Point Me Towards Tomorrow

After that one night, that first try, my life has spiraled downhill. I don't even remember most of what happened during the months after that night.
***

Estelle woke up the next morning in her bed with a brain-splitting headache. She didn't remember anything after she arrived at the party. She didn't know how she got home, or what she did at the party. All she knew was that when her eyes opened, she was flooded with light that made her feel sick. Her radio was going off with some new age something.

She slowly got up and walked down the long hall to the bathroom. The bright white made her headache worse all of a sudden and she closed her eyes as she fumbled with the handles of the shower. She stepped into the burning hot water and just let it run down her body.

After a long, hot shower, Estelle heard her mother yelling at her from the bottom of the stairs.

"Stella, you need to come down for some food. Remember, you're spending the weekend with your father!"

Estelle quickly got dressed, her headache relieved slightly from the pain killer she took before her shower. As she walked down the narrow staircase, she was suddenly hit with a huge craving. 'You want more, don't you?' Her mind was manipulating her, and all during her breakfast she was trying to battle off the craving.

"Estelle, are you okay? You're usually pretty talkative," her step-father asked her gently. She just put up a hand to signal that she was fine, and finished her waffles.

Her mother sent her upstairs to her room so that she could pack a change of clothes for her weekend. When she looked on her bedside table, her eyes grew wide. On the dark brown cylinder of a table, was a small Ziploc bag filled with a white powder. Her eyes grew wide as she realized it was what she was craving. She took the bag and put it in her pocket.

***

Estelle got out of her mother's car in front of her father's house. She waved a shaky goodbye to the woman in the driver's seat and walked up to the front door of the house she wished she could be more familiar with. She put her hand in her pocket to make sure that her baggie was still there before she knocked on the door.

Her father's wife, Brittney, opened the door.

"Estelle, hi! Your father told me to expect you," the blonde woman explained as Estelle stepped into the house. "He's just upstairs, he'll be down if you ca—"

"Yes, I know. If I call for him, he'll come downstairs. You don't need to tell me," Estelle snapped. She blinked oddly; she usually was very pleasant with Brittney. "I'm sorry; I don't know what that was." Brittney just shook her head and called Mike down.

When he got down the stairs, he gave Estelle a big bear hug. "Hey kid. You can just go and put your stuff where you usually do," he stated to her calmly. She just nodded and started to shuffle to the stairs.

She had to work on picking up her legs enough to get up the stairs, but once she did, she dragged her feet to her father's guest room. She turned the knob with a shaky hand and then threw her small bag one the bed. Walking to the bathroom down the hall, she sneakily took out the small bag in her pocket.

She turned on the sink and got her hands wet to then splash her face with the cold water. Her hands turned off the sink and then laid out two thin, short lines of the powder on the counter.

***

Mike stood at the foot of the stairs as his daughter walked down them calmly. She had been upstairs for about half an hour, and he had been getting worried about her. He noticed at first that she had been very cold when he hugged her, and Brittney told him how snappy she had been.

"What were you doing up there, sweetheart?" He asked Estelle as she finally got all the way down the stairs.

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering how Queenie's show went last night," she replied, trying to keep her cool.

He just gave her a small hug and smiled. "What show?" he asked.

She mentally gave a huge sigh of relief when he changed the subject. The two walked into his family room and sat on the couch as she explained where her best friend had been the night before.

***

That afternoon, Estelle went out on the town for a few hours, taking in the sights and sounds of Berkley. She went into boutiques, cafes, and any other place her whimsy led her. Even though her appetite was totally gone, she still looked at the food in any store that had it. She ran her fingers through the satin fringe of an overcoat she found in a shop and gave a big grin as the tingles that started in her fingers spread up her arm.

She ended up wandering into a large park, where many people were enjoying the mid-fall sun. Pulling her long jacket under her, she sat down and looked up at the sky. She got lost in her own thoughts and didn't notice a young woman sitting down next to her.

"Hey, weren't you at that party I went to last night?" Estelle heard a voice from next to her say. She looked down from the sky and saw a frail girl who was probably a few years older than Estelle was looking directly into her eyes. 'She does seem pretty familiar,' Estelle thought.

"I think maybe I was," Estelle answered the question as she realized who the person was. She was the girl who went off to go and get the powder the night before. 'Wow, I won't even ask how I remember that," Estelle thought. "I don't remember your name, but I'm Estelle."

"Oh yeah, Teddy introduced us. But," the girl leaned in "I think you were too wasted to remember me." She leaned back out so that other people could maybe overhear. "I'm Allie."

Estelle closed her eyes as the fragment of memory returned to her. She did remember the girl. "Well, nice to re-meet you, Allie." Estelle turned to look at the sky again, but Allie kept talking.

"You see, me, Teddy, Samantha, our whole group, we each take turns hosting parties. It's my turn next week. Do you wanna go?"

Estelle barely heard her, but said yes without thinking. She and the other girl worked out the logistics for the next Friday night.