I Believe in Yesterday

Jade's POV

The next day, I woke up feeling like a bomb had gone off inside my chest leaving me damaged beyond recognition and the shrapnel had arrayed itself all around my body, leaving a trail of pain and exhaustion where it went. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for the rest of the day, hopefully the rest of the week...or maybe the rest of my life, I wasn't exactly sure which yet, but I knew I wanted to sleep for a very long time.

All I could remember all throughout yesterday and in my sleepless night were those words that weren't mine, words that didn't belong to me, words that couldn't ever be described by me.

I love you.

But it wasn't mine anymore.

What felt like forever ago, Alex had said those words to me, trying to get me to stay with him, trying to get me to stay with all of our friends but I had put myself in a mindset that told me that he couldn't possibly love me for the right reasons. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe he truly had felt what he had said and not just spoke the first words that came to his mind. Maybe I wanted to believe he didn't truly love me because I was all ready to leave before he had said those words. I just wanted another reason to reassure me that leaving was the right decision but I had learned quickly that it hadn't.

Alex had been right. But I wasn't in love with him.

I wasn't in love with anyone.

I just had to convince myself of that first.

My phone vibrated against the pillow, a groan falling from the lips of the boy whose arms wrapped themselves tighter around my middle, pulling me closer to his chest.

“Whose calling you this early in the morning?” He groaned, his messy dark hair tickling my neck as he buried closer, the cool metal of his lip ring chilling the warmth of my skin. My fingers ran through his messy locks, my other hand flipping open the screen of my phone, looking at the message there; a smile never fell onto my lips like it usually would when Matt would talk to me early in the morning.

“Its just a reminder, Matt. Don't worry,” I whispered, soon after feeling the pressure of his lips against my neck but there was not small chill like there usually would be. It was gone.

“For what?” Matt mumbled against my neck, his fingers falling just under the hem of my t-shirt before beginning to massage slowly the sensitive skin just under my belly button.

“Picking up Bryan.”

I had briefly told Matt that Bryan would be visiting the next day; I had to run it by him because of his duty as tour manager and it was his job to make sure it was okay before allowing someone on the bus. He had asked me everything was okay and if I needed someone to talk to.

I lied.

I told him Bryan was bored at home without Angela and needed friends to talk to so I had invited him. And he had bought it. He had brushed it off, kissed me quickly before leaving to talk to Greico.

It seemed the small drum tech was getting more valuable time with my boyfriend more than I was; it was no wonder why many girls were questioning the close relationship between the two crew members.

“His flight is already in?” Matt's head was pulled out from my neck and he positioned himself so we could see each other eye to eye. Looking into his eyes, I saw the green in his eyes questioning me but I noticed something else: When Matt looked at me, he never looked at me...the way Alex did. Even when Alex was angry with me and spitting evil words into my face, he still looked at me like I was the only thing in the world at that moment and nothing else mattered then. Matt never looked at me like that. He...looked at me. That was it. I knew by looking into Matt's eyes that he had feelings for me, but it wasn't like the way Alex's eyes spoke to me when I looked into them.

I shook my head, reading the text over, “No. Its just telling me when I have to get up because his flight is getting in at about...ten thirty which is in...an hour an a half away..”

I looked down at Matt again, a hopeful look in my eyes, silently wishing he would come with me. Sighing, Matt rubbed his hand across my stomach before speaking, “You know I can't go with you, Jade, I already told you I couldn't because of the all the stuff I have to do.”

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest after closing my phone, looking away from Matt, “Yeah. I know. I just wish you were there for me once in a while.”

“What?” My eyes widened at the realization that I had spoken those words out loud.

“Um, what?”

Matt shook his head, leaning further up to the point that he was practically sitting up, “No, don't think you can pull that card with me Jade Bates. What did you mean by that you wished I were there for you more?”

“I believe I said 'once in a while'...” I trailed off, looking at Matt's unamused face, “Fine,” I sighed, uncrossed my chest as I began fiddling with the blanket covering my pajama clad body, “I just mean that, ever since tour started, you kinda ditched me to fend for myself.”

“Well, that's not fair! I have work to do and-”

“Yeah but the thing is, you invited me on this tour and then haven't really followed through on being there for me like you promised. You coaxed me into coming and then pushed me practically into the lion's den.”

“I have defended you-”

“Yeah, like once Matt. And yeah, that was very knight in shining armor of you but its not enough to make me look passed everything else.”

Matt stared at me in silence, obviously trying to think of a good comeback but it was taking to long for him to think of a good one.

“Forget it. I'm going to go get a few people that will probably be able to come with me.” Leaning forward, I planted a hard kiss on Matt's mouth, his words still jammed in his throat as he looked at me in surprise, “Don't wait up on me.” And with that, I maneuvered around him before sliding out of the bunk and into the front lounge where a few people were sitting.

