Don't Go

Two Years Later

“Oli,” Mason gasped, her hand flying to her stomach. She was sitting next to me on the couch as we watched a movie and ate some popcorn.

She was due to have our baby any day now. Her due date was three days ago and the doctor said that if the baby didn’t come within the week that he would induce her.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up and placing one hand on her stomach and grabbing her arm with the other. “Is the baby coming?”

She nodded, “I think so. Yeh go get the bag from the nursery. I’ll get the keys and yeh wallet from the kitchen. Then we’ll go. I can’t believe that she is finally coming.”

I didn’t respond to her, I just helped her get up and ran out of the room and down the hallway. I climbed the stairs taking two of them at once, almost tripping a few times. The baby’s room was at the end of the hallway.

Mason insisted that we paint it pink. But me, being the guy that I am, told her that we should do it in purple. Each of us agreed to the compromise, pink around the bottom half of the room, then a wallpaper border, and the top have was purple. All of the furniture in the room, the crib, dressing table, dresser, and toy box, was white. Everything else was pastel colors, the bedspread and the wall décor.

She had told me the other day where the bag was, so I would know when this moment came. But as soon as she mentioned something about the baby I started thinking about how different our lives would be after she came.

That’s why I was looking everywhere that it could possibly be. The cabinet on the side of the dressing table, the dresser drawers, and finally the toy box. It wasn’t in any of those places. I was about to go ask Mason where it was, then I spotted the closet door, which had flower stickers on it, and realized that it was probably in there.

I pulled the door open and grabbed the black and pink diaper bag that had everything we would need for the stay at the hospital. Mason was just getting to the door when I made it back downstairs. I opened the door for her and ran out to put the bag in the car before coming back and locking the door, then helping her the rest of the way to the car.

“Oli, love, slow down. There is no reason to rush; my contractions are still far enough apart so that I won’t be having this baby in the car. Relax, I’m the one having the baby,” she laughed. She was completely calm about all of this, and here I was freaking out. Shouldn’t she be the one practically having a panic attack?

I took a deep breath and leaned my head back against the head rest as we pulled up to the stop sign at the end of our street. After making sure no cars were coming, I pulled out on the road and started the drive to the hospital.

When we picked this hospital to have the baby at, we choose it because it was only a five minute drive from the house and because it had one of the nicest maternity wards in the Sheffield area.

Thankfully the traffic wasn’t bad today. Almost all of the lights we had to go through were green and we didn’t get stuck driving behind any slow people.

I pulled into the closest parking spot I could fine and turned the car off in a hurry. Mason was still trying to get out of the car when I reached her and I pulled her out of the car before opening the back door and getting the bag. I slung it over my shoulder and put one hand on her back and the other on top of hers, which was resting on her stomach.

“Are yeh nervous?” I asked. I knew that I sure was. These kinds of nerves were worse than any I have ever had before. I was more nervous now than I was before my first show with Bring Me the Horizon.

“No,” she answered, smiling and shaking her head. “Do yen want to know why I’m not nervous?”

“Of course I do. Hopefully it will put my nerves at ease,” I answered.

“I’m not nervous because I know everything will turn out okay. I’m going to be a good mother to her. And yeh are goin’ to be the world’s best father. Yeh may not have a lot of confidence in yourself, but I have tons. You’re going to be great, don’t tell yourself otherwise.”

“How do yeh know that?” I asked.

“Because I know that yeh are a great husband. And that yeh are going to be an even better father to this baby.”

Hearing her say that meant a lot to me. If she had the much faith in me that I would be a good father, I should have some faith in myself.

“Can I help you sir?” a girl behind the counter asked as we walked into the hospital.

“My wife is having contractions,” I told her, not really knowing what else to say.

She pointed toward a set of double doors that were across the room, “Go through those doors and I’ll call for someone to come get yeh. There are wheel chairs on the other side of the doors, yeh can sit down in one if you would like.”

I nodded, silently telling her that I understood what she said, and Mason and I walked slowly to the doors. I pulled a wheel chair away from the wall once we were inside and she sat down in it immediately, then doubled over and groaned as another contraction hit her.

