with the patient.
It left at speed with sirens blaring. All Frank and I could do now was wait.
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