The Other Side of the World

I walked into my hotel room to find Zach asleep on his bed. “Z,” I shook him lightly, “Wake up.”

He rolled over and grunted, “Go away.”

“Keep sleeping. I’ll just shower. But you’re after me. Fancy or no fancy tonight?”

“Whatever you want.” He grunted again.

--

I walked out of the shower with the steam flowing around me. I wiped down the fogged up mirror and found my eyes puffy and red again.

“Damn it Kaylin, pull yourself together.” I said to myself. I cried so hard in the shower, I didn’t think I would make it out.

I put my dress on and made sure my bracelets were in the right place. I didn’t need another rerun of last night. Though, I knew it would be a lot worse than what I experienced last night.

I was contemplating if I should tell Zach everything tonight. But I realized it was all bad timing. It’s always bad timing. I was going to do it after tour but then I realized we’re heading overseas, so that won’t work either.

I’ve kept it from him for this long; I don’t think waiting a couple more months will hurt.

“I see you went with fancy.” Zach said as I walked out of the bathroom drying my hair in the towel.

“I see you have your fancy pants out. How did you know Zach Porter?”

“I know you too well.” He messed with my hair as he passed me to head into the bathroom.

As Zach took his shower I sat in front of the mirror trying not to think about how things will go tonight. I was still debating if there really was ever a good time to him. I put on my makeup and the finishing touches on my hair.

*knock, knock*

“I’ll be right there.” I struggled to put my heels on while running to get the door. I opened it to find Cameron patiently waiting there. “Hi.” My heart dropped down into my stomach.

“Hi.” He said nervously. It got really awkward. “Uhm is Zach here?”

“Yeah want to come in? I’m just getting ready for dinner.” I walked towards the mirror and Cameron followed me into the room.

“Uhm wow. Well you look really amazing.” He said trying to not make eye contact.

I watched in the mirror acting as if I was still trying to get ready, but by his body language. I knew he was uncomfortable. “Did you want to talk to Zach?”

“Well it looks like you guys are gonna go out to dinner. We weren’t sure if you were back so we were just going to see if Zach wanted to come out with us for the night.”

“A night in Vegas, huh? That isn’t a good idea.” I winked at him. I tried to ease the tension a little. I know things are weird right now, but like I said if we both just tried to make the effort of moving forward, it will be okay. But I guess it didn’t really help.

“I should probably go then.” As we walked away I grabbed his arm.

“Cameron,” He turned to me. “Look I know this is hard. It’s hard for me too. But I’m trying here okay. Can you just… Can you just help me out?” I looked at him waiting for him to answer.

“You have a good dinner okay?” He took his arm back from me. “Tell Zach I stopped by.” And he walked out with nothing else to say.

I sighed in frustration. I knew I would never be able to escape this. “Zach! Are you almost ready?” I yelled to him.

He opened the door, “Just about. Who was that?” He said while rolling up his sleeves.

“Cameron.”

“Oh. What did he want?”

“Wanted to see if you wanted to go out with him and the guys. I reckon he’s going to ask One Direction to go along with them.”

“I reckon…” He raised his eyebrow at me. “You have been spending too much time with those guys.”

“Not even. Let’s go okay? I’m starving.” Zach put his arm around me and we headed out.

--

We got back to our hotel room tired and stuffed. I ended up not telling Zach what happened. I was too afraid to. We were having such a good time just the two of us; I didn’t want to ruin anything. For the first time in what felt like forever, we did not mention one time during those couple of hours, Cameron, work, school, or even Liam. It was a relief.

“What time is it?” I said as I took my shoes off at the foot of the bed.

“11pm.”

“You tired?”

“Uh yeah. Why you aren’t?”

“Not really. How are you tired? You took a nap today.”

“I’m busy, okay? I get tired easily.”

“Yeah okay, my ass. Well if you’re gonna go to bed, then I’ll go to bed to. There’s no use in trying to find someone to hang out with now.”

We got ready for bed knowing we had another show to do tomorrow.

I got into bed all ready to go and pulled the covers over me. “But thank you for tonight, I really needed it.”

“Of course, I needed it too. You were right; it was a lot easier before any of this. I love having you around Kaylin; it reminds me that this can’t all go to my head. You remind all of us of home. And we love you for that.” Zach switched off the light and I stared into the dark ceiling.

I realized my life wouldn’t be the same if I moved out to Chicago with my grandparents. If my parents hadn’t have died. Zach and I wouldn’t be as close as we were. I wouldn’t be able to travel the country like I’m doing. Though the sad story of my past is still there, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

My eyes started to get heavy and I slowly dosed off into a deep sleep.

--

“Oh my gosh!” I got up dripping in sweat and panting. I looked over to my left and found Zach still fast asleep. I laid back down trying to figure out what just happened. “Oh man, it was just a dream. Good.” I started saying to myself.

I grabbed my phone to send out a tweet, “Nightmares suck. Don’t think I can fall back asleep and it’s almost 4am.”

I lay in bed trying to wrap my head around my dream. So many thoughts were running though my mind. Still panting, I had no idea what I was doing. I was kind of hoping Zach would wake up so I could talk to him about what happened, but I realized what my nightmare was about.

I tweeted once more, “I just want to sleep. Ugh.”

I tossed and turned for a good half hour trying to fall back asleep, but it just wasn’t working for me. Then I heard a light knock on the door. It startled me a little, so I didn’t get up. Then I heard it again. So I slowly got up trying not to make too much noise.