“Hey, little sister friend,” Rian greeted, his tell tale smile on his lips as the couple other people in the room turned to look over at me, one with a grin on her face, the other unsure of what to do.

“Hey mushy gushy lover boy, how's Kara?” I replied, a small smile on my face as I grabbed an apple from a bag on the counter, going to the sink to wash it off before taking a bite into it.

“She's great. And she's expecting your pretty face once the tour bus rolls around the corner of our street.”

“Can't wait to see her pretty face either. But she grew up nicely.”

“She did,” Melanie replied, nodding her head with a smirk on her face as Rian turned to look at her with a confused look on his. Melanie shrugged, giving him a thumbs up with one of her hands, “Congrats man. That's one hot piece of ass you got there. If I had a dick, Kara would be at the top of my list.”

I made a noise of agreement as all eyes turned back to me, “Mine too...well, besides your sexy self, Mel.” I winked over at her as she smirked, both boys in the room not exactly sure if to take what we were saying seriously or not.

“Well, in that case, I change my mind. You're at the top. The Kara...then probably Cameron Diaz.”

“I'd say...Emma Watson. I'm a Harry Potter nerd.”

“Dude, same. I'd tap that in a heart beat.”

“I'm not sure if I should fantasize about them being with other woman and each other or to be completely weirded out for sitting here.”

My eyes went over to the boy sitting extremely close to the brown haired girl, his face holding a goofy grin as he looked over at Rian. His hair was straight and slowly starting to lose the highlights that I had grown fond of over the years, but his brown puppy dog eyes were showing how uncomfortable he really was with me being in the room with him. Jack Barakat was someone I wanted back on my team but hadn't really gotten the chance to woo back. If anything, I missed Jack's friendship more than Matt's presence...I wasn't exactly how much that was though but it seemed like a lot to me.

I smiled, hoping to get him comfortable with talking to me, “No, its definitely something to fantasize about. Melanie and I are hot shit.”

“Well...that's true,” Jack grinned, looking over at me with his goofy grin that seemed to be rising slowly up his cheeks even more.

“As are you Jack. You grew up nice,” I commented, winking playfully over at him as Rian laughed, rolling his eyes at the two of us.

“I would say the same, but Melanie practically told you what I think about you now...You're on top...of my list...and me. In my dreams.”

“Yeah because that would never happen in real life,” Melanie said, rolling her eyes as she looked over at me with an expression I couldn't exactly read. Was it...jealousy?

“Don't be so sure about that, Mel,” Rian commented, laughing slightly, “I mean, with Jack's energy and Jade's bad ass-ness, they'd probably go for a while.”

I smirked over at Jack before looking over at Mel who held a look of pure distaste.

“Well, if we're on the topic of whose good in bed, I can't deny that I'm awesome,” I commented, nodding my head before taking another bite of my apple.

“Gross! I told you, Jade, I don't wanna hear about you and my brother...in bed...together...doing things without clothes.”

“I never said anything about Matt and me in bed together doing things without clothes, Mel.”

“Well now you did!” She exclaimed, a grossed out look on her face as I smirked over at her.

“He is great in bed though.”

“Jade! Gross!”

“Atta boy, Matt!” Jack yelled, pumping his fist in the air causing Rian and I to burst into laughter.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I looked at the time; if I left now, I would be able to make it to the airport with minutes to spare depending on if I got lost or not on the way.

“Going somewhere, Jay?” My head snapped up as I closed my phone looking over Rian as he raised an eyebrow in my direction.

“Kinda,” I shrugged, pocketing my phone, “ My friend Bryan is flying in today and I have to pick him up later.”

“Is Matt going with you?”

“No.”

“Then I'll go with you,” He said, standing up and wiping off his pajama pants before smiling over at me.

“Yeah, me too,” Mel said, standing up as well in her oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts. She looked down at Jack who looked a little uneasy, probably deciding on whether he wanted to go or not.

“Well...I don't know if you want me to be there with you or not...” Jack mumbled, looking over at me with a face that told me how nervous he was for my decision; I had never known Jack to be nervous, let alone aroud me but I had an idea of why he was so uncomfortable.

“I'd love for you to come Jack Attack.” A grin burst onto his mouth and he stood up at well, already dressed for the day.

“Then I will happily escort you to the airport, Lady Jade-y.” I chuckled softly, shaking my head as I through away the eaten apple before watching Melanie and Rian walk off the bus to grab clothes for the day, leaving me alone with Jack.

“I'm sorry...about how I treated you, you know,” Jack mumbled, looking over at me with all seriousness in his eyes.

