I Believe in Yesterday

Bailey's POV

The familiar sound of Jack’s guitar, followed by Rian’s drums rang through my ears. Soon I recognized Zack’s bass joining in as I walked back to my spot at right stage from All Time Low’s dressing room after a quick bathroom break. As I got closer to, I heard the harmonious voice which could have only been Alex.

The stage lights flashed and the ground I stood on started to vibrate once again. The closing song was always my favorite. The energy of the crowd, the passion in the boys, the atmosphere – it all gave me shivers.

Once I reached my spot off to the side, I gave a smile to Grieco who was standing beside me focused on Rian. I peered around the curtain and gazed out into the crowd, waves of people jumping, girl after girl crowd surfing and everyone else singing their hearts out just as much, if not more than Alex was.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I smiled admiringly out at the boys, my eyes following their movements as they ran around. Jack and Zack doing synchronized jumps, Jack running around to both sides of the stage, yelling the songs right back at the crowd, Jack molesting Alex, Jack being scolded.

As the final note of The Girl’s A Straight Up Hustler rang, the crowd’s cheering and screaming became even more deafening. The smile still wasn’t swiped off my face though, letting a little giggle escape my lips when Jack ran over Alex to grope Zack. Luckily I had put my phone on vibrate because I wouldn’t have been able to hear it ringing through the crowd noise and Alex yelling his thank you’s into the crowd.

“Hello?” I yelled into the receiver. I heard someone yelling back to me, but Jack continued to bang out random chords on his guitar, making it impossible to make out what the person was saying.

I didn’t get to finish watching Alex’s reaction of Rian chucking one of his drum sticks into the crowd and the other at the back of the singer’s head, because I was already headed outside of the venue to find somewhere quiet to talk.

“Hello?” I said again, my voice finally able to speak at a normal level. I saw Every Avenue’s band and crew running around outside, some of them working, others hanging. I caught the eyes of some of them, giving them a wave hello.

“BAILEY!” the girl’s voice screamed in my ear.

“Jesus Christ, Penny!” I jumped in shock. “What the hell!”

I made sure to pull the phone away from my ear before she answered so I didn’t get my ear drums blown out again; she was worse than the concert sometimes.

“Sorry,” she squeaked. “I didn’t think you could hear me.”

“I can hear you now,” I laughed, leaning up against the building’s wall, giving a couple more waves as Garrett and Pat walked by me. “What’s up?”

“Guess what I fucking got!” she yelled again. I could just picture her spinning around in our dorm room.

“Herpes?”

“No, you bitch. Da fuck do you think I am?”

“I’m thinking you’re Penny Cook. And you’re horny.”

“Aw, fuck yea,” she laughed. I laughed lightly too, shaking my head. “Anyways. Guess what came in the mail today!” Penny sang silly. She didn’t give me a chance to guess again before blurting, “My concert tickets, bitch!”

“…What? We’re not coming to California, Pens.”

“No! Texas. It’s prefect. Ya’ller coming during my Thanksgiving break!”

“Really?!”

“Hell yeah, I’ll get to see you all plus the sexy men!”

I tore my eyes from the rock I was studying below my feet to the venue’s back door where people started to exit. “Speak of the devil, they just came outside. Guys, say hi to Penny!” I yelled over to the group that just came out of the dressing room, towels over their shoulder.

“HI PENNY!” Jack screamed into the receiver after barreling over to me and snatching the phone. Quickly I grabbed it out of his hands and scolded him with a glare.

“Ayy, Blondie,” Rian called, hopeful that she could hear him.

I put the phone back to my ear, “You can’t see, but Zack winked at you,” I laughed.

“Fuck yeah, I knew he wanted me. I got the vibe. You know, from the whole three times we’ve hung out.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure” I played along.

“I LOVE YOU!” she screamed, the audio on my phone crackling at the volume of her. “Tell them that for me, Bailey.”

Alex and Rian had already started to walk away toward our bus, but after hearing Penny’s burst, Alex turned his head at me and laughed.

“Um…yeah, I’m pretty sure they heard you.”

“Hey Bails,” Zack said confidentially, “We’re all heading to a bar to chill with some friends since we’re in town.”

I nodded, still wanting to talk to Penny for a bit. “I’ll meet up with you guys there, kay?”

After blowing me a kiss, Zack and Jack started to walk away too, quickly followed by Melanie bursting through the door, “Wait for me! Don’t leave me!!” Her high pitched voice cracked as she ran past me. “Oh, hey Bailey.” Once she got closer to them, she started to sprint even faster instead of slowing down, and leaped with full speed up onto Zack’s back, her legs kicking every which way violently.

