Picking up the Pieces
Chapter fifteen
*TIME ELAPSE*
When Mikey woke up we were both in the room with him although we were both exhausted as we had got no sleep the night before. The doctor had told us many a time that due to sedatives Mikey would not wake that night and he had advised us to get some sleep ourselves. To be honest though neither of us wanted to sleep or thought that we would be able too. So we stayed in the room in a bedside vigil fuelled by coffee. Frank and I spoke little as time passed but this wasn’t due to any friction between us. It was simply because in actuality we had nothing to say to each other and we were too busy watching my little brothers sleeping face.
As his eye’s fluttered open he drew in a gasp of air, “where am I?” his voice sounded cracked and so I reached to pass him some water. Frank was holding his hand as he explained that we were in the hospital. Mikey’s eyes widened and then the tears spilt from his eyes, “oh God, I am so sorry and believe me that was never my intention,” he shuddered, “death I mean. I simply wanted to get you two to need each other so you could understand…”
“Hush baby, it’s OK and we found you,” Frank was rubbing away the tears with a feather-light touch as he spoke, “and I know now not to try and separate you too again.”
Mikey reached his spare hand to grab at mine. He looked from one to the other, “I love you both,” he muttered, “don’t ever desert me!”
“That goes for you as well kid,” I said as I gently squeezed his hand, “you gave us quite a scare you know. Please promise us right now that you won’t desert us and do anything like this again.”
“I never meant it to go as far as it did,” Mikey said, “it was just for attention like it was before and not out of a longing for death.”
Frank’s thumb dragged over Mikey’s cheek again, “baby, why didn’t you tell me about this? I would never have upset you if I had known what it might lead to. I honestly thought that it would help you; both of you.”
Mikey gave a soft smile, “that was a very dark period for me Frankie and when I found you I honestly thought that I had left that far behind me,” he tugged his boyfriend into an embrace and I quickly let go to leave the two hugging without my contact. “If I had known that my past would come back to haunt me then of course I would have told you,” he planted a kiss on Frank’s lips, “you are my everything Frank.”
The two drew apart slowly and as they did so I spoke up, “Frank was right though in that separation might help us,” I shuffled my feet and looked down, “I mean, not a permanent thing but just while I finish my therapy or something.”
Silence greeted my suggestion and it was a while before I could look up and meet the gazes of the other two men, “I don’t know,” Frank said with his voice full of concern, “we have just seen the effect that separation can have and I am not sure that I have the strength…”
“Of course you do Frank,” I smoothly cut him off, “and I won’t be unreachable if you need me for whatever reason.”
“I think he is talking sense here sugar,” Mikey announced causing both of us to stare at him in shock. “Gerard is not saying goodbye here Frank but he is suggesting a break. Gee, do you really believe that this will help you?” I nodded my reply, “You are always welcome if you need to see either of us, and you know that?” I nodded again.
“Baby are you sure?” Frank questioned his lover.
“We need to try anything we can to help him Frank,” Mikey said, “and who knows? In turn it might help me,” he smiled and reached out a hand to draw me into a hug, “now, you take care of yourself.”
I nodded and stalked from the room, more determined than ever to make it through my therapy.
When Mikey woke up we were both in the room with him although we were both exhausted as we had got no sleep the night before. The doctor had told us many a time that due to sedatives Mikey would not wake that night and he had advised us to get some sleep ourselves. To be honest though neither of us wanted to sleep or thought that we would be able too. So we stayed in the room in a bedside vigil fuelled by coffee. Frank and I spoke little as time passed but this wasn’t due to any friction between us. It was simply because in actuality we had nothing to say to each other and we were too busy watching my little brothers sleeping face.
As his eye’s fluttered open he drew in a gasp of air, “where am I?” his voice sounded cracked and so I reached to pass him some water. Frank was holding his hand as he explained that we were in the hospital. Mikey’s eyes widened and then the tears spilt from his eyes, “oh God, I am so sorry and believe me that was never my intention,” he shuddered, “death I mean. I simply wanted to get you two to need each other so you could understand…”
“Hush baby, it’s OK and we found you,” Frank was rubbing away the tears with a feather-light touch as he spoke, “and I know now not to try and separate you too again.”
Mikey reached his spare hand to grab at mine. He looked from one to the other, “I love you both,” he muttered, “don’t ever desert me!”
“That goes for you as well kid,” I said as I gently squeezed his hand, “you gave us quite a scare you know. Please promise us right now that you won’t desert us and do anything like this again.”
“I never meant it to go as far as it did,” Mikey said, “it was just for attention like it was before and not out of a longing for death.”
Frank’s thumb dragged over Mikey’s cheek again, “baby, why didn’t you tell me about this? I would never have upset you if I had known what it might lead to. I honestly thought that it would help you; both of you.”
Mikey gave a soft smile, “that was a very dark period for me Frankie and when I found you I honestly thought that I had left that far behind me,” he tugged his boyfriend into an embrace and I quickly let go to leave the two hugging without my contact. “If I had known that my past would come back to haunt me then of course I would have told you,” he planted a kiss on Frank’s lips, “you are my everything Frank.”
The two drew apart slowly and as they did so I spoke up, “Frank was right though in that separation might help us,” I shuffled my feet and looked down, “I mean, not a permanent thing but just while I finish my therapy or something.”
Silence greeted my suggestion and it was a while before I could look up and meet the gazes of the other two men, “I don’t know,” Frank said with his voice full of concern, “we have just seen the effect that separation can have and I am not sure that I have the strength…”
“Of course you do Frank,” I smoothly cut him off, “and I won’t be unreachable if you need me for whatever reason.”
“I think he is talking sense here sugar,” Mikey announced causing both of us to stare at him in shock. “Gerard is not saying goodbye here Frank but he is suggesting a break. Gee, do you really believe that this will help you?” I nodded my reply, “You are always welcome if you need to see either of us, and you know that?” I nodded again.
“Baby are you sure?” Frank questioned his lover.
“We need to try anything we can to help him Frank,” Mikey said, “and who knows? In turn it might help me,” he smiled and reached out a hand to draw me into a hug, “now, you take care of yourself.”
I nodded and stalked from the room, more determined than ever to make it through my therapy.