Redemption.

Sitting in the car next to her father, watching the Arizona scenery change from nothing but dirt to housing complexes, Gemma realized just how much she had missed her hometown. Being away for four years was way too long for her liking. Looking out the window, she stared in amazement at the number of things that hadn’t changed in Tempe. The houses still looked the same, the plants still looked as though they hadn’t been watered in ages, and the convenience store down the road still seemed busier than ever. Gemma sighed as she continued to stare out the window.

The car suddenly turned down a familiar road, and she felt her stomach sink a little. The houses on this particular road held so many memories; she wanted to cherish forever and others she wanted to forget. Houses finally came into view and she immediately began to think of her old friends; Kennedy and their late night strolls to the ice cream shack, Garret and their Friday night video game extravaganzas, Jared and their silly sing-offs, and last but not least, Pat and their days of pulling pranks on the other guys.

Her house began to come into view, and that only made her think of John. Even though Pat was her best friend, John had always been her favorite. There was always something about him that intrigued her and it wasn’t just because he was the stereotypical ‘boy next door’. John was a simple guy, yet so complicated. He was the first person she had ever met that she couldn’t figure out and that’s what she was drawn to the most. To her, he was a mystery that was in desperate need of being solved. She wanted to be close to him whenever she could and talk to him as much as time warranted. There was always something that bonded them together and she couldn’t ever figure out what it was.

The car began to slow to a considerably low speed. John’s house was in plain sight and Gemma closed her eyes. As the car slowly inched past his house Gemma began to remember the days back in high school where she would always make her dad stop the car right in front of his drive-way, just so she could get out and say hi. Memories of sleepovers, band practices, and late night cram sessions, which only turned into horror movie marathons, flooded her mind. For a split second as they passed his cream-colored house, she felt like she was in a time warp, thrown back into a time that was characterized by confusion, happiness, and naïve love. But as she slowly opened her eyes, she regained her grip on reality. Things definitely weren’t the same as they were in high school, and Gemma learned that in the course of the four years she was gone, nothing would ever be the same again.

Pulling into the driveway of her childhood home, Gemma felt a sense of relief wash over her. She immediately felt at ease when she opened the car door and placed one foot on the pavement and hoisted herself up out of the car. Tempe, Arizona had shaped who she was and it felt good to be back home. Gemma advanced toward the front door of the two-story home, as her father grabbed her luggage from the trunk of the car. She was excited and nervous at the same time to see her mother. It had been four years since she’d seen any of her family, and she feared that her mother would be angry at her for that. When she made it to the front door she slowly turned the knob and poked her head in through the crack of the door to check if it was clear to go in. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open wider and walked into the living room. Looking around, she noticed that things still looked the same. Picture frames were still carefully nailed to the wall, trophies still perched above the fireplace, and the record player was still in the exact same place. A smile graced her lips when she heard bustling coming from within the kitchen. Slowly creeping toward the doorway, Gemma immediately saw her mother leaning over the stove with a rag in hand.

“Hey mom,” she said quietly. Her mom let out a squeak and jumped around to face Gemma, with her left hand immediately flying over her heart.

“Oh my goodness Gem, you scared the crap out of me!” she half-yelled, with a smiled etched onto her face. She quickly advanced across the kitchen, grabbed Gemma and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed my baby.”

Gemma slouched a little in her mother’s arms as a feeling of guilt began to overwhelm her.

“I’ve missed you too mom. I’m sorry I never came home for the holidays,” she muttered into her mother’s shoulder. Her mother shook her head and waved it off.

“What matters is that you’re here now, right? And for awhile I hope?” she asked, hoping to God that Gemma would say yes. Gemma sheepishly nodded her head.

“I plan on transferring schools so I can be closer to home. I’ve missed this place,” she replied, catching her mom by surprise. Gemma had always been one of those girls who swore up and down that she would leave Tempe and never come back. She constantly told her friends and parents that when she had the chance, she would branch out and start a life in California. Gemma though, realized that California wasn’t exactly everything it was cracked up to be. Sure the beaches were nice and the cities were full of such excitement, but it was nothing compared to Tempe. Not in the least.

“You’re transferring back?” Gemma’s father interrupted as he emerged from the living room. Both parents stood side-by-side and stared at Gemma expectantly, awaiting her answer.

“Yeah. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love California, but it’s just not the same y’know? My family isn’t there.”

“Or your best friends,” her mom added. Gemma raised her eyebrows at her mother’s statement and slowly nodded her head in agreement.

