I Believe in Yesterday

Bailey's POV

The bell on the diner door chimed as Vinny, Greico, Zack and I walked out of it. The Texas afternoon sun warmed us up from the chilly café, our stomachs were full of lunch and we were all in a decently chipper mood. We had woken up to an empty bus; Rian, Jade, Jack and Melanie gone. With Jack and Melanie gone, it made the morning a lot quieter but a hung over Vinny was almost as good.

After reuniting with Lisa through the morning hours and having a good long chat about how our lives have been, saved for a few probably important details about my sister, Alex took her out to lunch and left the four of us alone. I’m sure the three boys could have found some work to do, but instead we decided to grab some lunch. The entire hour we were there, the boys continues to crack joke after joke, poking fun of everything and everyone and it put me in the best mood.

It had felt good to laugh again; I laughed so hard I had gotten my ab workout in for the day. I spent all day locked up inside my head with gut wrenching thoughts tumbling around up there. They wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t think about them so much, but that’s all I did. Yesterday I added civilized conversations with Jade to my wonders and it just became a mess.

Zack and I fell in step together behind Greico and Vinny as we walked the short distance back to the venue from the diner. We were all excited because we would be getting to stay in a hotel room the next couple days, away from the squishy bus but still with all of our tour friends. As we strolled down the sidewalk, both me and Zack listening to Vinny and Greico bicker about wearing black shirts and skinny jeans in warm weather, I felt a balmy sensation latch into my fingers. When I looked down, I was surprised to see Zack had grabbed my hand.

For one thing, we were never big on PDA and for another it puzzled me how affectionate he was being. It wasn’t new that we were on edge with each other and even outsiders were able to see it now. Whatever his reason being, I liked it. It sent a warming shock through my stomach, down my arms and up to my smile. It was nice and refreshing so I tightened my grip and we finished our walk, me trying to push out the endless questions running through my head as we did.

When my phone buzzed in my pocket, I let go of Zack’s strong, but kind of tense, hand and eagerly checked my cell.

“Hey guys, Penny says she’s ‘standing outside of the venue like a creeper.’”

Greico looked back at me a little confused. “Who’s Penny? Have you picked up on Jack’s annoying habit of creating stories for inanimate objects or…?”

My mind quickly flashed to the inanimate peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Jack made be a therapist to my boobs yesterday, acting out a scene with it all, before getting back on subject. “She’s my roommate at Sanford. She got show tickets when she found out we’d be in Texas for a while, but Matt turned around and got her a pass like us so she’ll be hanging out with us.” We had made it back to the parking lot and I hadn’t seen any signs of Penny yet so we continued to trek to the bus. “She’s super…awesome. Kind of weird, very loud and swears too much but is undeniably adorable.”

“I wanna meet this chick!” Vinny said with an interested look on his face.

“Yeah…we’ll see about that,” Zack joked. “She’s a handful.”

“OF SEXY!” someone yelled from a distance but before I could look to see who had said anything, a flash of platinum blonde barreled towards me. The girl hung off me like she was a koala bear and I was the tree. “Oh my fucking god Bailey!! I missed you! You giant ball of ass you never call me!! How the fuck am I supposed to know that you’re alive?! That your sexy motherfucking ass wipe boyfriend hasn’t abducted you?! Do you know what you do to me?! Do you know?! Bailey fucking Olivia fucking Bates! Answer your roommate!!!”

She continued to make a scene, sniffling once and a while for effect. Finally I shook her off and we exchanged a proper hug, her jumping up and down excitedly. After a while we separated and she looked around at the three boys’ faces, two of them looking at her like she had a third ear.

She stood cheerily before them, hands on her hips. “Penny Cook is the name, drama’s the game, and S & M? No shame.” Her southern drawl hadn’t been anything but extreme as she held out her hand proudly to Grieco. He stared back, mystified at Penny’s actions, and shook her hand robotically.

