The Wonderful Yet Terrible Reality
Chapter Six
The next morning, i floated through my routine, not making a sound, not really seeing what i'm doing. I was too busy diving through my subconcious. Going through stories of what if's. Max sat at the breakfast bar, watching me go through motions, as if on autopilot. I couldn't help it. After yesterday...i was just....numb...
"Chelsea?" Max said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. The only movement i noticed since i got out of bed.
"Huh?"
"Are you okay? You seem, zombified."
"Yeah...i'm just fine."
"What happened yesterday?"
"I honestly don't know. When Alex opened the door and started yelling my mind blanked out everything except for Alex's rage, Zack protecting me, and me sobbing. And the fact the Alex tried to hit Zack, and i yelled if you're going to fight over me neither of you get me. And then i left." i replied, the memory flashing through my mind like a movie instead of a memory.
"Oh, well, i'm going to the guys house today, like always. Are you...ya know...coming with? Or is your mind and your razor getting the best of you?"
"I'm...I'm staying home today. My mind needs...a rest."
"Okay, just call if you need anything."
"Always."
When Max left, i went upstairs and crawled back in bed. For almost the whole day i laid there contemplating all the what if's. What if i didn't let Zack talk me into going to a hotel with him? What if i didn't let him buy me "just one more" drink? What if i didn't start dancing with him? What if i hadn't been with him at all that day? The different scenes all played out in my head with different endings. But one thing was always the same--they all ended with me and Alex--happy--hugging--kissing. Together.
Soon it became to much. With the tears overflowing like always whenever this happened, i grabbed my old friend, introduced him to new skin, and broke open old scars. With my eyes squeezed shut, the first cut came just as Max walked through the frontdoor and yelled i'm home. Then everything went black...
"Chelsea?" Max said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. The only movement i noticed since i got out of bed.
"Huh?"
"Are you okay? You seem, zombified."
"Yeah...i'm just fine."
"What happened yesterday?"
"I honestly don't know. When Alex opened the door and started yelling my mind blanked out everything except for Alex's rage, Zack protecting me, and me sobbing. And the fact the Alex tried to hit Zack, and i yelled if you're going to fight over me neither of you get me. And then i left." i replied, the memory flashing through my mind like a movie instead of a memory.
"Oh, well, i'm going to the guys house today, like always. Are you...ya know...coming with? Or is your mind and your razor getting the best of you?"
"I'm...I'm staying home today. My mind needs...a rest."
"Okay, just call if you need anything."
"Always."
When Max left, i went upstairs and crawled back in bed. For almost the whole day i laid there contemplating all the what if's. What if i didn't let Zack talk me into going to a hotel with him? What if i didn't let him buy me "just one more" drink? What if i didn't start dancing with him? What if i hadn't been with him at all that day? The different scenes all played out in my head with different endings. But one thing was always the same--they all ended with me and Alex--happy--hugging--kissing. Together.
Soon it became to much. With the tears overflowing like always whenever this happened, i grabbed my old friend, introduced him to new skin, and broke open old scars. With my eyes squeezed shut, the first cut came just as Max walked through the frontdoor and yelled i'm home. Then everything went black...