Soon enough a nurse came and took Mason and I into a room. She gave us a gown and went to go get the things for the IV as I helped her get out of her clothes and into the hospital gown.

Mason was just getting settled on the bed when the nurse came back in. She kneeled down on the side of the bed that I wasn’t standing next to and picked up Mason’s hand, cleaning it with an alcohol pad.

“This is going to hurt. But I’m sure it will be nothing compared to the contractions you’re having,” she explained. Mason grabbed my hand and looked up at me as the nurse stuck her with the needle. She winced a little and smiled at me once it was all done. “I’m just going to hook up some fluids to keep yeh hydrated. Then later on when you’re more dilated we’ll hook your pain medications up to it also. Your doctor will be in shortly to check and see how far along yeh are.”

Mason smiled at her then nodded. The nurse left the room and I sat down next to Mason on the bed and took her hand in mine. We talked about random things for a while. Making sure that things pertaining to the baby were done. The car seat installed properly, the baby monitors had batteries in them, and all the crib sheets were clean.

“Mason Sykes, it’s nice to see yeh again. Sorry that I haven’t been here for your last few visits. But I made sure to be back for the birth! Are yeh excited?” she asked while coming into the room and turning at the sink to wash her hands. She pulled a set of gloves over her hands and walked over to the bed. “This will be a little less uncomfortable since the labor has started. I’m just checkin’ to see how dilated yeh are. Then I can give yeh a rough estimate as to how long it’ll be until you can finally see your baby.”

Mason pulled her feet in closer to her body as the doctor set one hand on her knee and put one under the covers. I had never been to one of the appointments where she had to be examined. I just stuck to coming to the ones that involved an ultrasound, and seeing the baby.

“Well, I’d say that yeh are already about half way there. Almost five centimeters,” she explained then held up her fingers to show us five centimeters. “As yeh know, yeh ‘ave to get to ten before yeh can start pushin’, but at the rate you’re at, that probably won’t take long. I’ll send someone in to give yeh your pain meds.”

“Thank yeh. The contractions are startin’ to get worse. And more frequent,” Mason said.

When the person with Mason’s pain medications came into the room, he got her all set up and in the right position. Her legs were draped over the edge of the bed and she hand a pillow pressed to her stomach with one hand and the other just about squeezed the life out of mine.

He told her to be very still, and explained that even if she moved a little bit and the needle hit something, that it could paralyze her. That would not be good. The needle was inserted into her lower back and a small string looking thing was left when he pulled it out. He told us that it would keep an almost constant flow of pain reliever going and she should be completely numb in around a half hour.

After he left the doctor came back in and checked Mason again. She was only at six centimeters now. Then she told us that it should only be another hour or so before she could start pushing.

They hooked up some kind of machine around her stomach to monitor the baby’s heartbeat, and to make sure that she didn’t go into distress.

“Are yeh nervous now?” I asked, laughing slightly. “I’m going to step out into the hall and call my mum and dad. I might even call Tom and let ‘im know what’s goin’ on. I don’t expect ‘im to come, though.”

She kissed me and let go of my hand as I stood up to leave the room. I pulled my phone out of my pocket once I was out in the hallway and hit the send button once I had the number dialed.

“Hey, Oli. I’m cookin’ dinner right now. Can I call yeh back later?” my mom said answering the phone. I smiled, knowing how shocked she was going to be when I told her that Mason had gone into labor.

“No, mum, I think that yeh and dad might want to get down to the hospital. Mason is goin’ to ‘ave the baby soon.”

I heard her yell to my father to meet her in the car, but she didn’t tell him why. “We’ll be there shortly, Oliver. Give Mason a kiss for me and tell ‘er that we’ll be there soon. Are yeh gonna call Tom or should I?”

“Can yeh call ‘im? I was goin’ to but I kind of want to get back to Mason,” I asked, peeking back in the room when I heard something start to beep.

