The Other Side of the World

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Liam’s POV
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Silence was even louder throughout the arena. No one wanted to say anything with the fear of saying something wrong.

“Well this is awkward.” Harry said laughing.

“Thanks Capitan obvious.” Kaylin finally spoke up. “Hi, I’m Kaylin by the way.” She said turning to Danielle, letting her hand out.

Danielle politely shook it. “Hi there. I’m Danielle. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m sure you have.” Kaylin said raising one eye brow with an arrogant look on her face. The tone in her voice was nothing less than sarcastic. “So show tonight?” Kaylin turned away to everyone else quickly changing the subject.

She was always good at that, avoiding unwanted confrontation.

My heart was pounding so fast and so loud it was drowning out everything else. I was surprised no one else could hear it. But everyone knew how uncomfortable I was getting.

“Yeah, looks like you’ll be watching.” Harry said to her while grabbing her VIP pass.

She quickly slapped away his hand away playfully. “Yeah I guess so. I gotta call my driver though to let him know what’s up.”

“You have a driver?” Zayn said quickly.

“You guys really think Zach would let me come out here without someone to watch over me? Come on. It’s like you didn’t spend 4 weeks with us.” They all laughed except me. “It’s cool I guess. At least he cares right?”

“Want me to come with you?” Niall asked as she started to walk away.

“Nah. I gotta pee. I’ll find my way around. I’ll meet you guys in a little bit. Don’t worry about me.” She gave all of us a cheeky grin.

She was always good at that, finding diversions to get away from people. She was always good at pushing people away.

“She seems like a cool girl.” Hannah voiced her opinion.

“She’s a handful.” Harry answered while he led us back to the dressing room.

Everyone else was just talking as Danielle and I walked silently next to each other. She tried to hold my hand but I quickly pulled away. “D, don’t. Not right now.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.” She softly said.

I laid out on the couch in our dressing room and stared up at the ceiling. My thoughts drowned out everyone else. The entire last 20 minutes just kept replaying in my head. I was hoping it was all a dream and that I would wake up any minute, but I didn’t.

This is reality, and it’s never hit me any harder than today.

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Harry’s POV
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Kaylin was gone for almost 20 minutes now. Maybe she got lost, I don’t know. But ever since she got here you can just feel the tension and how uncomfortable Liam has been. I just thought it was actually funny.

I’ve always liked Kaylin. She was good for Liam. But more importantly he was good for her. And I think that scared him. I think knowing someone needing him as much as she did scared him. So he ran. It’s not my place to say anything so I never did. But I think all the lads and I knew he was running. And now he really can’t run anymore.

“Hey Nialler. Wanna go play some football outside?”

“Erm. Yeah. How about you boys? Wanna join?”

“Rebecca and I will stay in here. It’s way too hot out.”

“Alright. Suit yourself Zayn. Liam? Wanna give it a go?”

“What?” He wasn’t paying attention.

“Football. Outside. Wanna play?” I asked.

“No. But I’ll come for some fresh air.” He started to walk out and Danielle just followed without saying a word.

“Lou?”

“Yeah Hannah and I will meet up in a second.”

“Alright.” I said as I threw the ball at Niall. “Zayn, if Kaylin happens to come just let her know we’re outside and to tell her to just go out there.”

He nodded in agreement as we left the room.

It was a real hot summer day and all the fans screamed at the top of our lungs as we stepped into the sunlight.

“I will never get used to this.” I turned to Niall as he threw the ball at me.

“Yeah me either. It’s absolutely mental.”

Niall and I spent not even 10 minutes kicking the ball back and forth to each other and I was already dying of heat.

I kicked the ball back to him, “Hold on its hot.” I started to take off my shirt and the crowd of girls started to scream a loud roar. When I finally got my shirt over my head I quickly ducked seeing that Niall always hit me in the head with the ball.

“Aw come on man. I said hold on.”

“Yeah while you were taking off your shirt.”

“Shit, it’s hot out here okay?”

“Yeah yeah, you just wanted to hear those girls scream for you.”