“This is Alex Grieco but call him Grieco,” I said laughing, walking over to introduce the two since Grieco wasn’t going to. Slowly a smile formed on his face and his eyebrows separated as Penny gave him a flirtatious wink. “This is Vincent Petrocelli—”

“Bitch, call me Vinny!” he glared at me and I smugly smirked back, knowing Penny would now call him Vincent the entire time.

“Hey, Vincent,” Penny smiled, shaking his one hand with both of hers enthusiastically. She then turned to Zack. “Zachary Merrick!” she screeched. Penny went to junk punch him, making Zack flinch and scramble to cover his crotch but instead she socked him in the chin lightly, giggling as she did. “You didn’t think I would really do that, would you, Zack? After the whole three times we’ve talked to each other? Come on now!” Zack went in and put her in a choke hold, ruffling her perfectly straightened hair. “Hey, just because I threatened your nuts doesn’t mean I won’t actually do it. Watch it, fucka.”

Beside her, Greico laughed and Vinny started walking away to get to work, an amused look on his face. Penny straightened out the red jumper she had on over a pair of back lacey tights On her feet were a pair of combat boots and in her hair that she was in the middle of fixing was a red lily.

“Hey, I know him,” Penny squinted into the distance at the approaching tour manager, a Mickey Mouse pen in one hand and a clip board in the other.

“Waddup, Penny,” Matt greeted tiredly not ready to deal with Penny’s antics. “Okay here is Penny’s pass, the rest of you already have your tags?” he asked rhetorically. He seemed edgy and little wearier and annoyed than usual. “Jade, Jack, Rian and Melanie are at the airport picking someone up and I don’t know where they are right now. So when you see them, make sure you relay the information to them as well: tonight we’ll be staying in the hotel down the street so be back on the bus by eleven so we can go—”

Someone walked by from Mayday Parade’s crew and shouted “PARTY!!” whilst holding up a rock and roll sign with his hands and shaking his tongue all over the place.

“Fuck yeah, dude!” Penny yelled back, thoroughly enjoying everything about the tour so far. When she turned back she was laughing, “I don’t even know who the fuck that is!” She continued to giggle with everyone watching her, soaking up all of ‘Penny’.

Greico had a pondering face as he spoke, “Wow. You really are adorable in a weird way…”

Penny turned and smiled wryly. “I’m not only adorable; I’m funky in—”

“Okay!” Matt interrupted. “Anyways. Be back here at eleven so we can go to the hotel. Zack and Bailey, you are in a room together. Greico, you’re with Colussy and Penny... I…didn’t get a room for you.” She shrugged unfazed and Matt didn’t seem to care either.

“Okay!” I said excitedly as Matt walked away. “How about we go find Jack, Alex and Rian? I’m sure they’d love to see you again. Plus you can meet Lisa.”

We started to walk towards the venue where we hoped we’d run into someone. “Lisa?”

“Alex’s girlfriend,” Zack clarified.

“Oo la la! Alex’s girl and Jade on the same tour? This is rich!” she exclaimed, knowing full well that it really wasn’t and wouldn’t be from all the stories I had told her.

“I wouldn’t say ‘rich’…More of a fuck fest of emotions,” Greico commented dryly beside her.

“I like you,” Penny said smiling. “But I don’t like calling you Grieco. It’s like…you’re a lizard or something…like a gecko. I’m calling you Alex. It’s seems more sexy and sophisticated,” she said. Greico beamed but Penny hardly noticed because she was already going again. “Speaking of Alex! Hi Alexander!”

We rounded the corner of All Time Low’s dressing room, Alex was lounging on the sofa and Lisa was beside him, each of them casually on their phones and chatting before Penny interrupted.

“Well I’ll be,” Alex smirked, suddenly developing a southern accent to talk along with Penny. “It’s Penny fucking Cook. How ya doin, doll?”

“Fuck you,” Penny smiled, going over to hug Alex and to introduce herself, full-fledged, to Lisa.