Suddenly around five nurses and the doctor started running to the room and I heard Mason yell something from inside the room. “Mum, I ‘ave to go. I think somethin’s wrong.”

I didn’t wait for her to say goodbye, I just hung up. The doctor went into the room first and I followed her in. Mason had her head thrown back and was breathing quickly. Something was wrong, I just knew it.

“Mr. Sykes, I need you to put these on,” one of the nurses said handing me a pile of blue clothes, a cap, and shoe covers were sitting on top. “There is a bathroom right over there.”

I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut, not bothering to lock it, that would just take more time. I pulled my shirt over my head and pulled on the blue one. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my jeans down my legs, grabbing the bottoms of each leg and pulling them off. The scrub pants were fast and easy to get on. The cap fit easily around my head, and it itched a little. I didn’t even put my shoes on all the way before slipped the covers over them and rushing out of the room, throwing my clothes on the bag that we brought here.

“Yeh need to get up by her head and stay out of the way. The baby has gone into distress; the umbilical cord is wrapped around its neck. We need to hurry to get ‘er out or she could die.”

She could die? Did they mean Mason or the baby? I didn’t ask though, because I didn’t want to know the answer.

“Come on, Mason!” the doctor yelled. “I need you to push! We ‘ave to get this baby out, now!”

I looked down at Mason and took one of her balled up fists into my hands. Immediately she wrapped her fingers around my own and screamed. I leaned over the railing around the bed and kissed her forehead and used my free hand to wipe her hair out of her face.

“Come on, you can do it. Push, sweetie. Just think this will all be over soon, and she’ll finally be here,” I whispered. Not knowing how true my words actually where.

“Mason, I can see ‘er head! You’re doing great, sweetie. Keep it up,” the doctor said glancing up to look at Mason then looked down again.

I looked around the room, the doctor was at the foot of the bed, and the nurses were setting up things for when the baby actually came. One was laying out a tape measure and another was laying a piece of paper on the scale. Two were helping the doctor deliver the baby and the last one was turning on a heat lamp, which they would put the baby under once she was born.

The doctor started yelled out orders to the nurses and my gaze shifted back down to Mason. I noticed right away that her face was even redder than it was before and her breathing was shallow, and she was weezing.

“Mason,” I gasped. “She’s not breathing right! Someone help her, what’s going on?”

A nurse rushed over to me then grabbed Mason’s wrist, looking for her pulse. She looked at me with a worried look on her face. “Tell her that you love her and that you’ll be right back, then you need to get out of the way and into the hall. We’ll come and get you once she’s been stabilized.”

“What’s going on with her? What’s happening?” I demanded, not doing what she told me.

“Just do it. I’ll come and let you know what’s going on, once I know,”

I kissed Mason and she turned to look at me, tears were close to falling down her face. “I love yeh. And I’ll be right back. They said that I’m in the way right now.”

She tried to smile, but she seemed too weak. I left the room quickly, not being able to stand being in there for much longer.

Unlike the room, the hallway was empty. I saw the nurse’s station at the end of the hall but only one person was behind it, the other’s probably in my wife’s room.

I found a bare spot on the wall across the hall from the room and leaned against it, then slid down until I was sitting on the floor. Nothing was going right. Something was wrong with Mason, and it was bad, very bad.

A cry erupted from the room and I sucked in a deep breath. That was my baby, and I wasn’t in there to see her being born. The cries continued for a few minutes and I found myself wiping tears from my cheeks as the door opened.

One of the nurses walked out of the room with a little bundle of pink blankets in her arms. “Mr. Sykes. I’d like to introduce you to your daughter. And I’m sorry to say, but your wife didn’t make it. Something went wrong during the child birth. The doctor believes that it has something to do with your wife’s previous miscarriage.”

She handed me the baby and turned around to walk back into the room. I looked down at the little girl in my arms and started crying again. She looked just like her mother.

“Oliver!” my mother yelled as she ran down the hallway, my dad following after her. She saw the tears running down my face and looked at the baby in my arms.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Mason didn’t make it,” I choked out