On My Own

The sad thing is with not having anyone to talk to I've resorted to posting on here again. I have starting once again feeling like I don't belong or deserve to belong or have anywhere to be for that matter. I hate being like this....me. It doesn't help that depression and other shit runs all through both sides of my family. I feel like I'm going to fall apart any second and just can't wait for that moment and scares me deeply, it's imagining cutting again or suicide no matter where I am and honestly I don't know whats keeping me heRe. I just hope sometime soon someone can answer that for me. I use to be so different when I was younger and still being young and having these thoughts scare me so much, and what's makes it worse is that is reality I probably have no one at all......my mom just thinks I could care less about everything, my dad isn't around enough to talk, my best friends seem tired of hearing about my depressing talk all the time and to me it seems that I annoy everyone else I have really lost hope and I wish I could find it again.......I really am about to break.