“Hey, it doesn’t hurt.” I said laughing and sticking my tongue out at him. “Now where did that bloody ball go?”

“Behind the buses.” He pointed behind me. “Go get it.”

“Ugh,” I grunted as I threw my shirt around my neck and ran to go find it.

It was hot and I was not feeling the game of hide and seek right now. “Where is it?” I yelled back at Niall.

“Looking for this?” I turned the corner to find Kaylin holding the ball.

“Yes, thank you.” I grabbed it out of her hand before she can pull it away from me. “And what’s that?”

“What?” She looked at me knowing I saw her hiding something.

“This.” I grabbed her hand to show her the cigarette she was hiding. “This cancer on a stick of yours.”

“It’s nothing.” She put it in her mouth, lit it, and inhaled as deep as she could then slowly exhaled the smoke.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Harry, don’t tell them I’m back here.”

“I won’t. Just let me give Niall the ball back okay?”

I ran back to find Niall sitting on the floor waiting for me. “Took you long enough.”

I swiftly handed him the ball. “Hey I found Kaylin. I’ll be right back.”

“Is she okay?” He looked worried.

“Yeah she’s fine. I’m just going to talk to her. Don’t tell Liam yeah?”

“Wait, why not?”

“She said not to tell anyone, okay? I’ll be right back. Probably with her. I’m just going to talk to her. Give me like 10 minutes.”

“What do you want me to tell the boys if they ask about you?”

“I don’t know Niall just make it up. I’ll be back.”

I ran back behind the buses to find Kaylin drinking a Pepsi and still smoking her cigarette. “Hi.” She simply said to me.

“So,” I stood up against the bus in front of her. “When did you start smoking?”

“Uhm… When I was 15?”

“15?! Zach let you do that?”

She laughed, “No. Are you joking? Zach won’t let me walk outside to get the mail by myself you actually think he’d like me smoke.” She joked. “But no. I’ve been hiding it since I was 15.”

“And Liam didn’t know?”

“I wasn’t smoking then. I stopped when I started dating Cameron.”

“And you started up again… when?”

“The day you guys left.” She took the last puff out of her cigarette. I put my head down knowing how screwed up that day made her.

“Kaylin!” I looked up to find her burning out the cigarette on her skin. I quickly ran to her panicking. “What are you doing?!” I yelled at her. I tried to take it from her, but by the time I did, it was too late. Her skin was bubbling and all disgusting. “Kaylin…” I sighed in frustration as I saw even more scars to add to that.

She didn’t say one word. I watched as she grabbed a piece of ice from her cup and put it on the burn. I kept watching how routine it was. She didn’t flinch, she didn’t even react. There was no emotion what so ever. She took a cloth out of her purse and wiped her wrist. Still calm as ever, she grabbed a band aid out and covered it. It was just that simple for her.

“Did you know this VIP pass lets me do anything? They gave me this free drink.” She just kept talking as I stood there still in shock. “I really like free stuff. Jeeze I can get used to this shit.”

“Kaylin…” I interrupted her.

“What?” I stared at her in confusion. “Oh it’s nothing. I do it every once in a while. It just keeps my mind off things.”

Then I realized why she does what she does. It’s to keep her feeling alive. I realized it’s not what she does, it’s the feeling she gets from it. The pain reminds her that she’s still alive. The ongoing pain helps her see that she’s still feeling things.

“Don’t worry about me, Harry.”

“What are you talking about Kaylin? I just witnessed you physically hurt yourself. I just witnessed you burn your arm on purpose! How am I not supposed to fucking worry?”

“Harry, it’s not your job to worry.”

“Caring about someone… Caring about you… is not a job Kaylin! It’s a fucking choice.” I got up to her face and grabbed her wrist. “Why do you fucking do it? Why? Please help me understand.”

“Stop.” She jerked her hand away from me.

“No. Kaylin, why?” She was crying at this point, and so was I.

“Pain is the only thing I’ve ever felt my entire life. I don’t know what it’s like to be happy, Harry. If the pain is gone, it’s like I have nothing left.”

“Kaylin…” I pulled her in. “Please just stop.” I could feel hear tears on my bare shoulder.