“Holy shit!” Jack yelled flinching as Melanie’s feet swung at his figure.

I watched as Zack went stumbling forward at the weight, almost sending both of them to the ground. “Toughen up, Merrick!” Melanie laughed, ruffling his sweaty hair. I couldn’t hear Zack’s retort back, if there was one, because they were quickly out of ear shot, still struggling with Melanie flying around. I thought about the girl on the other end of my phone. God, she would be an interesting add to the group when she visited.

I continued to chat with Penny, catching up on all the events that had happened over the past couple days. It was amazing how Penny could make so many of her stories interesting when they were all about nothing. She was the definition of a girl; nonstop chatter and gossip, flirty and pink, with the exception of her filthy mouth.

“I gotta go, Penny. I have to meet up with the guys somewhere,” I said apologetically. I saw silhouettes of a big group leave a while ago, showered, changed and leaving so I decided it was probably time for me to join them.

“Okay, but you have to text me, bitch. I know you’re not up on the stage playing that guitar so fuckin’ text me back!” I laughed, straining to make it seem real. I was really lacking on texting back friends with all the things that had been going on. Penny knew my sister was with me on tour, and that we weren’t talking, but she didn’t pester me about it. She knew I would tell her if I wanted.

“Will do,” I said, extra cheery. “I’ll talk to you soon, Penny.”

“Bye! See you in 8 days, 20 hours and 15 minutes!”

She hung up and I was left laughing as I walked back to the bus. Once I reached it, I noticed the lights were still on. I scolded the boys in my mind; the rest of the crew were still in vans and everyone on the bus had gone out which meant they were supposed to check to make sure the lights were turned off.

After punching in the key code, the door unlocked and as I opened it, I started making a mental check list in my mind, making sure I grabbed my purse and changed shoes. Once I got up the stairs and walked through the kitchenette area, I found out why the lights were still on.

I was so lost in my own, I had barely noticed at first, but when I threw my phone on the counter, I realized I wasn’t they only one on the bus. I paused, frozen in mid step, and listened intently.

Following where the noise was coming form, I tip toed through the bunks and stopped in front of the back lounge door. I could have sworn I saw everyone step off the bus when they left, but I was a distance away so my eyesight could have been deceiving.

The curiosity got the best of me and I placed my hand on the door knob, slowly turning the knob. I was not expecting what I saw.

Two bodies pressed against each other, moving roughly. The girl’s back was pressed against the wall so I couldn’t see her face, but I definitely recognized the black hair atop the head whose lips were attached to the girl.

Jack’s tall figure stood in front of me, his back the only thing I could see. His hand tangled in a head of long brown hair, his shirt ridding up his torso. At his belt, a pair of tiny fingers teased him by playing with the top of his pants.

Jack’s body was blocking my view of who he was having a heating make out with and I struggled to recognize the clothing. I eyed her dark blue skinny jeans down to her feet. My eyes widened at the realization. Those shoes. I knew those shoes.

“Hey Bailey? Can I borrow your shoes today? The ones with the red laces?”

“Yeah sure,” I looked up from the computer screen, “Go ahead, Mel.”

I stared at the shoes; white shoes, red laces. Those were my shoes.

“Holy fucking shit!!”

Both of the bodies froze. Realizing what happened, Jack took a step back and a head poked out from behind him, a pair of brown eyes staring back at me, completely startled.

“Jack? Melanie?!”

“H-Hey, Bailey,” Jack said, trying to laugh as he scratched his arm awkwardly. I didn’t say anything, lost in my racing thoughts as I connected all the dots.

“That’s Melanie?” John asked after she walked off. I nodded. “Mm mm!” he commented. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen his eyes follow her derrière with every step she took. “She’s single?”

I shrugged. “I guess.”

“Whoa, JohnOhhh,” Jack said, almost sounding upset. “That’s Lil’ Fly. Keep your hands to yourself.”

I laughed, picturing Matt, Alex, Zack, Rian, Jack, Vinny, Danny, Grieco and Collussy surrounding the helpless, blunt, gangly John. He wouldn’t stand a chance if he even took a jab at Melanie’s heart.

John shrugged, not really taking Jack’s warning too seriously.

It made sense now why Jack got so upset when guys made comments about her. I looked to Melanie, smiling nervously at me.

“Um…what’s up, Mel?”

