The Other Side of the World

The sun had gone down and everything was lit up by the Christmas lights. I watched Zach frantically get his things together as he pulled a blind fold out of his coat pocket.

“What’s that?” I pointed at it.

“Come here.” He turned me around as he put the blind fold over my eyes.

“Z, I hate surprises, you know that.” I said as he tied it so I couldn’t see.

“Can you see anything?”

“No Zach, I can’t.”

“You swear?”

“On the Bible,” I heard him get out of the car. “Zach! Please tell me what’s going on.” I heard him open my door and he grabbed my hand.

“Come on, this is a surprise you’ll love. I promise you.”

“I can’t see anything Z.”

“That’s why I’m helping you Bug. Stop resisting and just come with me. When was there ever a time you hated my surprises?” He squeezed my hand.

“Never.” I smiled at myself.

“I see that smile. So come on, trust me. I promise you’ll love it.”

“Do I look good at least?” I stopped before he took me into the house.

“Stunning. Now let’s go.” He led me into the house and held my hand all the way through. “We’re gonna go into the backyard okay? We’re almost there.”

He led me out and I felt the California winter breeze. I could hear light whispers from a distance. “Zachary, please can you take this blind fold off me now?”

“Yeah.” He slowly untied it as it fell off revealing the backyard. It was filled with people. But the most important thing was the scenery.

“Zach, what is this?”

He smiled at me and took my hand. “It’s your backyard.”

“It’s exactly like my backyard.” I said slightly breathless.

“Yeah. Remember when you moved in with us. You used to sit right under that tree. And you used to tell me how it was just like your backyard minus all the stuff your dad did to it. I remember too you know, the pond he built, the water fountain, the tire swing, I remember all of it. We spent a lot of days and nights in the backyard, and it was my favorite place too.”

“When did you do all of this?” Everyone was still staring at us as Zach continued to explain.

“Since we didn’t go on tour I talked to my parents and they thought it would be perfect. So the guys and I got together and built this while you were gone. Do you like it?”

“Like it? Z, I love it.” I gave him the biggest hug I could have ever given him. My eyes were filled with tears of joy.

“Go on, say hi to everyone. They couldn’t wait to see you.” He kissed my forehead before letting me go. I walked down the porch on to the stepping stones. Everything was exactly how my built our backyard. It was all so perfect. I couldn’t stop smiling.

I made my rounds to everyone. They all greeted me a happy birthday and of course asked me how I was doing. I wasn’t so bothered by it, because I was just so happy with everything.

“Hey.” I said walking up to Cameron, Nathan, and Michael giving them all a kiss on the cheek.

“Haven’t seen that smile in a while,” Cameron said smiling and biting his lip. “So, what do you think?”

Zach came up from behind me, putting his arm around my waist as I laid my head upon his shoulder. “Its perfect guys. All of it. It’s just all so perfect. Thank you. You will never know how much this all means to me, especially now.” They all gave me smiles knowing fully well how much they made me happy.

“Hey Bug, wanna go on the tire swing?”

“Uhm yeah! Did you really have to ask?” I ran towards it leaving them behind. “Me first k?”

They all followed as Zach came up behind me and started to push the tire swing as hard as he could. “This was so much easier when we were 10.”

“Are you calling me fat?” I laughed as he tried to push me harder.

“A little.” He grunted struggling to push me anymore.

“You suck you know that.” The rest of the guys laughed.

“I’m only kidding.”

“Hey Kaylin?”

“What Cam?” I said trying to stop the tire swing from swinging myself.

“Look.” Cameron pointed to the back door and I looked straight to it, finding five boys dressed to perfection.

I was silent for a little as I stared at them looking around.

“We had a little help with the finishing touches,” Zach said stopping the swing to a complete stop. My heart was beating faster than ever and I was left breathless at the sight of them, especially Liam.

I waited and stared as Liam caught my eye. He gestured to the other boys that he had spotted me and they made their way over to me.

“You can’t leave me.” I grabbed Cameron’s arm as they started to walk away. “I haven’t spoken to any of them since the day I left.”

“You’re going to be okay, Kaylin.” He helped me out of the tire swing while holding on to my waist as I struggled to find my balance.

“Cameron please? Don’t leave me.” I held onto his hand for dear life.

“Look Kaylin, you’re going to be fine. Nothing has changed okay? I promise you that. You’re going to be okay.” He kissed my forehead before letting go. I watched as he walked away greeting all the guys. He turned back around mouthing, “Go, you can do it.” And he walked into the sea of people at the party.

Liam, Harry, Zayn, Niall, and Louis were standing before me, but we all were hesitant to say anything first. I awkwardly stood up against the tree, trying to figure out what to say.

“Thanks for helping with all of this. It really means a lot.” I finally spoke up.

“Oh yeah, no problem.” Louis answered.

“This is all so amazing. Zach and the guys did a really good job.” Niall pointed out.

“It’s exactly like my backyard in the house I grew up in. Zach and I used to play there all the time after school when we were younger.” They all smiled at the sweet memory. “When did you guys get in?”

Zayn spoke up and said, “We’ve been here for about two weeks now. Doing some promotion. We met up with Zach and he told us what he was up to, so we offered to help out.”

“We missed you by the way,” Harry cut in. “A lot.”

“I missed you guys too. I missed everyone really. It was hard. But I’m glad to be back.” Liam was still remaining silent. “But really though. Thanks for being here. It honestly means so much to me. I just, I don’t know, this is all just so much to take in.”

Liam couldn’t make eye contact with me. All he could do was look at the ground.

“Hey boys, let’s go find Zach and see if he needs any help with anything.” Harry suggested. “Liam.”