She pushed me off as hard as she could. “You don’t get it Harry. No one gets it. That’s why I don’t like when people start to care about me. They always fucking leave. They always let me down. I always get hurt. And there’s the pain again. I figured if I make the pain myself, it won’t hurt has much, because its only physical pain, not emotional.”

She could hardly breathe. She was taking the time to talk and try to catch her breath at the same time.

“After this trip I’m gone for good. I promise. I won’t be here to bother you, the rest of the guys, or Liam anymore. You won’t hear from me. Harry please, just promise me… just promise me one thing.”

I was trying so hard to not cry anymore. “What is it Kaylin?”

“Don’t say anything. Please?”

“Kaylin, I don’t know if I could do that.”

“Well you need to do it okay Harry? Just do it.” She wiped her tears and inhaled deep. “This is my life. This is how it’s always been for me. Don’t change it.”

“But Kaylin…”

“No Harry. That’s enough. We’re done talking about it.” She walked back into the sun as fast as she could. I saw her turn the corner heading towards Niall and everyone else.

I was so frustrated. I didn’t know what to do. She needed help. She needed someone to help her. I couldn’t just sit back and let her do that. But I promised. I didn’t know what to do.

I turned to the bus and punch it as hard as I could. “Fuck!” I held my right hand knowing I have had to bruise something.

“Fuck!” I didn’t need this right now. We all didn’t need this right now. I’m lost in my frustration. I don’t know what to do.

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Kaylin’s POV
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“Hey Nialler, Lou, Hannah.” I took a seat on the ground next to them. Spotting Liam and Danielle in the shade not too far away.

“Harry?! What happened?!” I look back up to see Hannah and Louis running towards him as he held up his right hand.

“Erm. Ow. Erm.” I watched as he struggled to find a lie to say. “I was getting some stuff off the bus and I guess I wasn’t paying attention and the door closed and my hand got caught in it.”

“Oh man. Okay, Let’s go get it check out.” Louis said worried. “Liam, go get Zayn and Rebecca and meet us in the first aid office.” The rest of us followed Louis and Harry as they headed inside. I ran to catch up to them.

“So what really happened?” I whispered to Harry.

“Punched the bus.”

“What would possess you to do that?” I said to him like he was crazy.

“What possesses you to do what you do?” He simply asked me.

Offended, I said, “That’s not fair.”

“You know what’s not fair, you telling me to keep everything you just did a secret.”

“Harry….” I stopped.

“I can’t Kaylin, I just can’t.” He just kept walking with everyone as I stayed back. I watched the look in his eyes as he told me that he couldn’t do it.

I took a deep breath trying to hold back my tears. “Kaylin, what’s going on?”

I turned to find Liam and Danielle with Rebecca and Zayn. “Uhm. Harry, he hurt his hand.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Rebecca asked.

“Yeah I think so. I don’t really know.”

“We should go check on him.” Zayn quickly grabbed Rebecca’s hand and headed down the hallway.

“We should probably go too Liam.” Danielle grabbed his wrist gesturing to follow everyone.

Resisting her pull he said, “Kaylin, are you okay?”

I looked up at him and wiped the tear from my cheek. “Yeah I’ll be okay. Go. I’ll be there in a sec.”

I watched as Danielle held his hand rushing toward the first aid room. I watched the walk as fast as they could until they turned the corner.

I stood up against a wall looking up at the ceiling trying to catch my breath. I haven’t even been in London for 4 hours and everything has happened so fast.

“Kaylin!” I looked ahead to find Liam running back towards me. “Harry told me to give this to you.” It was medical wrap. I’m guessing for wrist.

“Thank you.” I took it from his hand. As I did, my hand touched his and chills ran throughout my body.

“You look exhausted.” He said looking straight into my eyes. “Go back to your hotel and come back at 7. We want you to see our last show. Please?”

“Okay. I’ll be here.” I started to turn away and slowly walked towards the exit.

“Don’t do anything stupid Kaylin, please?” I turned back to see Liam’s face in sorrow.

I nodded to him and walked out the doors.