She spoke softly, even though I was sure John wasn’t listening, lost in his world as softly sang Michael Jackson and cleaned up my mess. “What would you do if you kissed someone you weren’t supposed to?”

I looked at her, surprised; no one really came to me for advice. It wasn’t offensive to me or anything, I just wasn’t the best with words. Unlike Melanie, I was the kind of girl who thought before speaking, thoroughly.

“Well um…I guess—wait. Who’d you kiss?!”

“Someone I wasn’t’ supposed too,” she said blatantly.

I eyed her suspiciously. “Alright,” I said slowly. “Um, well was it someone in a relationship of something? Someone you weren’t supposed to?”

“No, just someone I shouldn’t have I guess.”

“Jack was your mystery kisser?” I asked in awe as Melanie’s cheeks blushed and looked at Jack. “Whoa, whoa, and you didn’t say anything about it?!”

“You’re to talk, Bailey! Look who you’re dating,” Jack said, crossing his arms defensively. I smiled lightly as I thought back to high school and how Zack and I kept our relationship a secret from our best friends for three long months.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right—wait, are you two dating?” I asked, suddenly really curious about how long this had been going on, what they’ve done and where this was going. It wasn’t like it I was blind to the sexual tension that was around the two all the time, and how it was like that back in high school too, I just thought that was Melanie and Jack. Put them together and it’s inappropriate touching and kinky talk twenty four seven, it hadn’t meant anything though. Well, I least I thought it hadn’t.

“No,” both of them said sternly at the same time.

“Oh, alright,” I spoke, trying to sound level. Pretending like hearing that the two of your best friends are hooking up was the same as your mom telling you that you are having spaghetti for dinner was a lot harder than I thought it would be. “Well, I guess we should get going to the bar then?”

Both of them agreed and they let out a breath of nervousness they had been holding since I had walked in on them. Running his hands through his hair, Jack ruffled it a couple times to make it look back to normal. Melanie took the first steps towards the door, picking up her shirt that was on the ground as she did so.

“So, you guys just…were left on the bus and decided to have sex?” I asked curiously as the three of us walked down the city street.

Melanie laughed, “That’s exactly how it went. Hey Jack, everyone left, I think we should get it on.” I rolled my eyes at her sarcastic voice. “I don’t know he was just sweaty and…hot. So, we made out.”

Both of them spoke so simply about the subject. Even as we walked to the bar, they were so normal. They joked around like friends, strolled like nothing had ever happened. I wondered if it was as hard for them as it was for me to try and act like Zack and I were just friends when we had been so much more. They sure made it look easy.

==========

“So…you and Melanie were getting pretty close last night,” I mentioned nonchalantly. John sat beside me on the couch, eyes glued to the T.V.

After I had walked in on Jack and Melanie lip locked in the back lounge, we had gone to meet up with the rest of the group. Almost everyone on the tour was there, even Jade. However, to my surprise, when I saw Melanie she was hanging on John and Jack was with a different girl. That was the most baffling of the night. I wondered if they knew they were both with someone else. Did they get in a fight? Or were they just that casual? I knew that one kiss didn’t mean you were committed. At all. But I had now known about two instances, so that meant something, right?

Yeah, so I was being a little manipulative by asking John about Melanie. It wasn’t like Melanie would tell me what was going on between her and Jack, so I ended up asking John.

John glanced at me quick before looking back at the T.V. “Yeah,” he said, the smallest hint of a smile tugging on his lips. “She’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah? Do you think—”

“What was with you yesterday?” John interrupted rudely, obviously not wanting me to ask about Melanie, but clearly knowing that I was a little off yesterday. I thought back to last night. Like I said, everyone was there.

Every time I looked, Jade and Matt were laughing or exchanging tiny kisses. I wondered if she had made a point to stick with Matt all night. It didn’t seem like they were one the greatest of terms since tour, with Matt not being around and all, and Jade had been hanging out with Jared a lot more than I thought she would have.

It made me sick seeing her with Matt, close to Matt, kissing Matt. It made my stomach turn, making me think to all the times we had hung out with Matt and he never mentioned one single word about my sister. It made me so angry. His deceit, her fraudulence.

But I couldn’t deny I was glad to see her smiling and happy, Alex not picking on her, and her not having to deal with me giving her the silent treatment. It wasn’t intentional; I just didn’t know what to say to her. In that moment, she looked joyful again with Matt.

Seeing that, on top of what Alex had said to Jade earlier that morning, had me a little distracted I guess.

