Picking up the Pieces
Chapter three
*TIME ELAPSE*
I must have fallen asleep because I slowly became aware of Mikey tugging on my arm. Confused for a second as I forgot his regression I met his eyes, “Mikey?” I asked in a cracked voice of one just waking up.
He nodded and shuffled his feet, “Frankie ended my game… again!” he rolled his eyes. “Now he is shouting at Bob and so I have come to be with you,” he crawled onto the bed to be beside me and I sat up he cuddled into my side. He didn’t notice me flinch away from him or me whimper slightly as I failed to get away, “I prefer my brother to all of that.”
I was about to reply when we both heard Frank’s angry voice, “why the fuck shouldn’t I blame him Bob? He has destroyed Mikey and in doing so he has destroyed me!” there was a pause in which Bob must have been speaking but we couldn’t hear him. “You shouldn’t even care because your boyfriend wants to fuck his own brother. If I was you I’d get out before he destroys you too!”
I shuddered as those words ripped through me, tearing me to the core. Without realising it I had grabbed Mikey and was holding him tightly against me. Was I really causing all this destruction? Deep down I knew that I was, “sorry!” I mewed to nobody in particular. Anybody who would listen maybe.
Mikey looked up at me, his own arms locked tightly around my waist, and his eyes full of confusion, “sorry?” he repeated in confusion. I just nodded and found myself stroking his brown hair. He blinked slowly as he tried to understand before he rested a cheek on my shoulder, “I don’t like Frankie!” he stated.
I sighed seeing, as if for the first time, the damage I was causing, “you do Mikey; you really do,” I tried to push him away then, realising that in holding him I could very well end up hurting Bob, “you should be with him right now and not me.”
He pouted and folded his arms across his chest, “I don’t like him though cos he makes you cry. When you hurt I do too cos you are my big brother.”
I really had to fight the urge to take him I my arms and kiss him for that remark. I raised my hands to my face and lowered my head. I couldn’t look at him. God the words that made him regress were nothing if not true. I should have gone that night, I should have gone. I groaned slightly knowing that I needed help, we both did, “please… Mikey just go!” I whined in the end.
“Gee-Gee?” he asked softly as he drew closer to me once again. He put a hand on my wrists to pull my hands from my face, “did I do bad? Are you going to shout at me?”
I looked into those big brown eyes that were filling with tears. Oh God, how I wanted to be angry at him because that was more simple than what I wanted. Not wanted by then, needed. I had to get away somehow, “not shout no but…”
“I want to be here and with you,” Mikey snaked his arms around me as he settled in my lap.
Oh God.
I stared into those eyes full of innocence and before I knew what I was doing I had met our lips. Mikey didn’t move or react in anyway. My hands pressed on his back as my tongue ran across his lip, begging for entry. Access that was never granted due to an interruption.
“I knew you would try it sooner or later Gerard,” Frank snapped as he came into the room. I sprang away from Mikey and turned to Frank, “don’t even think of saying sorry,” he snatched Mikey’s hand and pulled him away from me, “just get the fuck out of our house!”
I just nodded feeling a bit numb really. Getting out was the best option all round so I silently gathered some things and left. Nothing sunk in until I reached Ray’s house and cried helplessly in his arms.
I must have fallen asleep because I slowly became aware of Mikey tugging on my arm. Confused for a second as I forgot his regression I met his eyes, “Mikey?” I asked in a cracked voice of one just waking up.
He nodded and shuffled his feet, “Frankie ended my game… again!” he rolled his eyes. “Now he is shouting at Bob and so I have come to be with you,” he crawled onto the bed to be beside me and I sat up he cuddled into my side. He didn’t notice me flinch away from him or me whimper slightly as I failed to get away, “I prefer my brother to all of that.”
I was about to reply when we both heard Frank’s angry voice, “why the fuck shouldn’t I blame him Bob? He has destroyed Mikey and in doing so he has destroyed me!” there was a pause in which Bob must have been speaking but we couldn’t hear him. “You shouldn’t even care because your boyfriend wants to fuck his own brother. If I was you I’d get out before he destroys you too!”
I shuddered as those words ripped through me, tearing me to the core. Without realising it I had grabbed Mikey and was holding him tightly against me. Was I really causing all this destruction? Deep down I knew that I was, “sorry!” I mewed to nobody in particular. Anybody who would listen maybe.
Mikey looked up at me, his own arms locked tightly around my waist, and his eyes full of confusion, “sorry?” he repeated in confusion. I just nodded and found myself stroking his brown hair. He blinked slowly as he tried to understand before he rested a cheek on my shoulder, “I don’t like Frankie!” he stated.
I sighed seeing, as if for the first time, the damage I was causing, “you do Mikey; you really do,” I tried to push him away then, realising that in holding him I could very well end up hurting Bob, “you should be with him right now and not me.”
He pouted and folded his arms across his chest, “I don’t like him though cos he makes you cry. When you hurt I do too cos you are my big brother.”
I really had to fight the urge to take him I my arms and kiss him for that remark. I raised my hands to my face and lowered my head. I couldn’t look at him. God the words that made him regress were nothing if not true. I should have gone that night, I should have gone. I groaned slightly knowing that I needed help, we both did, “please… Mikey just go!” I whined in the end.
“Gee-Gee?” he asked softly as he drew closer to me once again. He put a hand on my wrists to pull my hands from my face, “did I do bad? Are you going to shout at me?”
I looked into those big brown eyes that were filling with tears. Oh God, how I wanted to be angry at him because that was more simple than what I wanted. Not wanted by then, needed. I had to get away somehow, “not shout no but…”
“I want to be here and with you,” Mikey snaked his arms around me as he settled in my lap.
Oh God.
I stared into those eyes full of innocence and before I knew what I was doing I had met our lips. Mikey didn’t move or react in anyway. My hands pressed on his back as my tongue ran across his lip, begging for entry. Access that was never granted due to an interruption.
“I knew you would try it sooner or later Gerard,” Frank snapped as he came into the room. I sprang away from Mikey and turned to Frank, “don’t even think of saying sorry,” he snatched Mikey’s hand and pulled him away from me, “just get the fuck out of our house!”
I just nodded feeling a bit numb really. Getting out was the best option all round so I silently gathered some things and left. Nothing sunk in until I reached Ray’s house and cried helplessly in his arms.