Picking up the Pieces
Chapter four
*TIME ELAPSE*
“Now, Gee, are you sure about this?” Ray asked yet again as we walked towards the building, “I mean, there must be something we can try before this is our only option. Maybe if we call Bob he can…?”
He never finished the question before I snapped a forceful no at him. Ray halted and lifted his hands in a defensive gesture causing me to sigh and stop, “Bob can’t know because he will try and stop me doing this. I know you are too Ray but he would be better at it. No offence,” Ray shook his head indicating that none was taken, “I am partly doing this for him anyway because it will protect him.”
“Protect him?” Ray echoed, “you think that by doing this behind his back you won’t hurt him? Where is the logic in that idea?”
“It will save him from the damage I seem to be causing Ray,” I said softly. We had been over this countless times since I had reached the decision and made the phone call, “what I did was wrong. Sadly I knew it was wrong at the time but it didn’t stop me and that scares me. Honestly Ray I didn’t think I was capable of doing that. I don’t see that I am left with much of a choice.”
“You should be talking to Bob,” Ray replied stubbornly.
“He convinced me there wasn’t a problem and encouraged me to go back to Mikey’s house. Look how that turned out!” I looked up at the building, “he should have brought me here.”
“None of us thought that it could all blow up the way it did,” Ray said, “I just don’t think doing this behind Bob’s back is a good thing.”
“I should have known that I couldn’t get over Mikey so fast. I should have but didn’t because I listened to Bob. I can’t hurt him like I just have Frank,” I paused and looked at Ray, “don’t you even think of telling me that Frank wouldn’t want me to do this.”
“He would right now but then he is angry and doesn’t know what he is saying,” Ray caught hold of my arm, “please Gee think about this for just one more night? I… I have a feeling this won’t help.”
“If this won’t then nothing can,” I told him with a shake of my head as I had made up my mind, “come on Ray it isn’t like you are sending me to my death or something,” I pulled him towards the door, “besides, it’s my decision to be here so it has to be different than being forced here.”
“I guess,” a reluctant Ray walked by my side through the doors of the hospital and shuddered. I think he was remembering the time I had been in here before but thankfully I remembered none of that. “We are here to see Doctor Bright,” he told the girl behind the desk.
“And I need to check in. Gerard Way.”
She looked down her list and nodded, “after the Doctor has seen you a room will be allocated to you,” she pointed to a waiting room and gave another smile before turning away.
“I need this Ray,” I said as we sat down, “it will help everyone, you will see,” he merely grunted in response and I knew he still didn’t approve of my plan to section myself. What alternative was there? None as far as I could see and so I felt relaxed as we waited to be called through.
“Now, Gee, are you sure about this?” Ray asked yet again as we walked towards the building, “I mean, there must be something we can try before this is our only option. Maybe if we call Bob he can…?”
He never finished the question before I snapped a forceful no at him. Ray halted and lifted his hands in a defensive gesture causing me to sigh and stop, “Bob can’t know because he will try and stop me doing this. I know you are too Ray but he would be better at it. No offence,” Ray shook his head indicating that none was taken, “I am partly doing this for him anyway because it will protect him.”
“Protect him?” Ray echoed, “you think that by doing this behind his back you won’t hurt him? Where is the logic in that idea?”
“It will save him from the damage I seem to be causing Ray,” I said softly. We had been over this countless times since I had reached the decision and made the phone call, “what I did was wrong. Sadly I knew it was wrong at the time but it didn’t stop me and that scares me. Honestly Ray I didn’t think I was capable of doing that. I don’t see that I am left with much of a choice.”
“You should be talking to Bob,” Ray replied stubbornly.
“He convinced me there wasn’t a problem and encouraged me to go back to Mikey’s house. Look how that turned out!” I looked up at the building, “he should have brought me here.”
“None of us thought that it could all blow up the way it did,” Ray said, “I just don’t think doing this behind Bob’s back is a good thing.”
“I should have known that I couldn’t get over Mikey so fast. I should have but didn’t because I listened to Bob. I can’t hurt him like I just have Frank,” I paused and looked at Ray, “don’t you even think of telling me that Frank wouldn’t want me to do this.”
“He would right now but then he is angry and doesn’t know what he is saying,” Ray caught hold of my arm, “please Gee think about this for just one more night? I… I have a feeling this won’t help.”
“If this won’t then nothing can,” I told him with a shake of my head as I had made up my mind, “come on Ray it isn’t like you are sending me to my death or something,” I pulled him towards the door, “besides, it’s my decision to be here so it has to be different than being forced here.”
“I guess,” a reluctant Ray walked by my side through the doors of the hospital and shuddered. I think he was remembering the time I had been in here before but thankfully I remembered none of that. “We are here to see Doctor Bright,” he told the girl behind the desk.
“And I need to check in. Gerard Way.”
She looked down her list and nodded, “after the Doctor has seen you a room will be allocated to you,” she pointed to a waiting room and gave another smile before turning away.
“I need this Ray,” I said as we sat down, “it will help everyone, you will see,” he merely grunted in response and I knew he still didn’t approve of my plan to section myself. What alternative was there? None as far as I could see and so I felt relaxed as we waited to be called through.