I nodded, “I figured, Jack.”

“I mean, Alex is my best friend and so is Bailey and...it really hurt them....you being back so I kinda felt like I had to side with them, but...I'm really happy you're back Jade. I am. Not so happy you're with Matt because you and Alex should be having babies right about now...but whatever makes you happy, makes me happy...because we're friends...right?” Jack said, his eyes hopeful as he looked at me.

A smile broke out on my face as I looked at him, nodding my head in direction, “Yeah, Jack. We're the best of friends.”

“And you'll be my queen?” He smirked, walking forward and grabbing my hand in his as I rolled my eyes.

“Sorry, kid, I don't go for lanky guitarists...but I know someone who might.”

“Who?” Jack asked, walking with me out the door, his hand dropping from mine as my gaze flitted to the small brown haired girl who was struggling with open her duffel bag. A small blush flew across his large nose before a smile went onto his lips, his hands pushing me away from him in a playful manner as he went to go help Melanie with opening her bag.

Rian pulled my own duffel bag from the bottom of the bus as He put his bag away, his clothes in hand. I nodded toward him in thanks, unzipping my bag and pulling out a pair of jeans as well as a pair of boots I hadn't gotten the chance to wear. I scrounged through my bag, hoping to find a t-shirt to wear but unsuccessful with my search.

“Can't find a shirt?” Rian chuckled, looking down at me, his piano teeth flashing in my direction. I sighed, nodding my head as my fingers not holding my clothes ran through my hair.

“I'm gonna run over to The Maine's van and ask if Garrett has anything I could wear with this, oh!” I exclaimed, pulling a black vest from the depths of my bag, “And this.”

With that, I zipped back up my bag, pushing it back under the bus before sprinting in the direction of the off white and very scribbled van where a group of boys were scrounging about, pulling on t-shirts and some jeans. As I walked over a chorus of hellos welcomed me, some eyes looking over my pair of pajama shorts and oversized band tee.

“Hey Garrett,” I said, walking over to the blue eyed bassist who smiled in my direction.

“Hey Jade...nice outfit. See you're going for the just out of bed look. Looks great, might I add,” He smiled, pulling his t-shirt over his head in the process.

“Ha ha, Gary. Funny. No, I was wondering if you had something that would go with this.”

I held up my clothing articles and Garrett looked at them for a moment before nodding, reaching into his bag and grabbing an off white tank top with a large feather on the front. “Perfect. Thanks, love you.”

“Are you going somewhere?” He asked, looking over at me as pushed him out of the way before getting into their van and shutting the door before beginning to change.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Because you are in an awful big hurry to get dressed quickly.” I looked up and he and a couple other members of his band were looking in through the window, smirks on their faces as I flipped them off.

“Pervs!”

“Not every day we get a hot stripping girl in the van,” Kennedy smirked, looking over at John who shook his head.

“Not every day for you Kennedy.”

Quickly I pulled the tank top over my body and opened the door, climbing out of the van and pulling on the vest before starting to tie up my boot laces.

“Where are you going?” Garrett asked.

“Airport. Bryan's coming today.”

“Can I come?” I looked up at Garrett, a small smile on both our faces as I nodded, watching as he pumped the air in happiness, “Do you have a transportation vehicle because we can use the van here.” He patted the side of the van as he spoke.

I nodded, “Yeah, the van would be cool.”

“What, are you two planning the space where you'll sneak off to do the deed?” I looked over at Jared as he walked closer a smile on his lips as he pulled me into a hug.

“Well, that and we need a van to transport all the people I'm bringing to the airport to pick up my friend Bryan.”

“Oh, sweet, can I come?” Jared asked, looking over at me as I shrugged and nodded.

I just hoped that with all the people I was bringing, Bryan would be able to actually fit in the car.

-----------------------

“There he is!” I exclaimed, pointing in the direction of a boy with shaggy brunette hair, one hand messing with it while the other was holding his backpack on his shoulder.

Quickly, I sprinted from the group, pushing passed various people as I made my way toward my best friend, his blue eyes scanning the crowd for me as well. Finally, when I was a little bit closer to him, his eyes met mine and a smile broke out on his face, his lip ring tugging in the direction of his lips as he dropped his backpack to the ground, opening his arms for me to jump into. We finally made contact, my legs wrapping around his middle as my arms went around his neck. A chuckle rumbled in his chest as his arms slowly coiled around my waist holding me up.

“Hey, Jade,” He whispered, kissing my head softly in a way that I knew was meant to comfort me. I could always expect Bryan to know what I needed.

“I want to tell you about so many things but I can't right now because I brought a bunch of people with me.”

