Nobody's Listening

T W E N T Y - S E V E N

My mouth gaping, I stared at her. "How… how can you… possibly… absolutely not!" I cried, my heart fluttering like a bird in a trapped cage. "Cyd… how… how could you think that?"

"Hey, don't take this out on me," Cyd snapped. "It's just… I saw the way you looked at him when you were dancing together, okay? And I know you. Or at least, I like to think I do." She wrapped her arm around me. "C'mon, Dez, you can talk to me."

"I don't love James," I said harshly, shaking her off but not moving from my seat. "I never loved James, okay? It was just some silly, schoolgirl crush, and I got over it, okay?"

Cyd gave me a long look and then shrugged. "Okay, fine, fine." She stood up and stretched. "You know, you look half dead."

I nodded. "Yep, I feel half dead. How'd the rest of the Bends' show go?"

She shrugged again. "Wren broke a pedal again, and Dylan broke a string. Felix got his ass grabbed by some drunk guys. Nancy drove the crowd into a frenzy just by holding up her middle finger. You know, the usual." She giggled and settled down next to me under the covers. "When Wren got off the stage, she and James talked for a bit. He's gotten really confident," she pointed out.

I got under the covers and turned my lamp off. "Yeah, I've noticed. You would not believe what he did to me before you guys got here." I launched into the story of how James had cornered me and she snorted.

"Well, cockier than anything, then. Did you like it when he was that close to you?"

I gave Cyd a small push and she scrabbled with the sheets to keep from toppling out of the bed. "Actually, no, I didn't, it scared the shit outta me. You know how I don't like being cornered like that."

"Mhmm. Well, I'm sure things will be fine between you two soon enough. Who knows, maybe he'll get with Wren and leave you alone."

I made a face in the dark, disgust and worry trickling through my veins, souring my mouth. "Yeah, maybe," I replied, forcing a chuckle.

We continued to talk about James and Luke, and more mundane things like school. Finally, around one in the morning, I gave up trying to keep my eyes open and let myself drift off to sleep.

The next morning when I woke up, it was bright in my room. I glanced at my clock to see that it was only eleven in the morning. I wondered what had woken me. I groaned as I heaved myself into a sitting position and put my feet on the cold wood floor. Stretching and yawning, I stood up. I could hear loud voices issuing from downstairs, finding the source of why I had been awakened.

I looked in my mirror quickly. My hair was rumpled and greasy looking, and my skin had a sweaty sheen on it. I sighed and let it go; there was no point in trying to fix it, it was probably just Mom and a friend of hers. I put my glasses on and hurried down the stairs to see who was there.

I walked into the kitchen, still yawning, to find my mom and James sitting at the counter island in deep conversation, James with a half-eaten waffle in front of him and wearing the same black jeans and blue shirt from last night. I had the intense urge to run back up to my room and clean up myself a bit, but they saw me. "James, what are you doing here?" I spluttered.

He gave me a tired smile. "Well, seeing as I don't have a home anymore, I thought I would come here for a little breakfast before searching for a new house."

"What?" I whispered, taking a seat next to my mom. I looked back and forth between the two, confused.

"My house has been burned to the ground," James said wearily. "After Cyd and Mesh left, I hung back with Wren and her band mates. I got home around ten or so, and half of my house was already on fire." He ran a hand over his face and let out a shaky sigh. "The firefighters got there a little bit later, but it was too late. What's still barely standing is ruined by water and smoke, and the only thing that survived is this." He took a gold pocket watch out of his pocket and handed it to me. A sun was carved on the cover, and the face of the clock was still in impeccable shape, though the watch must have been at least a hundred years old based on the small '1895' on the side. I gave it back to James and he placed it back in his pocket.

"So now," he continued, "the police are investigating, and I am temporarily homeless with no possessions or money of my own." He shoved the last bit of waffle in his mouth and swallowed roughly. "Well, I've over-stayed my welcome, Mrs. Plunkett, and I've greatly enjoyed the warm breakfast. I must be going, though."

"Oh James, won't you stay for lunch?" my mom asked fretfully, standing up with James. "I mean, I just can't see how you would have luck finding a home this quickly, so why not put it off?"

James chuckled before slipping on his coat. "No, Mrs. Plunkett, I really must be going, I might as well start searching now. But if you don't mind, I'd love to have dinner here if I have no luck with looking."

Mom beamed and gave him a short hug. "Of course, honey, come whenever." She turned to me. "Desirae, please show James out?"

I nodded and followed James to the front door. In the kitchen, I could hear my mom making a big, noisy production of starting the dishwasher and clanging pots and pans.

We stopped and stared at each other, my sluggish heart slowly speeding up as James looked down at me with increasing interest. His lips were plump and red from the sticky sweetness of the syrup that was on his waffles. His gray eyes were dull from a sleepless night, and his hair was rumpled and flat.

Suddenly, a smile flitted across his face, the area around his eyes crinkling irresistibly. "You’ve got a little…." He trailed off, shook his head, and licked his thumb. Before I realized what he was doing, he dragged it down the corner of my lips. "Drool," he said cheerfully, wiping his thumb over his pants.

I ran my knuckles over my mouth, slightly disgusted with him and myself. "I'm sorry about your house," I whispered, looking back to his eyes.

He shrugged. "It'll be okay, I'm sure I'll find a new one soon enough. You know, without all the terrible memories and such." Tears filled the corners of his eyes and he brushed them away impatiently.

"Oh honey," I sighed, gathering him in my arms. I pressed my cheek into his collarbone, really noticing how much shorter he was compared to Luke's towering height. Surprisingly, I liked the difference. I pulled away suddenly, shaking myself out of my reverie. I did not like anything that set James differently from Luke. I could not give Cyd the satisfaction of what she said the night before had the smallest hint of the truth.

James stared at me for a bit more then blessed me with a small smile. "I really do have to go, though. I'll see you for dinner, more than likely." He gave me a little wave and hurried out the door, walking out to a small black Impala that I hadn’t noticed before.

"So?" my mom asked from behind me. I turned slowly to look at her. "Is everything better between you two now?"

I looked back out the window next to the door and watched James race out of the driveway and onto the street. "Yeah," I said begrudgingly. "Everything's better," I echoed, wishing that for once I was telling the truth.