“Yeah, them too,” she mumbled, her parents noticing the fact that she wasn’t quite thrilled about it. Her mother seemed to overlook this and continued on about the boys Gemma had lost contact with years ago.

“Well, I’m sure those boys will be so excited that you’re back! I told John’s mother that we should all go out and have a nice dinner to celebrate you being back in town. The boys are back in town too and they just finished some tour thing. I think? I don’t remember. But I know that it had something to do with their music. You should call them tomorrow and hang out or something.” Gemma stared at her mother in contempt. She knew about everything that went on between her and a certain neighbor and Gemma couldn’t believe that her mother was overlooking the entire ordeal and making it seem like it was some petty little miscommunication between friends. “I’m sure they missed you hunny.”

“I know they’ve missed you baby girl,” her father added. “Pat calls here often and asks about you. He’s asked for your number numerous times, but I’ve had to abide by your wishes and tell him that I don’t have permission to give out your number. John comes by sometimes to catch up, and always wants to know how you are doing. Those boys have gone a little stir-crazy because you’ve been gone.” Gemma simply scoffed at the last half of her dad’s explanation and shook her head in disproval.

“I don’t care about what John has asked. Like he has any right to know how the hell I’ve been doing. I’ve really got nothing to say to him. I mean, after what he did I don’t think there’s really much to say anyways,” Gemma spoke up, anger clearly heard in her voice. Enough time had gone by for the anger to subside, but having to talk about John again made raw emotions she never really dealt with surface.

Her mom sighed and pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and took a seat.

“Gemma, you have to realize that things were left unsaid. I think you two should talk,” her mother advised. She knew that Gemma had a rough time after the whole “incident”, and she was only looking out for her daughter. This caused Gemma to roll her eyes and lean her side against the door way.

“Don’t even worry about it mom. I’m perfectly fine and most definitely better off without exchanging words with him. The years that have passed have made things quite easy.”

“Alright Gem, I just want you to be okay,” her mom said sympathetically. Gemma smiled and thanked her mother for her concern.

“Well, I’m gonna go unpack my things since I’m gonna be here for awhile,” she told her parents. With that, she turned on the heels of her feet and slowly glided into the living room. Next to the staircase she found her lime-green suitcase and backpack. She bent over and hoisted the heavy backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the handle of her suitcase. Slowly she trudged up the stairs, pulling her belongings behind her.

“Jesus Christ…” she mumbled as she finally reached the top of the stairs, her bag weighing heavily on her shoulder and her hand cramping from gripping the handle on her suitcase too hard. “I have way too much shit.” She moved down the hallway with her bags in tow, and stopped in front of a lime-green door. Posters, poems, and song lyrics covered the entire thing from top to bottom. Gemma lifted her hand and touched the doorknob, gripping her free hand around it. She took a deep break and slowly twisted the knob while putting pressure on the door itself. As she opened it, a burst of cool air suddenly hit her, causing goose bumps to form all over her body. She entered her room just enough to pull her suitcase through the door. She dropped her backpack to the ground and kicked her suitcase over, letting it fall flat on the floor. With a swift kick, she shut the door and then turned around to examine her once habituated room. Gemma sighed when she realized that nothing had changed.

Her room still smelled like the vanilla perfume she used to spray every day. The band posters on the wall still remained intact. Picture frames still covered a majority of her room; pictures that were full of memories and stories she would surely never forget. Gemma took a couple steps towards her bed and then leaped towards it. She landed flat on her belly and let out an ‘oomph’. The mattress still was as soft and comfy as she remembered it to be.

As she flipped onto her side, her eyes landed on a particular picture frame that had writing all over the wooden sides. Without even thinking, she sat up and reached for the picture. It was a photograph of herself with her arms around her favorite group of boys. Looking over the picture, seeing the smile she had long let anyone else ever see, she realized that that was the happiest and saddest point in her life thus far. Quite a contradiction, to be both happy and sad, but the story behind this particular photograph justifies the reason Gemma felt that way.

Gemma let out a heavy sigh and began to read the hand-written notes on the side of the frame. There were multiple ‘I love you’s’ from Pat, an ‘I’ll miss you kid’ from Garret, two stick figures holding hands and kissing from Jared, Kennedy's signature with hearts all around it, and last but not least, a quote from John O’Callaghan himself. Gemma placed the frame back on her desk, not even bothering to read over the quote. She had read it and re-read it so many times after she received the picture, that the words were deeply engrained into her memory.

Promise me you’ll always be happy by my side and I promise to sing to you when all the music dies.

