On My Own

It's depressing to know that my only security is a jacket. I finally tell someone (my grandma) that i'm depressed and all she says is we are all depressed, that we all hate it here. I mean i'm not trying to make it all about me but it's like no one cares about me. No one cares that a 14 year old girl has to share a room (and bed) with her mom, no one cares about the emo freak that barely has any real friends at school or in life. I don't even think I have friends that would chose to hang out with me above anyone else. I wish I could live with my dad, but my mom said that she doesn't know what she would do without me, that she wouldn't be here without me, she basically told me that she would kill herself if I moved to my dad's house on top of everything else, and the thing I find ironic is that she is the one to bring it up weather or not I wanted to live with my dad and I always lie and tell her that I don't in fear of her hurting herself. When in it all i'm the one hurting their-self physically and emotionally.

It is no longer a wish, fantasy, or anything other than a fact, I want to have scars till someone notices my pain, till someone sees the real me and I just want to see the blood flow.

Is there anyone out there who can be there for me or just willing to be my friend?