“It’s nothing,” I said, staring at the weatherman walking around on the screen. John didn’t press me, but he wasn’t convinced. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“Okay,” I said softly, my fingers fumbling with the bottom of my shirt as I tried to put my feelings into words. “Um, what would you do, if two people you loved had a….a fight.”

“Gimme some background.”

“Well…they both have history and in that moment, emotions were just out of control. You know you should step in, to help, but you just can’t. And you don’t know why, but you just don’t know what to say. You have loyalty to the first person first, but distance has made it…awkward, to say the least. And the second is like, well a brother.” How ironic. My sister and “my brother,” I thought to myself. “They’re fighting, and you just…don’t do anything. Everyone is expecting you to do something and you know you should. But the first one isn’t on the best of terms with you, and in that moment, the second isn’t doing so hot either. What do you do? What do you say?”

I probably could have kept going, realizing my confusion more and more as I rambled. Feeling something wet rolling down my cheek I stopped talking and reached up to wipe the tear away. It wasn’t like I needed to keep going either; John had figured I was talking about my sister pretty much halfway through the warped question.

I focused my eyes on the T.V. screen. If my eyes had been lasers, I would have stunned the screen to oblivion by now as I tried to hold in my tears. I sat not looking at John as he thought about what to say.

“I guess,” he spoke gently, “there isn’t much to do. Both of the two betrayed you, whether you think so or not.” I glanced at him, confused. “You said you were already on bad terms with Ja—the first one. And the second one made you upset; he clearly wasn’t thinking about your feelings.” I nodded, finally agreeing with his statement. He was right. Alex was totally oblivious to the hateful comment he spat out, me sitting seven feet away. “I think you need to sit back; you can’t make everyone happy and not everyone should expect you to be.”

“But they do expect me to be.” Jade’s face from yesterday flashed through my mind, her pleading eyes standing out the most. “I feel like I should help but I can’t help one without hurting the other. A-And me, for that matter,” I whispered out, picturing how different it would have been if I would have stood up for myself and Jade. I would probably be a lot more confused, that’s for sure.

“It’s not fair to pick sides, Bailey.”

“B-But, it’s so hard,” I whispered, lip quivering. Feeling John drape his arm over my shoulder, I gladly welcomed his shoulder to rest my head on as I let a couple more tears escape.

John was surprisingly sentimental. Being a nice guy was different than sappy and in that moment I was grateful that John had a little of both.

“Bailey?” I heard a questioning and confused voice. When I opened my eyes, Zack stood above John and me with a strange look in his eye. He had already been upset, I could tell by the tone of his voice, but there was a hint of hurt and confusion in his eyes as well.

“What up, Zack,” John greeted as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

“Hey man,” he said back absentmindedly. “Bails, can we talk?”

I nodded before standing up and following him outside. Immediately I crossed my arms, feeling the cool October air hit my bare arms.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said sternly. “We finally had a couple minutes off and you weren’t there.” I thought back to what he told me this morning when he woke up. We were still lying in his bunk and he had to run off to an early radio interview, but planned to be back so we could have the lunch that we missed yesterday.

“I was at the stage at the time you told me to be, Zack. You were still busy though. So I left.” I felt the agitation in my voice rising as I talked, getting annoyed he was blaming this on me.

“So you ditched me and hung out with John.”

“What was I supposed to do?” I threw my hands up, my voice growing in volume. “Wait around for you like a lost puppy?” That was pretty harsh and it didn’t help that I was already upset.

Zack didn’t respond. We just stood there staring at each other silently, challenging each other with our eyes. I could feel the tension biting between both of us.

Finally Zack’s hard eyes softened. “Sorry,” he commented, his voice calm now. “It’s just…one, if you were upset, you know you could have come to me.” I nodded, knowing perfectly well that he meant it, but also knowing that it wouldn’t matter because his job came first here. I came along, knowing that it was work first, Bailey second. But I stayed quiet and didn’t tell him this. “Two, I feel like I don’t get to see you or talk to you. It’s less than when you were a thousand miles away in California. So when I get time…I just…”

“I know,” I said softly, understanding his loss for words. Zack nodded and I let him take my hands in his. He rubbed his thumb across my knuckles a few times before realizing he had been on a time schedule.

“I gotta go. I’m late.” I nodded in acceptance. Zack tucked my hair behind both of my ears and kissed me quickly before turning and hurrying away. I watched him for second, thinking about how I seemed to be seeing him running around more than I’d like. It probably wasn’t the healthiest thing for our relationship.

Hiding my uncertainty away, I told myself it was fine, I was fine. ‘Boyfriend’ was not something I wanted to add to my list of problems.