“Well, promises were never your forte now were they John?” she bitterly muttered aloud. It was then that she remembered why she left all of her personal belongings behind when she fled to the southern coast of California. Gemma didn’t want pictures like this to remind her of the close-knit group of friends she once had, nor the memories that came along with them. There was a reason she had wanted nothing to do with anything that was tied to Tempe while she was in California. She wanted time away from everything and everyone, but being back and finally seeing those photos for the first time in years, however, caused all of the bitter feelings she repressed during her plight to the Golden State to resurface.

A cool breeze of air lofted into her room, causing the pastel green curtains to slightly flutter. Creasing her eyebrows together, she realized that the window was ajar. She arose from bed and walked to the window. Reaching out, she pushed aside the curtains revealing the open window and the darkness of the night that presented itself on the opposite side of the glass. She pulled the window shut hard enough so that the latch was tightly locked and then proceeded to pull the curtains together. Just before she fully shut them, however, a dim light from across the way caught her eye. It took her a few seconds to process what was providing the light but when she did a soft smile began to form on her lips. There, across the street, was the dimly lit swing set that she used to always play on as a little girl.

To most kids, that swing set meant nothing more than just a simple way to kill time and have fun. For Gemma, this was so much more than that. It used to be her escape from life, a place where she could always go to think about a day’s events, or a place where she could go and not be bothered by the constant bickering between her parents. This was the place -and the only place- where Gemma let tears flow down her cheeks freely and vented all of her frustrations. She hated crying in front of others, fearing that it would make her come off as weak. Once, and only once, had she actually let her weaker side show. Gemma was always the master at being able to control her emotions in front of others, but seeing as how the situation was far too much to handle, she crumbled in front of the very person she vowed to never cry in front of.

Gemma suddenly got the sudden urge to return to this sacred place. She let her feet guide her out of her room, down the stairs, and out of the front door. She hurriedly crossed the grassy front lawn and walked safely to the other side of the street. She felt like a little kid again when she set her foot upon the curb, and practically ran from the sidewalk to the swing, plopping down onto the black belt that was held by a metal linked chain on either side. She steadily rose to her feet, walked back a few steps with the swing being her, and then quickly jumped back on it. This gave her a starting momentum, which she kept going by moving her feet back and forth.

She began to go higher and higher and with every kick of the legs she felt herself checking more and more out of reality. She closed her eyes and, as the cool night breeze whisked around her, she suddenly got a feeling she hadn’t felt in quite some time; she felt free. At that moment she didn’t have any worries at all. Her body began to go numb and every thought she had seemed to blur into nothingness. She didn’t have a single thought about John, or her friends, or her problems. No, she felt a sense of relief, like an enormous amount of weight had suddenly been lifted off of her shoulders. Her legs suddenly became dead weight beneath her and her momentum slowly began to cease. Her eyes remained closed as she basked in the feeling she sought to achieve constantly all throughout her childhood and teenage years; when everything was so easy and carefree, and she didn’t have to face the repercussions of young love.

Gemma was so deep into her own thoughts that she was completely oblivious to the sound of tennis shoes hitting the pavement not far off from the swing set. The footsteps began to get closer and closer, yet Gemma still hadn’t realized that was wasn’t alone anymore in the dimly lit place she had labeled has her “sacred escape from reality”. When they finally ceased altogether a few feet from Gemma and all that could be heard was the steady breaths coming from both Gemma and this stealthy intruder.

“I thought my mom was lying when she said that you were back in town,” the stranger softly spoke, startling Gemma half to death and breaking her out of her reverie. Her grip visibly tightened on the chains of the swing when she recognized the voice of the person standing before her. She looked up at the source of the voice and saw one of her old best friends standing there, with his hands shoved in his pockets. Gemma had gone over many scenarios in her head about how she was going to react when she stumbled upon one of the guys. She had planned out what she was going to say and thoroughly thought out every possible thing they could bring up. But this, this was something she didn’t think about. Her reply, though, was almost immediate.

“Not everyone has the innate ability to lie like you do,” she lowly shot back. It was such a bitchy thing to say, but she knew he deserved it. Hell, he deserved a lot more than just a few unkind words.

The lanky boy slowly nodded his head and shot his eyes in every direction, purposely avoiding eye contact with Gemma.

“Right,” he replied and slowly advanced toward the empty swing next to Gemma that slowly moved along with the breeze. A million thoughts raced through her mind and, as she looked over at the shaggy haired boy beside her, every jumbled thought she had seemed to suddenly become clear.