“Is that why there's a bunch of people staring at us right now?” I slowly turned my head, looking over at the group of people I had brought along with curious looks on their faces.

“Yeah that's them,” I nodded, pulling myself from Bryan's arms and jumping down off of his body, turning to face the group with a smile on my face.

“So I'm guessing this is Bryan?” Rian said, his eyebrow raised as he chuckled softly, his chest rumbling.

I nodded, “Guys, this is my best friend-”

“Hey!”

“-besides Melanie-”

“Hey!”

“-and Garrett. Bryan Hunter, these people are Melanie Flyzik,” I pointed to Melanie who walked forward, catching Bryan's hand and shaking it.

“Who also finds you extremely attractive and hopes to God that you might be single,” Melanie said, a desperate tone to her voice as her eyes flickered up and down Bryan's skinny jeans and tight shirt attire.

Bryan chuckled, shaking his head with his crooked grin attached to his lips, “Sorry. I've been caught hook, line and sinker by someone.” Melanie cursed under her breathe before backing up near Jack who had a jealous look on his face.

“This is Jack Barakat,” I announced, Jack's face lighting up in a smile as he shook Bryan's hand. Bryan gave me a look, one that surely read how confused he was on Jack's presence there because last time we had spoken, the two of us hadn't been on speaking terms.

“Happened this morning,” I whispered to which Bryan nodded his head and smiled over at Jack.

I introduced the rest of the group, each welcomed with a smile from Bryan and a look that easily distinguished them from the rest, recognition for what they had done for his friend over the passed few weeks. Bryan was easily able to read people, which was why he was so good when giving me advice and figuring me out. It was also what brought us closer together as friends.

“Well, I'm starved. Any rock star wanna buy a dude who just threw together a flight in under twenty four hours some food?” Jack's hand flew up and all of us scrambled back into the van with Bryan's luggage before stopping at a McDonald's close by and going inside.

After we each had gotten our food, Jack paying for Bryan's food, we gathered around a table and began digging into our individual meals.

“So, Bryan, Jade hasn't really told us much about you,” Jared said, shoving a fry into his mouth.

“Well, that's 'cause there isn't much to tell.”

“There is because you're super hot,” Melanie blurted before shoving a chicken nugget into her mouth.

Bryan laughed, taking a sip of his drink before speaking, “Well, Jade and I met in high school. We were kinda friends but she mostly hung out with this girl Mandy Greenwood so I wouldn't have considered us the best of friends. We kinda got into a lot of fights with kids in high school so a lot of people were scared of us.”

I looked over at the rest of the group: Jack, Rian and Melanie had looks that obviously meant that they were remembering the fight had back in high school with the bimbos. Jared and Garrett were kind of surprised to hear that I had participated in fighting during high school.

“Well, once Jade left, we lost touch but when she got back, I realized how much she needed a friend so the rest is mostly history from there.”

“What about your girlfriend?” Melanie asked, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow; she was very persistent with Bryan's love life and I was trying so hard not to laugh at her love drunk face.

“Her name is Angela. I met her a couple days after Jade left to go back to Maryland and asked her out a couple days after that. We've been dating for over a year now...and...” He looked over at me through his peripheral vision, a hand running through his brown hair, “we're kind of expecting a baby later next year.”

My eyes would have literally popped out of my head if my life was a cartoon. I choked on the soda I had been drinking, sputtering out random sounds I stared over at Bryan who was now patting my back with an apologetic smile on his face.

“Y-You're what!?” I exclaimed, my eyes wide as I waited the explanation of my friend.

“I meant to call you, but everything was so hectic once we found out and with school and all...life was a little crazy. Plus...I figured you'd be busy.”

“Bryan, this is huge!”

“Just like his girlfriend in a couple months,” Garrett mumbled under his breath to which he earned a swift kick under the table from me.

“Well, congrats you bastard! You're kids are gonna be frickin' adorable.”

“And-” Jack quickly covered Melanie's mouth, preventing her from complimenting Bryan on his looks once more.

“Do you have names picked out yet?” I asked, looking over at him as he nodded.

“Yup. James if its a boy, Emma if its a girl,” Bryan smiled, his hand cupping his drink as he took another sip.

“Do you know what its gonna be yet?” Garrett asked, a swift hit to the back of his head coming from Jared soon after.

“No, stupid. She just got pregnant. You don't know that shit until later,” Jared said, rolling his eyes as Garrett mouthed a soft 'oh'.

“Well, I want it to be a girl and Angela wants a boy so whatever happens, happens right?”

Everyone began talking after that, Bryan shortly becoming part of the group as we laughed and shared stories with one another but I couldn't help but repeat Bryan's words back in my head.

Whatever happens, happens.