The entire afternoon we spent in the venue’s dressing room. Penny and I got caught up and she made plenty of new friends. It was sometimes hard to believe that her parents were as snooty as they were when she was as lax as a dog on a hot day.

The entire time Zack and I kept our distance as a feeling of tension arose between us again. It was almost as if Zack felt threatened by Penny and that I wasn’t giving him enough attention. But I quickly abandoned that idea; I deserved to have some fun with Penny after not seeing her since last year.

Later, Rian, Jack and Melanie showed up to the dressing room. They said they had been with Jade all day and immediately jumped in to talking to Penny. Of course, Jack was overjoyed to see Penny so when they saw each other it was a hog pile on the dressing room floor involving Penny, Jack, Alex, Melanie and Rian.

As I watched, I let my mind wander to Jade and I contemplated over the reasons she went to the airport with all of those people. Rian assured us she hadn’t left (after Alex asked if she had flown home, a little too excitedly) but was just on the tour bus doing some things and helping Matt.

Melanie got along perfectly with Penny. They treasured each other’s presence almost too much and became best friends in no time. In fact, by the time it was almost show time, Penny had invited all of the people who didn’t have to work, that being the girls, over to have dinner at her house. Lisa sadly declined, saying she wanted to watch the set which was understandable as she wasn’t staying on tour for very long. But the rest of us were excited to have some girl time and hang out.

I didn’t want to miss sleeping in a nice, roomy bed with a personal bathroom and space to walk around in. So as the boys warmed up for their set, the three of us organized rides and went through plans to make sure we were back in time for bus call. After finalizing our plans I felt impatient. I hadn’t gone out and done something fun like this in a while. Going to a party and to the bar with the guys didn’t really count. This was different and a change of pace, which I needed; I was too stuffed up in my head and needed to get out.

Alex waltzed over to the couch and sat down beside Melanie singing a Foo Fighter’s song for a warm up, changing keys every so often. Jack followed Alex, texting away at his phone and Zack had two fifteen pound weights in his hand. Rian was restlessly loosening up by running his drum sticks over any surface, pounding out a rhythm. The entire time, the four of them were carrying on a full-blown conversation with Danny and Colussy.

Readily, Melanie and Penny stood up and went for the door. Being considerate, I walked over to Zack to tell him my plans as he headed out into the hallway after the two girls.

“What’s up?” Zack asked, seeing me behind him. He continued to pump the weights, showing off his muscles to anyone who walked by.

“I’m going to go have dinner with Penny and her family at her ranch.”

Zack looked at me quizzically, like what I had said was completely unheard of. “You won’t be here for the show…?”

“Well hopefully,” I shrugged, scuffing my white converse on the carpet. “I’ll try and make it back for when you guys go on.” I doubted that would happen.

“But…yeah…” I looked at him for a moment. He was practically glaring back at me. “Have fun.” I knew he wanted me there, especially after the dry comment he had just made, and that caused me to get a little irritated. How could he expect me to be at every show? To become a slave to him? I tried not to let my annoyance show through; I didn’t want him to worry about things before the show. I’d rather him just have fun and enjoy the time.

I started to walk away, probably a little too quickly and a little too adamantly. “Good luck,” I strained a smile.

Zack let me walk a little before he ran a couple steps and stopped me. “You’re upset.”

“No. I’m not. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not fine. You use short sentences when you’re annoyed.” I cursed my little quirks that Zack had figured out after three years. “What’s wrong?”

Massaging my temples, I didn’t really want to deal with the unspoken unease that had filled our presence over the past two weeks. “Let’s just talk about it later, okay?” Whenever that would be, I thought sarcastically.

It bugged me that Zack expected me to stay for every single show. Which, I actually liked doing and would do anyways without him asking. I would even if he expected it. But the fact that he pouted when I would potentially miss one of the four Texas shows bothered me. Zack hadn’t worried about where I had been all day but when it came to this, he expected me to do that for him. He hadn’t done anything all day, all week, to make time for us. It was just irritating.