He looked up at Harry with an unexplainable expression. They both just gave each other looks that I couldn’t read. The rest of the boys left as Liam stayed with me.

I laughed to myself, “he would.” Still no answer from Liam.

I watched as he walked over to the tire swing. He didn’t sit in it; he just lightly touched the rope with his fingertips. “How are you Kaylin? Are you doing good?”

Hearing his voice after all these months, I don’t know, it was a sigh of relief kind of. Yet, it was overwhelming at the same time. To be honest, I thought I had forgotten what he sounded like. But nothing changed about him. His shy mannerisms, the little smirk he does when he thinks no one is watching him, the way he’s always touching his hair, and the softness of his low voice. It was all still the same.

“After all this time Liam, that’s all you have to say to me?” I said curiously.

I watched as he chuckled to himself while biting his lip. I waited for him to answer in anticipation. “I have no idea what to say to you Kaylin.” He said honestly.

“I guess that makes the two of us.” It got quiet quickly. All you could hear were the guest at the party having the time of their lives, the wind lightly blowing and the water fountain.

“How are you? Really though, are you doing okay?”

“Come with me.” I said grabbing his hand before answering his question. I led him to the other side of the tree away from everyone, where it could just be me and him. I took a seat against it and looked up at the stars. He just looked at me strangely without saying a word. I gestured for him to take a seat next to me. And of course, he did. “I used to sit here every night looking up at the stars after my parents died. Zach would find me back here all the time. We wouldn’t talk, we wouldn’t do anything, he would just sit next to me and everything seemed okay again.”

I started to take off my bracelets revealing all my scars. I looked up at Liam as he stared at them cringing at the sight. Like the memories of that night came rushing back to him. “Do you remember the night I told you about this?” I pointed at my wrist.

“Yeah, of course. I can’t really forget it.”

“These scars, they’re my life. They’re my past, present, and future. But I’m going to answer your question with a question, what is “okay” anyway? Is it happiness? Is it contentment? Is it life? I don’t know. Every time someone has asked me if I was okay, I would always just say yes, because that’s what people wanted to hear, even if it wasn’t the truth.” I paused trying to collect my thoughts. “I spent my whole life trying to figure out what “okay” was. I tried to find it in things, in people, but I just didn’t know what it was. I learned a lot these past couple months. A lot about myself, a lot about the world, I grew up and I found myself.”

Liam said nothing. He just looked at me with his soft brown eyes and waited for me to keep going.

“I missed you, a lot. To be honest with you, I thought I would never speak to you again. So it made things easier. But then again, I thought about you every day. So maybe it wasn’t that easy. I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel right now.” I looked up at him. “What are you feeling?”

“Kaylin, I’m glad you’re better now. I’m glad you found yourself. And that you’re happy…”

“But…” I cut him off.

“I… I… I don’t know what to feel right now either. Just everything that has happened; all this time that has passed. I didn’t know if I was going to see you either. And here I am. Sitting next to you, looking at how beautiful and how happy you are. I haven’t seen you smile like that since…” He paused and looked away. “Since the first day we met.”

“You couldn’t wait for me, could you?” I said softly.

“I’m sorry Kaylin. I’m so sorry.” I started to laugh to myself. “This isn’t funny Kaylin, why are you laughing?” He looked at me confused.

I looked up at him knowing it was over between us. “I knew you couldn’t wait for me. I never really expected you to. With everything that has happened, how could you?”

“Kaylin it’s not that, it’s just… I guess we both grew up these past couple months.”

“How is Danielle anyway? She good?” I said trying not to be so sarcastic.

“Yeah, she’s good. We’re good.” As he said those words, my heart broke a little more than it already was. “Please Kaylin.”

I grabbed his face and kissed him slowly. It was a long time once again since I’ve felt his soft lips against mine. He didn’t pull away; he just took it in as I did. After what felt like forever, we pulled away with our foreheads still touching. We stared into each other’s eyes knowing that moment was ours and no one else will know.

I finally pulled away wiping my lip gloss off his bottom lip. “I’ll always love you Liam, always. No matter how far you are, no matter whom you or I am with, I will always love you. Nothing and no one will ever change that.”

“I still believe we should be together.” He said quietly not looking up at me.

“Hey,” I crouched down in front of him lifting his face to look at me. “So do I, but you’re right we both grew up and a lot has changed since I left. And you know what, maybe someday we will be together. But we both know right now isn’t our time, and I’m okay with that. One day we’ll cross paths again and maybe we’ll fall in love and everything will work out, or maybe we’ll just stay friends. But for now, you don’t have to worry about me anymore Liam.” I got up ready to walk away from him as he still say in the grass up against the tree, but I turned around one last time, “We’ll find each other someday, I promise you that.”

A tear rolled down my face as I slowly walked away from him, hoping he’d stop me from going. But he didn’t. Something inside of me told me it was over for good. “Someday,” I said to myself.

“Hey Kaylin!” I wiped my cheeks dry and turned around to find him holding the same yellow ribbon he gave me when he left. “I’ll love you until the sun stops shining. Someday I’ll be able to show you that.” He tied it on my wrist then lightly traced my scars with his fingertips. He looked up and smiled at me and I returned a sweet smile. We walked side by side joining everyone back at the party.

Happy with life, I accepted how things went that night. This past year was everything I wanted and didn’t want, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I met people who gave me memories for a lifetime, I faced my fears and problems I’ve been too scared to deal with, and I fell in love with a guy who I knew changed my life for the better. Every day, I’m going to look back at these scars and remember this summer with no regrets. It was the summer that changed my life.