Picking up the Pieces
Chapter fourteen
*TIME ELAPSE*
They had made us wait outside the room while they worked on Mikey. He never regained consciousness in the ambulance and as we were herded away Frank had started to cry. I tried to say something comforting but in all honesty I hardly felt I the right state of mind myself. I feared to worst because there was no way of knowing how long he had been bleeding before we got there. My brother had been cold to the touch and I was convinced we had heard his last words. I shuddered at the thought because they had been harsh and designed to hurt both me and Frank. Judging by the tears of the man by my side he had struck at least one of us.
Well, he had hit both of us where it hurt because he had told me that it was my fault that he had done that to himself. Even though I knew that Frank had made me do it I felt that I should have refused or something. I just held onto Frank and together we just waited.
It was a while before anybody came out to us. A doctor came over in the end and ushered us into a room, “who are you to Mr Way?” he questioned us as we stood before him.
“Boyfriend and brother,” Frank stammered out as tears continued to slide down his face, “please just tell us if he is all right.”
“Sit down please,” the doctor said indicating the chairs in the room. Frank and I obediently sat down and looked up, “I will start with the good news which is that Mr Way is alive and I believe we have him stabilised.”
“Can we see him?” I asked and Frank nodded implying I had asked the thing burning in his mind.
“Of course you can but first I need to tell you about his condition and to ask you about his mental state of mind,” he paused and sat down himself, balancing his clip board on his knee, “Mr Way is not actually awake yet and he has been sedated so he won’t wake just yet. He lost a lot of blood and so we are giving him a transfusion right now but he seems to be accepting the blood quite well at the moment. I only hope that you found him before any permanent damage can have taken place. You said he was talking when you found him?”
It took a while for me to register that the doctor was even looking at me when he asked this and so I was slow in responding, “I… Ah… Yes, he was awake and talking to us.”
The doctor nodded and scribbled something on the page, “that is a good sign that he will make a full recovery at least on the physical side of things. Mentally though it is hard to predict the recovery because this was a very serious suicide attempt,” he tapped his pen on the clipboard as he tried to word his question in his head, “has he done anything like this before?”
“No, but we do know what triggered this though and well, basically, it was me,” Frank stood and walked off to one side so that he wasn’t facing either of us, “Mikey is very dependant on Gerard so much so that Gerard has… ah…. inappropriate feelings for his brother. I thought that I would be protecting my boyfriend by separating the two so I told Gerard to say goodbye,” he sniffed and his shoulders shook as sobs overcame his small frame.
“Actually this isn’t the first time Frank and I am shocked that he has kept this from you,” Frank spun to stare at me as I spoke, “when our parents were divorcing he used cutting as a form of attention seeking. Nothing like this but because of the regression… I should have seen this Frank, I am so sorry.”
“Regression?” the doctor was writing furiously and casting interested glances at the pair of us, “tell me about this please?” so it was that Frank and I began to tell the doctor the story of the time since before my regression.
They had made us wait outside the room while they worked on Mikey. He never regained consciousness in the ambulance and as we were herded away Frank had started to cry. I tried to say something comforting but in all honesty I hardly felt I the right state of mind myself. I feared to worst because there was no way of knowing how long he had been bleeding before we got there. My brother had been cold to the touch and I was convinced we had heard his last words. I shuddered at the thought because they had been harsh and designed to hurt both me and Frank. Judging by the tears of the man by my side he had struck at least one of us.
Well, he had hit both of us where it hurt because he had told me that it was my fault that he had done that to himself. Even though I knew that Frank had made me do it I felt that I should have refused or something. I just held onto Frank and together we just waited.
It was a while before anybody came out to us. A doctor came over in the end and ushered us into a room, “who are you to Mr Way?” he questioned us as we stood before him.
“Boyfriend and brother,” Frank stammered out as tears continued to slide down his face, “please just tell us if he is all right.”
“Sit down please,” the doctor said indicating the chairs in the room. Frank and I obediently sat down and looked up, “I will start with the good news which is that Mr Way is alive and I believe we have him stabilised.”
“Can we see him?” I asked and Frank nodded implying I had asked the thing burning in his mind.
“Of course you can but first I need to tell you about his condition and to ask you about his mental state of mind,” he paused and sat down himself, balancing his clip board on his knee, “Mr Way is not actually awake yet and he has been sedated so he won’t wake just yet. He lost a lot of blood and so we are giving him a transfusion right now but he seems to be accepting the blood quite well at the moment. I only hope that you found him before any permanent damage can have taken place. You said he was talking when you found him?”
It took a while for me to register that the doctor was even looking at me when he asked this and so I was slow in responding, “I… Ah… Yes, he was awake and talking to us.”
The doctor nodded and scribbled something on the page, “that is a good sign that he will make a full recovery at least on the physical side of things. Mentally though it is hard to predict the recovery because this was a very serious suicide attempt,” he tapped his pen on the clipboard as he tried to word his question in his head, “has he done anything like this before?”
“No, but we do know what triggered this though and well, basically, it was me,” Frank stood and walked off to one side so that he wasn’t facing either of us, “Mikey is very dependant on Gerard so much so that Gerard has… ah…. inappropriate feelings for his brother. I thought that I would be protecting my boyfriend by separating the two so I told Gerard to say goodbye,” he sniffed and his shoulders shook as sobs overcame his small frame.
“Actually this isn’t the first time Frank and I am shocked that he has kept this from you,” Frank spun to stare at me as I spoke, “when our parents were divorcing he used cutting as a form of attention seeking. Nothing like this but because of the regression… I should have seen this Frank, I am so sorry.”
“Regression?” the doctor was writing furiously and casting interested glances at the pair of us, “tell me about this please?” so it was that Frank and I began to tell the doctor the story of the time since before my regression.