Tangled up in You

It would be a complete lie if I said I would miss Baltimore. I had never become accustomed to the city streets and the harsh, snowy winters acting so contrastingly to the constant drizzle of rain I was used to in Oregon.

I hadn’t slept the entire trip, offering to drive Fallon and I to where we would be meeting our bus. I tapped lightly on the steering wheel to the tones of Jimmy Eat World’s Bleed America as I stared blankly at the open road. All of my friends slept last night in hopes to calm their racing nerves, but I stayed awake in order to convince myself this was the right thing to do.

It didn’t matter how strict my parents were, I was raised to do as I was told, and sneaking out of my bedroom window from the third floor was definitely not what I was told.

I heard Fallon shuffle next to me and I glanced at her as she stretched out, “Good morning,” she said with a smile. I nodded my head in response, suddenly realizing how tired I was. “Do you want me to take over?” she asked.

I shook my head, “I think we’re almost there.”

“Ashton, are you doing okay? I know it’s hard to leave your brother,” Fallon whispered.

I literally shuddered at the thought of him, “It’s dumb to think he’ll even care.”

“I think he would have thought this was totally cool,” she smiled.

I thought for a moment before my lips spread into a smile, “He would have been so jealous.”

“’Atta girl,” she said. “I’m so excited for you to meet my boys!”

“Me too! You know what I’m not excited about though? All Time Low,” I said flatly.

Fallon chuckled, “They sort of got us on this tour, Ash.”

“Alex only did it so he could harass me the entire time,” I said bitterly.

“You did sneak out of your house,” she responded, “Maybe that will make him let up a little.”

I shrugged, “You’ll just beat him up for me if he gives me a hard time, right?”

“You know it, girl,” she smiled. When the GPS told us we were only feet away from the venue I looked at Fallon.

“Are you nervous?” I asked as we pulled to a stop. I didn’t think she would be; she was the strong one.

“Honestly?” she bit her lip, “I’m terrified.”

We climbed out of my truck as we embraced all the other girls in shaky hugs, everyone radiating their nervousness to each other.

“Is this ours?” I asked Daiton, pointing to the large bus in front.

“Sure is,” Starla smiled, wrapping her arm around my shoulder.

That’s when it hit me. I had made it out. I was with the best friends a girl could ask for, doing what millions of kids barely dared to dream of.

Jeneva linked her arm with mine and pulled the other girls along with us, “Let’s go let those boys know that Topless has arrived.”

**

“Fallon, who is the creep staring at us?” I whispered, glancing at the boy across the room as another guy spoke to him. He never stopped looking over at the two of us, and it was getting weird. He had short brown hair and he was ridiculously skinny.

She shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

She continued to help me set up my drum set since we were opening. We hadn’t really gotten a chance to speak to anyone because we got to the venue later than we should have and had to start setting up immediately.

“Fallon Reed, come give papa Eric a big hug,” the creepy boy said, approaching Fallon with open arms.

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, “I don’t know you.”

His face fell and he dropped his arms dramatically to the side, “Go die. Hi, I’m Eric.”

I shook his hand that was extended towards mine, “I’m Ashton. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Same here. She totally talks crap about you all the time, and I’m always like, ‘Fallon, stop being a jerk,’ but she’s just a horrible person. I’m sorry about that,” he said so fast that I almost lost track of his words.

“It is nice to finally meet the Eric she always speaks about. All Fallon does is talk about how attractive you are and how she’s completely in love with you,” I said, expecting the punch that Fallon threw into my arm.

“I hate both of you,” she said simply.

She and Eric stared at one another before their straight faces broke into smiles and they engulfed each other tightly. I laughed before leaving the two alone and walking to outside of the venue.

“Ashton, get over here,” I heard my name and turned to face Rian calling me over.

“Hey cous, what’s up?” I said as he wrapped his arm over my shoulder.

“Guys, this is my favorite cousin Ashton. She’s playing drums in Topless,” he said to the three boys in front of us.

“I’m John,” the tall one in the middle said, “This is Garrett and Kennedy. And somewhere around here is Pat and Jared.”

I smiled at the three boys, deciding to leave out everything Fallon had already told me about them.

John O’Callaghan was the lady’s man, sort of a womanizer but he knew how to treat his friends.

Garrett Nickelsen was shy and a sweetheart. He was into videogames and had this weird obsession with zombies, someone I knew I would immediately get along with.

Pat Kirch was the crazy one, never being able to sit still and probably the weirdest kid I would ever meet.

Jared Monaco would be the best man at every one of his friend’s weddings in the future, and he would never leave a friend out to dry.

And Kennedy Brock, well I didn’t know much about him. I had heard he was sweet and extremely fun, but the scowl on his face told me otherwise.

It was at that moment I heard the voice that had made me hate Baltimore since I was twelve years old.

“Ashton-freaking-Mitchell,” he sang in disbelief as he wrapped an arm over my shoulder, pulling me away from the group.

“Alex Gaskarth,” I said, shrugging out of his hold, “Didn’t believe I would make it out here?”

“I made a bet that you wouldn’t. You cost me money, Ashy baby,” he said.

I rolled my eyes, “Don’t call me that.”

“Did you run away?” he asked, grinning. I nodded my head and he embraced me tightly, “I finally did it!”

“Did what?” I mumbled into his chest, gasping for air.

He pulled me away but kept his hands on my shoulders, “I corrupted you!”

I shook my head in annoyance, “No one corrupted me, douche bag. “

His face fell, “I will never give up.”

“You tried every summer for six years,” I said, “And me moving to Baltimore a few months ago didn’t do anything either.”

“You will get drunk and make out with me,” he said, almost an order.

“Alex, you’re kind of a freak,” I said seriously.

“I love you, too.”

My mouth formed in a straight line, “I feel like you think we have this love-hate relationship, but I literally just hate you, all the time.”

“You can’t hate your first kiss, Ashton!” he whined.

“I was fourteen and Jack dared me!” I said, ultimately repulsed by the memory.

He lifted his eyebrows and leaned closer to me, “Shall we try again?”

I pushed him away, “I’ll kiss you when I get drunk.”

He frowned, “So never?”

“You’re finally catching on,” I said, relieved, before walking back into the venue.

Alex Gaskarth was sort of the bane of my existence. I met him when I was twelve years old when my family bought a summer house right next door to his. I had introduced him to Rian and grown up with them every summer.

I had actually like Alex for the first few summers, but then it got really old with him trying to “corrupt” me. I liked who I was. I got told everyday that I was a goodie good, or that I was too sheltered, but I had grown content with it.

I’d seen the effects of alcohol and teen recklessness first hand and I had no interest in taking part. I wouldn’t judge anyone for what they chose to do, but it wasn’t me.

I almost envied the fact that Fallon was comfortable kissing random guys, or that Jen could shamelessly flirt with any boy she wanted, or that Daiton could so easily commit to a guy, or even Starla, that had fun any place she went.

It’s not like I never thought about letting loose, but I just really had no desire.

“Ashton, get over here, slut! Sound check,” Fallon yelled.

I skipped over to my drum set, putting on my large earphones and closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and forgetting about all the thoughts racing through my scattered brain.

This was what mattered, and consequently, what would be my release.