I looked through the peep hole to see who it was. It was Liam, holding two cups. “What are you doing here?” I whispered as I answered the door.

“I saw your tweet. I woke up earlier and couldn’t fall back asleep. Thought I would keep you company.” He smiled holding up two hot chocolates.

“Hold on, let me grab my hoodie and shoes.” I walked back into the room grabbing what I needed and hoped while I was gone Zach wouldn’t wake up. “Okay, now what?” I said as I took the cup from him.

“Let’s go for a walk?” And so we did. We walked all around the hotel talking and just goofing around. I wasn’t one bit tired.

--

“What time is it anyway?” Liam asked.

“Uhm. Almost 5:30am.” I did a double take on my phone. “What? Almost 5:30am. We have to get up in 4 hours. And we’ve barely gotten any sleep. We should start heading back.”

And as we did, I was waiting for this question to come up. “So that nightmare of yours…. Care to share?”

“Can I not relive it?”

“Hey, I’m here to listen remember.”

“Fine. It’s nothing really. I mean I guess I was bound to have it. It was just scary. Everyone was there. It’s a little bit fizzy, I don’t remember much. But I do remember why I woke up. We were all in a room; you and the guys were there. Zach and the rest of the band too, I remember Zach completely yelling at Cameron. I think it’s because he found out what had happened. I was crying, I remember that. I was crying really hard.” We kept walking towards my room and Liam listened, “I remember Zach lifting up his arm with his and shaped into a fist and bam, he hit Cameron. Then I woke up. That’s all I could remember.”

“Some nightmare.” Liam said sarcastically.

“I don’t need your smart ass remarks okay? It was scary.” We finally arrived back to my room.

“Sure it sounds scary, but I doubt that would ever happen.”

“Liam you just never know.” I paused. “Well we’re here.”

“We should probably get some rest.” Liam turned to walk away.

“Liam, you want to watch the sun rise with me? I mean a little bit longer won’t hurt will it?” I bit my lip waiting for his answer.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” He followed me into the room and we quietly walked passed Zach. He was still fast asleep.

I opened the back door to a light summer morning breeze. We pushed the chairs close together and took our seats.

“I have another question for you Kaylin, if you don’t mind…” Liam said hesitating.

“Shoot.” I said curled up in a ball on the chair.

“Besides this Cameron thing, what’s your biggest secret? “ He paused. “I mean one that only Zach really knows. Or at least the guys.”

I was a little shocked by his answer, and I didn’t really know how to answer it. “Uhm that’s a good question. I don’t know really.”

“Oh come on, there has to be one thing.” He turned to me.

I looked down at my hands. “Uh, hm… I guess that when I’m alone I break down.”

“How do you mean?”

“That’s why Zach doesn’t leave me alone. He’s scared. He’s scared that one day I’ll just, I don’t know, snap I guess.” I paused and looked at him. “Ever since my parents died, it’s been so easy for me to break. I’ve been so vulnerable, and Zach knows that. He’s caught me crying by myself all the time He doesn’t like me spending too much time alone with myself, because he knows I’m hurting. It’s funny because he thinks it’s still about my parents, but really… it’s about Cameron.”

“Do you think he knows? I mean he knows you so well, he would at least know… right?”

“I think he does. But he doesn’t want to say anything. He’s always wanted me to speak up. He won’t force things out of me; he’ll wait until I’m ready.”

“Will you ever be ready?”

“Honestly, I don’t think so.” I looked out into the horizon. “At least not anytime soon.” The wind blew and the sun was slowly creeping up.

“Are you scared? Like of the future and stuff?”

“I’m scared of everything.” I turned to him and saw him staring at me. We locked eyes and nothing else was said. The bright orange sun started to creep even higher.

Liam looked straight into my eyes as I did to him. He leaned in slowly, and I followed his lead. The timing seems s coincidental; as my lips touched his, the sun was fully over the horizon. It was quick, but it was beautiful.

We both slowly pulled away, but we sat there with our foreheads against each other.

I finally spoke up, still with our foreheads touching, “This is a bad idea.” I bit my lip.

“Do you regret it?” I watched his lips as he said it.

I pulled away, look at the horizon. “Well no.” He sighed. “You should go.” I looked at my phone. “It’s almost 6:30. We should get some sleep.” I got up and headed for the door with this sick feeling in my stomach.

Liam grabbed my arm and slowly turned me around and pushed me up against the glass door. He kissed me again. With his one hand on my hip and his other hand up against the door, he pulled away look straight into my eyes. “We can’t deny this.”

I began to realize that the feeling wasn’t a sick one, but it was butterflies. It’s been awhile since someone has ever made me feel that way.

I sighed and bit my lip, “I know.” I put my head on his shoulder and ran his hand through my hair. He held me there for what felt like the longest time.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt that safe in someone’s arms.

We both slowly let go and he grabbed my hand. He interlocked it with his. I led him inside and to the door. He kissed my cheek and headed back to his room.

I closed the door and stood up against it and sighed. With the biggest smile on my face, I walked back to my bed. I got under the covers trying not to make any noise.

“It’s a bad idea Bug.” Zach turned to me from his bed with one eye open. I looked over at him. “Just be careful.” He turned back around and went back asleep.

I smiled biting my lip. I knew this was bad. I knew what I was getting myself into, and for once, I wasn’t afraid.