I knew he couldn’t help. I knew. But it was frustrating nonetheless.

“We’ll be busy later, so let’s just get it over with now.”

‘Get it over with?’ Like I was something he had to squeeze into his schedule? “Look, you clearly don’t have time right now, Zack.”

“I never have time. What’s the difference?” Looking annoyed, he set down the weights at his feet and stood up again, waiting for me to speak.

“Exactly. This is why I just don’t want to talk about it. You clearly don’t have time for it.” An edge was inching its way into my voice.

“Why are you acting so bitchy?” Zack asked exasperated.

“Maybe observe once and a while,” I snapped back, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Just tell me what’s bothering you, Bailey.”

I started to get fidgety. I squirmed in my shoes and adjusted my shirt and then looked around the hallways. I stared at the ugly green walls before closing my eyes, let out a defeated breath and spilled what had been rolling around in my head all week.

“Maybe…maybe I shouldn’t have taken the fall semester off. Maybe it was a bad idea coming on tour with you.”

By the look on Zack’s face I could tell he was definitely not expected me to say that. “Are you saying you regret coming…?”

With each word I whispered, I felt my insides cringe. “I’m just saying that maybe me being preoccupied with school work and college life is better for our relationship.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Come on, Zack. You know what I mean.” I looked at him pointedly before speaking again. “I’m saying you’re just always so busy. You’re running around doing this, signing that, practicing there, partying here. It was easier for us when we were both busy and had to manage the relationship from across the country. Now we will be three feet away from each other and we can’t even hold a conversation without running out of civil things to say to each other.”

“Wow.” Zack stayed quiet for a second, letting each of my bullets pelt him and draw blood before saying something. “When did you become so forward and outspoken,” he bitterly replied.

“Excuse me?”

“Isn’t that Jade’s job?” he continued. “To speak for you?”

I took a step back. “You know, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

“You’ve been pretending a lot lately.”

Ignoring his comment, I defended myself, “You know I’m not as shy anymore, and you know I can speak for myself easily, and you know damn well I can live without my sister standing one step in front of me. I’ve grown up Zack, maybe you should too.”

Zack’s eyes turned from dismayed to angry and his figure became more poised. “I never know what to do! I don’t ever know what you want. I never know what you’re feeling. I can’t figure you out anymore. Sometimes I feel like we’re back in high school. I’m sitting here with you on the side of the road while you’re hyperventilating, trying to catch your breath and I’m just trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to be doing!! You never give me clear cut answers!!”

“You’re trying to figure out what to do?!” I yelled disbelievingly.

“Yes!!” his hands flew to his head and he started pulling at the curly mop on his head. “But I don’t know what!”

“Maybe you would know if you were actually here once in a while!”

“This is my job, Bailey! I though you understood that!”

“I DO understand that, Zack!”

“Then…then what the fuck do you want from me?!?!” he screamed, his body in frenzy and his eyes on fire. I could feel my face had heated up, not because I was sure everyone in a five block radius had heard us and were now eavesdropping, or that we were making a scene and drawing attention to us, but because I was so enraged. With Zack, but also with myself.

“I DON’T KNOW, OKAY?!?!” I glared fixedly at him. I was so wound up and maddened that I couldn’t sort out my thoughts, not like I could have if I had been in a good mood. It was all too confusing, all too much for us to handle. I didn’t know. I didn’t know!

“Well figure it out, Bailey. Because honestly? You’re making this a bigger deal than it is. First you pulled innocent people into you and your sister’s boundaries issues. And now you’re stressing our relationship. So how about you grow up.”

I stared up at him completely flabbergasted. The tone of his mad voice, the way he was looking at me, like I was almost nothing. Nothing but the cause of everything apparently. I couldn’t help it; the way he had just spoken to me, the way he was treating me? I had to slap him. And I did. It was so hard that the sound ricocheted off of the venue’s walls and through every room. I was so angry I could have spit on him.

“Fuck you, Zack. Just fuck you.”